List

THIS Should Be Revisited Once Every Year: Lessons From A Life Lived

May 22, 2013 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Hall Of Fame, List |

lessons from life lived

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3 Comments »

11 Lamest Superhero Powers Of All Time

May 5, 2013 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, List |

12

1. Eating Through Anything – Matter Eater Lad

Alright, so it might be neat to be able to eat anything without consequence — those late night Taco Bell trips would be a lot easier, for one. But when would you ever really have to eat through a wall though? Maybe if you’re a superhero, but it just seems like it’d be a funny thing to watch. Especially when one stops to consider the truism that what must go in must come out. Not to mention, he wasn’t a cannibal — there goes any chance of using his powers to beat up the bad guys.

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3 Comments »

9 Deadly Words Used By Women

January 21, 2013 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Funny Pictures, List |

deadly words used by women

1) Fine 
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes 
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing 
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard beforedeciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This
will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

1 Comment »

Pay Attention Ladies! Here Are The 23 Rules For Dating A Musician

June 28, 2012 | 41 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, List |

rules for dating a musician

1. Don’t try to be the “manager”, do not get involved with band business, that is for the band.

2. Don’t ask his bandmates for relationship advice. 

3. Do Not complain when your (insert holiday here) date gets cancelled because a show has been scheduled. Holidays are no longer yours. Even Valentines Day!

4. ***It’s NOT mandatory that you are at every show.***

5. Do not get jealous when your boyfriend talks to groupies. They are the one’s buying the CDs and merch, not you, so let them have their time. And remember…you get to go home with him!

6. Babies don’t make men quit bands….especially if you were a groupie.

7. No, the band does not want you to go on tour with them. Like your going to sleep in the back of a van and eat ramen for 4 months straight!?

8. Don’t make the following introduction: Hi! I’m _____. My boyfriend is in ______.

9. Don’t follow him around at shows like a lost puppy, he is taking care of business, find your own crowd.

10. Don’t go to band practice (Unless Invited). And it’s normal to have practice more than once a week.

11. Do not assume everyone loves your boyfriend’s band.

12. Don’t make out with other band members girlfriends at the bar. Save that for the after party.

13. Don’t turn yourself into a walking flyer for your boyfriend’s band. The shirt is fine, but must you break out the hat, the hoodie, AND the stickers on your ass?

14. No rumpshaka dances during the show, that is unless your man is in 2 Live Crew.

15. Do not change your style based on the type of band you date. Going from preppy to Nu to hardcore shows you are not your own individual.

16. If he calls while out on the road, don’t complain about when he is coming home. You’re lucky he is using the quarter to call you, instead of buying gas or food.

17. Never say anything negative about your man’s band that you cannot say to him. It will only come back to bite you in the ass.

18. If you’re a stripper, keep work on the pole, not at shows. Not everyone wants to know Victoria’s Secret.

19. Never cause a fight right before your man goes on stage. Relationship problems can be dealt with after the show.

20. If they have a show out of town, don’t drive just so you and your boy can have “alone time”. Because you want to “talk”.

21. Don’t buy your man a new intrument so he and his band mates can match. It’s metal core, not fashion core.

22. You cannot drink on the band’s tab! Buy your own! (also dont get so drunk that you embarrass your boyfriend or his bandmates)

23. Keep the band separate from your everyday life. That’s your boyfriend’s passion, find your own

41 Comments »

5 Pearls Of Scottish Wisdom

February 12, 2012 | No Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, List |

scottish wisdom

1. Money cannot buy happiness but…somehow, it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name.

3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.

No Comments »

36 Undeniable Life Truths

December 24, 2011 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, List |

buddah

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
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3 Comments »

19 Minor, Everyday Victories That Are Way Enjoyable

December 7, 2011 | 6 Comments » | Topics: List |

success

(via)

Whenever I’m waiting for the bus and it stops so that the door is right in front of me.

Getting that popcorn kernel unstuck from in between my gum and tooth.

Go to public bathroom and it’s empty!

When I’m approaching a red light and don’t have to brake before it turns green again.

Being able to carry everything in from the car in one trip, no matter how much stuff

Waking up like 30 seconds before the alarm and shutting it off before it goes off. FCUK YOU ALARM

Getting that elusive front parking space at a mall, grocery store, etc.

Correct change when I buy something.

When there isn’t a random-ass sock left over when I finish laundry!

When something is exactly where I left it two weeks ago when I need it again!

Pressing the elevator button and having it open right there like it was waiting for me

Parallel parking in one swoop, without adjusting. Did this twice today, directly in front of my apartment.

Slipping through a closing door without pushing it open any further, with all the agility of a thousand ninjas.

Getting an eyelash out of my eye.

Taking a huge crap and having it come out as one single, gigantic log, Especially when your first wipe is clean.

When you click the wrong link by mistake, and you manage to click the right one before the page loads.

I absolutely love the feeling when you think you don’t have money on your debit card, but you do.

Popping a zit easily and completely

That feeling you get then you successfully throw a wadded up piece of paper in the trash from a long distance.

6 Comments »

31 Valuable Lessons I Learned From Watching Movies

December 1, 2011 | 13 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, List |

total recall

 

1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.

2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.

5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
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13 Comments »

Top 10 Signs You’re Whipped

August 22, 2011 | 12 Comments » | Topics: List, TRUTH, Writing |

pussy whipped

There comes a time in a man’s life when he should grow up and get serious about a relationship. Maybe that’s true for some, but surely that doesn’t mean you have to submit to the ways of a dominant and controlling woman, does it? You don’t have to cower in the corner with your emasculated tail between your legs. Hell no!

If you’ve ever wondered whether or not you’re one of the many unfortunate suckers out there who’ve joined the ranks of the whipped (and are probably being mocked and ridiculed for it to boot), take a look at this list of top 10 signs you’re whipped; if you recognize any of them, for God’s sake, man up and do something about it.

Number 10
Going for a beer requires permission It’s not just going for a beer that requires her permission, so does every other trivial excursion. In the mind of your power-hungry girlfriend, going for a beer with your friends spells out trouble and, therefore, it’s heavily frowned upon. All of a sudden, you can’t even pop into a pub for a quick one at the end of the day without facing a barrage of harassment when you return home. Subsequently, you’ve stopped doing it to avoid the hassle that, for the record, makes you a spineless pansy. This is a big one boys, but our signs you’re whipped doesn’t end here.

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12 Comments »

14 Things That Never Happen In Real Life

August 1, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Funny Pictures, List |

college freshmen

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1 Comment »