1. If there’s one thing I know (besides how to power my alarm clock with a quickly decaying potato [Thanks scouts!]) it’s that for all intents and purposes, a baby is the equivalent of a tiny, severely astonishingly incomprehensible, intoxicated elderly midget, and you are responsible for it. Fuck us, right?
When you learn you are about to become a parent, what you’re essentially being informed of is that for the next twelve to fifteen years, you are going to be the metaphorical equivalent of a designated driver. Because you have to get the drunks home; The drunks in this analogy being your child, and home being adulthood. Now by designated driver, I don’t mean you can’t drink, fuck no. Far from it. In fact, I’m not entirely sure it’s possible to raise kids without at least occasionally being completely fucking intoxicated. (My father once said “The day I can’t do my job drunk is the day I hang up my school-bus keys”). What I’m saying is you’re the one with the keys.
If you’re not immediately hip to this analogy, allow me to elaborate on the clear similarities between your child and the average Prom queen after her eighth pomegranate appletini. I’ll work from the sober phase to drunk because that’s how I normally do it anyway… stick with me.
Around fourteen or fifteen years of age your kid is basically just a little buzzed and a little stupid, but you can mostly leave them to their own devices without them killing themselves or someone else. I’ll not elaborate because this stage is the most boring. I mean, they’re not funny or cool, and they don’t think you’re funny or cool. You’re basically both just waiting for the kid to graduate and leave the fucking house.
People work together to save a dog
The 4 Deserts Race Series are no joke. These world-class rated races are extremely tough and not for the faint of heart. One race in the series, however, holds a story for more than just the human competitors. In fact, the biggest hero is a tiny, stray dog that surprised everyone.
In March 2016, ultrarunner Dion Leonard ran the 250-kilometer (155 mile) race through China’s Gobi desert. Along with 101 other competitors, he set out on one of the adventures of his lifetime. What he didn’t expect, however, was to come home with a dog!
Little Girl Hugs Her Big Brother Everyday After School