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ShamWow Dude Pulls A Chris Brown On A Hooker

March 30, 2009 | No Comments » | Topics: main |

shamwow hooker

Vince Shlomi, better known as the ShamWow pitchman gave a hooker a piece of his mind, when she bit on his tongue and refused to let go. According to police reports:

According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

I hope he had a few Sham-Wow on hand to soak up blood from the carpet. You don’t want it to cause mold and mildew.

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Chuck Norris’ Toilet Paper

March 19, 2009 | 1 Comment » | Topics: main |

chuck norris toilet paper

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Challenge: Get Through 30 Seconds Of This Video Without Wanting To Strangle The Kid

March 19, 2009 | 1 Comment » | Topics: main |



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Top 10 Most Ineffective Pickup Lines

March 13, 2009 | 1 Comment » | Topics: List, main |

pickup lines

10. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!

9. Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

8. Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?

7. I know I don’t look like much now, but I’m drinking milk.

6. Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

5. You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

4. You make my software turn to hardware!

3. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

2. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in

1. Nice Shoes. Lets Fcuk.

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The 20 Awesomest Photos of Chewbacca

March 13, 2009 | No Comments » | Topics: main |

chewbacca dog

Is there really any other guy in the galaxy that’s as much of a baller as Chewy? C’mon the guy has the hair of Fabio and flies the Millenium Falcon. So, with out further ado, check out the 20 awesomest photos of Chewbacca.

Check out the rest of the 20 Awesomest Pictures Of Chewbacca Here >>

 

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Chuck Norris Wants To Be President Of Texas

March 13, 2009 | No Comments » | Topics: Douchebagery, main |

chuck norris running for texas president

Chuck Norris is leading the movement for states like Texas to “stand and secede” from the “wayward federal government.” and ” may run for president of Texas.” The Star Telegram reports:

Texans might rebel “if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

Quoting Patrick Henry and John Adams, Norris wrote that Congress and the president “stampede” the Constitution in favor of “desires, partisan politics and runaway spending.”

He’s kicking mad that the United States has somehow “bastardized” religious freedom by having a secular government. He quotes a 1776 Adams letter saying that the Constitution works only for “a moral and religious people.”

Norris added that he thinks the Republicans are taking the nation the same direction as the Democrats, “just slower.”

He used the s-word: “Other states might stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it.” He ominously described “thousands of cell groups” ready to join.

Whatever Chuck says, goes! When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

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Cheryl Cole Is Damn Near Perfect

January 14, 2009 | 1 Comment » | Topics: main |

cheryl cole

100 pictures of Cheryl Cole that are damn freaking hot – Dj Mick

The Saddest IMDB Profiles Ever – Celebrity Odor

David Letterman on the Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien Feud – Ned Hardy

January Jones Hung Out In Germany – Don Chavez

Melyssa Grace is an incredibly hot Filipino hottie – Buge Hoobs

This About Sums Up Lady Gaga – Unreality Mag

Christine Hendricks is your hot babe of the day – Big Smudge

Lily Cole for all those redhead lovers – Beer Goggler

Raw Haiti Earthquake Video Shows Buildings Collapse – Knuckles United

Some things are better off left unexplained – Linkiest

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