Long story short – about two years ago, I hated where I was in life. It was the recognition of these three ideas that kept me going and helped me to turn my life around. I should add that these ideas aren’t original, but things that I’ve come across during that time and paraphrased one way or another.
1. The human being is meant to bear the burden of 24 hours — no more, no less. If you live in the future, you will get anxious; if you live in the past, you will get depressed. Twenty four hours is all that you have to live in. Give up all the other burdens to the universe, to god, to your cat, to whatever – but the burdens of the past are not yours. The burdens of the future aren’t yours either. Let them go. The day is your material. It’s what’s in front of you, it’s the only thing that you have the power to change or to shape or to use. It’s your canvas. It’s your material. So use it well.
2. Happiness is not something you can pursue – but instead the byproduct of doing the right thing. We get so tripped up thinking that happiness is an end goal — and then get frustrated when it slips through our fingers. Instead, focus on whatever the right thing is – and happiness will follow. Feel like shit at the end of the day? Maybe it’s because you ate a tub of ice cream for dinner, forgot to call your mom back, blew off homework to play video games, etc. On the surface, those are all things that should make you “happy” – but I’ve found that when I’m feeling most depressed, its usually a factor of actions I either did or (more likely) did not do. If you’re passively waiting for happiness to wash over you like a wave — it’s not going to happen. Instead, take action, do whatever the “right thing” is, and that feeling of warmth and fulfillment will follow of its own accord.
3. The world’s idea of success is total shit. Don’t get sucked into it. On television, on the street, when talking with friends or family – it seems like everyone confuses the concept of rewards with success itself. Whether it’s money, fame, recognition, praise, sex, the rewards are not up to you — they are all dependent on someone else. Instead, think of success as sustained effort of will. It begins and ends with YOU, and no one else. Think of any fantasy or goal you may have — say you’ve always wanted to be a great artist. Imagine it. What does that look like? I guarantee you’re thinking about palling around in paris with beautiful women and having your art work admired in galleries and being given the nobel prize – basically you’re fantasizing about having been a great artist and not actually making the art. That way of thinking can totally mess you up because it once again puts the emphasis on passive recognition over active, sustained effort. The more you shift focus onto your own actions, the more you create sustained effort, and the more likely it is that the rewards will follow.
Lastly, as a bit of an addendum – it’s good to remember the difference between stopping and quitting. This helps me when I’m feeling a bit lost or down on myself — or during those times when I’ve just chucked these three ideas to the wind and sat on the couch all day instead. If you’ve ever strayed from what you feel you were supposed to do or who you were supposed to be – remember that everyone has to stop. Whatever it is we’re doing, whatever our grand ambitions are in life, we stop. We have to stop. We have to take a piss, or go to bed, or go on vacation, or we have a kid and not have much time to ourselves etc. But quitting is stopping without ever beginning again. So as long as you’re here, as long as you’re alive and pulling air through your lungs, you can begin again. And if you begin again, then you haven’t quit. So fucking begin again.
Hope this helps someone out there.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
– Teddy Roosevelt
(via Jocko Willink)
I’d hold you up to say to your mother, “this kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.” And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilige. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that! I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain’t gonna have a life.
– Rocky Balboa
This process changes – and usually improves – the life of every man who even attempts it. Here’s the best part: You can channel that change and focus it on your sex life, if you choose to, and it will get you laid. IF you do it correctly, that is…. and don’t cheat.
Here’s how: you have a primal, almost irresistible urge to procreate. That biological urge, when mixed with your testosterone, is intended to motivate you to jump out of bed in the morning ready to fight and fuk your way through the herd, leaving vanquished foes and satiated hoes in your wake. Unfortunately, our advanced brains and opposable thumbs over time have discovered an almost perfect and flawless cheat: Masturbation. After all, it’s so much easier, so much less of a hassle, to simply cut all the corners, skip through the level, and polish that platinum trophy really fast until the end credits roll.
Here’s where this wonderful thing we’re discovering called NoFap comes in: You, being the horny, over-sexed, perverted woman crazy fiend that you are, have a choice in how you get off.: Your hand or a vagina. You may feel like only one of those choices is viable, but that’s merely because it’s the EASY choice, so it appears to be the preferred one. Guess what: If you actually stop jerking off, and I mean STOP – eliminate it as a possibilty from your life (as I and many others have) – your sex starved brain and testicles will literally lead you out into the world and between the legs of a female. It just HAPPENS. Try it, you numbskull. You’ll see that I speak the truth.
“Be the hero of your own movie. If your life was a movie and it started now. Forget about whatever financial disasters you’ve had, personal failures, relationship failures. What would the hero of your life’s movie do right now? Do that, do those things. We define ourselves far too often by our past failures. We look at our past and we say, “Well that’s me”. That’s not you, you are this person right now. You’re this person right now, you’re the person who’s learned from those failures and you can choose to be the hero of your own movie right now. Write down your goals, write down things you want to improve, write down things you won’t tolerate from yourself, write down things that you’ve done in the past that you never want to see yourself do again. And go forth, from here, as the hero of your own movie. Build momentum. Build confidence and momentum with each good decision that you make from here on out. You can do it, anyone can do it. We live in unique times. We live in one of the rarest times in human history where you can choose almost all the input that comes your way, whether it’s the movie that you watch, the books you read, the podcasts you listen to. You can choose to be inspired. Do that. Do that and be the hero of your own movie.”
– Joe Rogan
Echo Charles : “How do you deal with setbacks, failures, delays, defeats, or other disasters?”
Jocko Willink : “I actually have a fairly, simple way of dealing with these situations. It’s actually one word to deal with these situations…
And that is “Good”.
This is actually something that one of my direct subordinates, that worked for me, pointed out to me. He would call me up, pull me aside with some major problem, some issue that was going on…
He would say “Boss, we have this, and that, and another thing…”
And I would say “Good”.
Finally one day, he was telling me about an issue that he was having, some problem…
He said “I already know what you’re going to say.”
And I said “Well, what am I going to say?”
“You’re going to say ‘Good’. That’s what you always say. When something is wrong and going bad, you always just look at me and say ‘Good’ .”
And I said…
“Well yeah and I mean it.”
And that is how I feel. When things are going bad, there’s going to be some good that is going to come from it…
Oh, the mission got cancelled? — Good…. We can focus on the other one.
Didn’t get the new high speed gear we wanted? — Good…. We can keep it simple.
Didn’t get promoted? — Good…. More time to get better.
Didn’t get funded? — Good…. We own more of the company.
Didn’t get the job you wanted? — Good…. You can get more experience and build a better resume.
Got injured? — Good… Needed a break from training.
Got tapped out? — Good…. It’s better to tap out in training, then tap out in the street.
Got beat? — Good…. You learned.
Unexpected problems? — Good…. We have the opportunity to figure out a solution.
That’s it. When things are going bad, don’t get all bummed out, don’t get startled, don’t get frustrated…. No.
You just look at the issue and you say “Good”.
And I don’t mean to say something all cliché and I don’t mean to sound like “Mr. Positive”. Find the positive, but do that! Focus on the good. Take that issue, take that problem, and make it something good. It’ll bring that attitude to your team too! You go forward.
And lastly, to close this out. If you can say the word “Good”, guess what….it means you’re still alive. It means you’re still breathing. And if you’re still breathing, well then you still got some fight left in you.
So get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, reengage, and go out on the attack!
And that right there is about as Good as it gets. “
"As I gain followers I’ve found it’s important to make sure everyone knows what I am about. People swing by my page for different reasons with different expectations and you’re all welcome. That being said please know, among my others interests and passions, first, foremost and unequivocally I am a bowhunter. I train everyday for one reason, to be the most effective bowhunter I can possibly be. Being “effective” as a bowhunter means when I head out on a hunt, from the plains to the mountains, my goal is to harvest an animal. “Harvest” means kill it with an arrow. So, yes there will be photos of dead animals on this page (from grizzly bear to bull elk), but with the death of my quarry life is sustained and just maybe souls are enriched by this powerful illustration of the circle of life? I know mine is. All the meat from the animals I kill goes to my to freezer and feeds either me, my friends, my family or is donated to a homeless shelter to feed those that need it more than me. And, their antlers, hides and skulls are displayed in my home to honor their life and memory of the hunt. If this makes me a “trophy hunter” so be it. I feel respect for the animals I hunt and I feel empowered and more “alive” than any other time in my life as I roam the country they call home with a bow in my hand and a sharp knife on my belt. If the fact that I am an ethical and merciful hunter and share in my complete journey as a hunter, including the kill and butchering of this beautifully organic harvest, bothers you please leave. If you’re here as a lifelong hunter or a new hunter who like me takes self-sufficient ownership over the death of the animals I eat, welcome."