Man-Up

The Daily Man-Up

June 5, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

Dying was nothing and he had no picture of it nor fear of it in his mind. But living was a field of grain blowing in the wind on the side of a hill. Living was a hawk in the sky. Living was an earthen jar of water in the dust of the threshing with the grain flailed out and the chaff blowing. Living was a horse between your legs and a carbine under one leg and a hill and a valley and a stream with trees along it and the far side of the valley and the hills beyond.

~ Hemingway from For Whom the Bell Tolls

 

We know what living is. We can feel it when we do it. We can taste it, breathe it, love it. We have glimpses of its wonder and fear and brutal reality. We live when we identify our fear rather than ignoring it and walk toward it rather than running from it.

Hellen Keller said that life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.

Daring isn’t meek. It isn’t safe or weak. Daring is audacity. Daring is dangerous and sometimes reckless and oftentimes scary as shit, but it’s backed by courage and forward motion.

Daring doesn’t have to be in an instant, it can be a lifetime pursuit. It can be found in the grit required to endure and outlast, or the balls to stand up, man up, and accept a challenge head on.

Life cannot exist within the confines of a safe existence. Your comfort zones are akin to a slow, painless, and ignorant death. They’re the avoidance of life, not the enjoyment of it.

Dare greatly, please. Dare greatly daily and in the big picture and in the big moments of your life when you can act like a man or shrivel like a coward.

Check out the rest of the article at Average2Alpha

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The Daily Man-Up

June 2, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And those fucks I have not given have made all the difference.

People often say the key to confidence and success in life is to simply “not give a fuck.” Indeed, we often refer to the strongest, most admirable people we know in terms of their lack of fucks given. Like “Oh, look at Susie working weekends again, she doesn’t give a fuck.” Or “Did you hear that Tom called the company president an asshole and still got a raise anyway? Holy shit, that dude does not give a fuck.” Or “Jason got up and ended his date with Cindy after 20 minutes. He said he wasn’t going to listen to her bullshit anymore. Man, that guy does not give a fuck.”

Chances are you know somebody in your life who, at one time or another, did not give a fuck and went on to accomplish amazing feats. Perhaps there was a time in your life where you simply did not give a fuck and excelled to some extraordinary heights. I know for myself, quitting my day job in finance after only six weeks and telling my boss that I was going to start selling dating advice online ranks pretty high up there in my own “didn’t give a fuck” hall of fame. Same with deciding to sell most of my possessions and move to South America. Fucks given? None. Just went and did it.

Now, while not giving a fuck may seem simple on the surface, it’s a whole new bag of burritos under the hood. I don’t even know what that sentence means, but I don’t give a fuck. A bag of burritos sounds awesome, so let’s just go with it.

The point is, most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving too many fucks in situations where fucks do not deserve to be given. We give a fuck about the rude gas station attendant who gave us too many nickels. We give a fuck when a show we liked was canceled on TV. We give a fuck when our coworkers don’t bother asking us about our awesome weekend. We give a fuck when it’s raining and we were supposed to go jogging in the morning.

Fucks given everywhere. Strewn about like seeds in mother-fucking spring time. And for what purpose? For what reason? Convenience? Easy comforts? A pat on the fucking back maybe?

This is the problem, my friend.

Because when we give too many fucks, when we choose to give a fuck about everything, then we feel as though we are perpetually entitled to feel comfortable and happy at all times, that’s when life fucks us.



Check out the rest of the article at Mark Manson

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The Daily Man-Up

June 1, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

Pick an area of your life, perhaps your intimate relationship, your career, your relationship with your children, or your spiritual practice. For instance, you are currently doing something to earn a living.

Where do your fears stop you from making a larger contribution to mankind, from earning a higher income, or from earning money in a more creative and enjoyable way? If you were absolutely fearless, would you be earning a living in exactly the sameway as you are now? Your edge is where you stop short, or where you compromise your fullest gift, and, instead, cater to your fears.

Have you lost touch with the fears that are limiting and shaping your income and style of livelihood? If you have deluded yourself and feel that you are not afraid, then you are lying to yourself.

All men are afraid, unless they are perfectly free. If you cannot admit this, you are pretending to yourself, and to others. Your friends will feel your fear, even if you do not. Thus, they will lose trust in you, knowing you are deluding yourself, lying to yourself, and are therefore likely to lie to them, consciously or unconsciously.

Or, perhaps you are very aware of your fears: your fear to take risks, your fear of failing, or your fear of succeeding. Perhaps you are comfortable with your life, and you fear the lifestyle change that might accompany a change in career, even though the new career will be closer to what you really want to do with your life. Some men fear the feeling of fear and therefore don’t even approach their edge.

They choose a job they know they can do well and easily, and don’t even approach the fullest giving of their gift. Their lives are relatively secure and comfortable, but dead. They lack the aliveness, the depth, and the inspirational energy that is the sign of a man living at his edge. If you are this kind of man who is hanging back, working hard perhaps, but not at your real edge, other men will not be able to trust that you can and will help them live at their edge and give their fullest gift.

As an experiment, describe your edge with respect to your career out loud to yourself. Say something like, "I know I could be earning more money, but I am too lazy to put in the extra hours it would take. I know that I could give more of my true gift, but I am afraid that I may not succeed, and then I will be a penniless failure. I’ve spent 15 years developing my career, and I’m afraid to let go of it and start fresh, even though I know that I spend most of my life doing things I have no real interest in doing. I could be making money in more creative ways, but I spend too much time watching TV rather than being creative."

Honor your edge. Honor your choices. Be honest with yourself about them. Be honest with your friends about them. A fearful man who knows he is fearful is far more trustable than a fearful man who isn’t aware of his fear. And a fearful man who still leans into his fear, living at his edge and putting his gift out from there, is more trustworthy and more inspirational than a fearful man who hangs back in the comfort zone, unwilling to even experience his fear on a day to day level.

A free man is free to acknowledge his fears, without hiding them, or hiding from them. Live with your lips pressed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them.

 

David Deida – The Way Of The Superior Man

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The Daily Man-Up

May 31, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

Let’s set the record straight.

If women always tell you, “You’re a great guy but I don’t feel that spark…”

It’s because they don’t feel a sexual connection with you. And that’s most likely because you haven’t taken the right actions to facilitate that attraction.

You may be sweet and have engaging conversations. You make women laugh. You wait patiently until a girl’s comfortable with you.

That all builds rapport, trust, and comfort within a connection. But that’s rarely enough to have women desire intimacy with you.

I know this as true even without hearing your story. Easily 9 out of 10 times I’ll be right. People try to argue it’s not that cut and dry…but it is. 

Some men stay in denial. They keep trying to “friend” their way into romance and never flirt, often due to the advice of their female friends.

Those guys struggle endlessly to build romantic connections.

Some women say I’m generalizing. They think that I’m ignoring individuality and preferences. They may even take it as a sexist remark.

I fully recognize and respect your uniqueness. I want other men to appreciate that, too.

But I also recognize patterns. So while maybe all you need is a kind guy who listens well for you to like him — you are in the minority.

For thousand of years women have been attracted to guys with certain qualities. They don’t respond to men who lack them. I’ve seen it thousands of times in the last 10 years.

These qualities tend to be: assertiveness, grit, sexuality, and confidence.

The majority of women select men based on these qualities. It’s hardwired into biology.

Attraction is an emotional response. Women have to FEEL the qualities that turn them on to a man.

If a guy has massive amounts of PASSIVE attractiveness like physical looks, wealth, power, or social status — that can showcase those desireable qualities in itself. Most men, though, need to demonstrate ACTIVE attractiveness to jumpstart their connections.

In the animal kingdom, almost every species has a courtship ritual in which males show their best selves to the females.

Check out the rest of the article at Nick Notas

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The Daily Man-Up

May 30, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

Developing mental toughness isn’t just about being resilient. It’s also about learning to access your reserve tank when you think you just can’t go any further.

We all think we know our limits. Whether you’re exercising, studying, or just trying to break a bad habit, there’s always that moment when you feel like tapping out. To get past that point, Jesse Itzler at Big Think explains a perspective-altering rule he learned from a Navy SEAL who came to live with for a month:

“The first day that “SEAL” came to live with me he asked me to do — he said how many pull-ups can you do?

I did about eight.

And he said all right. Take 30 seconds and do it again. So 30 seconds later I got up on the bar and I did six, struggling. And he said all right, one more time. We waited 30 seconds and I barely got three or four and I was done. I mean couldn’t move my arms done. And he said all right. We’re not leaving here until you do 100 more. And I thought there’s no — well we’re going to be here for quite a long time because there’s no way that I could do 100. But I ended up doing it one at a time and he showed me, proved to me right there that there was so much more, we’re all capable of so much more than we think we are. And it was just a great lesson.”

You are more capable than you realize, but you have to fight off the mental blocks you’ve established over the years. You can run farther, you can learn more, and you can resist your vices longer. The next time you feel like giving up, remember, you’ve still got 60 percent left.

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The Daily Man-Up

May 26, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

In our society we’re blending the genders.

We’re trying to make equity (where everything is the same) where what most of us would like is equality of opportunity, or even better, merit.

Here’s the reality:

Most women are feminine.

Most men are masculine.

An even greater reality is that most men want to be more masculine, they’ve just never been taught or told how to be.

And if they have been shown how to be a man, it may have been by a web site pushing pick up lines or men’s fashion – ie. tricks and aesthetics, which is almost the exact opposite of what true masculinity is.

In other corners of society (and the internet) men are told to be ashamed of their masculine traits, as if they should be sorry for their strength or aggression or assertive attitude.

Neither are good for men and neither are good for society.

We need masculine, strong, assertive, warriors leading our households and our communities, and this guiding away from said virtues begins in grade school where our way of educating is feminine, it’s tailored to the wonderful girls we’re raising, but not the boys.

I remember being in school. Half the time I was looking outside. Sometimes I’d even get up and go outside in the middle of class just to get out of the sedated atmosphere of the classroom.

As a result, we have generations of young men and boys who’ve been either told that the masculine is wrong, that their natural inquisitions aren’t right, or that they should aspire to be something, to live a form of masculine that’s just weak, pussified, vain and even evil.

We have young men that think being with a woman is purely about sex. Of course it’s a big part of it, but the masculine and the feminine in a relationship is a part of why we’re here. It’s the yin and the yang, the lock and key.

To make it work as well as it should, we need to be men.

Check out the rest of the article at Average2Alpha

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The Daily Man-Up

May 25, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

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The Daily Man-Up

May 24, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

All of us have goals.

There’s something we want to do, someplace we want to go, someone we want to be. It appears that we don’t intentionally plan to be stagnant.

But are you progressing towards your intended destination? Or are you drifting away unknowingly?

Most of us are terrible at assessing our current progress. That’s okay, because in reality not everything is measurable. Objective metrics are difficult to come across for every situation, and often inconvenient.

The problem is that we consciously choose not to take action despite being fully in control of our situation. We take the path of least resistance because we’re programmed that way. We avoid pain and maximise pleasure, to our detriment.

Fog Of War

One of the reasons why we don’t do what’s best for us is because we don’t immediately feel the consequences of our actions. It’s a common occurrence: pleasure in the present becomes pain in the future.

Consider how most people gain weight. Ice cream in the present seems fine because you’re not overweight. It makes sense then, that you have allowance for the occasional treat. But over time, this additional treat becomes a caloric surplus that leads to weight gain.

That’s why fitness experts recommend calorie tracking when the aim is to lose or maintain weight. But life doesn’t work like that. It’s not possible to always measure the impacts of your actions. Once you’ve set into motion a series of events, it becomes impossible to immediately stop the effects from coming into play. You can mitigate it and prevent that from happening in the future, but you can’t retract what you’ve done.

We judge ourselves and base our actions based on the present, but we should really be looking at the future. At any time, our life is on a trajectory that is trending either upwards or downwards — you are the one who decides where that goes.

Check out the rest of the article at The Mission

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