Man-Up

The Daily Man-Up: Instead of Saying “I Don’t Have Time,” Say “It’s Not a Priority”

February 15, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @tcrawlers)

Regardless of where you live, how many resources you have access to, or which talents you possess, you have 24 hours in a day–just like everybody else. We lead busy lives and use our limited time as an excuse to procrastinate and avoid getting things done, but often claiming we don’t have time is a lie. It’s a lie we tell others and ourselves. It helps us believe we’ll never get anything done, and this is a problem. Fortunately, the solution might be as simple as changing your language

Wall Street Journal writer Laura Vanderkam explains:

Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.

It’s a simple idea, and a great one. Our language is often used to provide a polite answer when the truth might be hard to hear. Sometimes we even subject ourselves to more polite language and end up in situations like this one. How you use your time is very important. It’s a limited resource and shouldn’t be wasted. Don’t risk putting it to poor use by failing to be honest with yourself and others about your priorities in life. Alter your language and you may just discover what’s most important.

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The Daily Man-Up: Maintain Your Relationship By Treating It Like a Bank Account

February 14, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating, Man-Up |

In the first few years of a relationship, you and your beloved’s brains are bathed with a heady cocktail of chemicals that make you feel positively high for each other. And you can’t imagine ever feeling differently. Those middle-aged couples who sit silently staring at each other at restaurants? That will never be you two. Those friends you know going through an acrimonious divorce? No way you’ll ever find yourself in their shoes. You guys are different. Your relationship is surely above average. You’re destined to beat the odds in every way.

You get married and several more years go by. You argue more and have sex a lot less. You don’t feel as close, and sometimes you do stare at each other silently while digging into a Moons Over My Hammy. You’re not unhappy, per se, but you’re not really happy, either. You kind of feel like platonic roommates who enjoy each other’s company; you get along alright, but there’s a lack of depth, richness, and ardor to your relationship. The old spark is gone.

While the arc of this common story might seem like an inevitability, it’s not. Research shows that romantic love can last. You can beat the odds.

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The Daily Man-Up: 6 Reasons Why Women Always See You As Just a Friend

February 13, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating, Man-Up |

(photo: @freestocks)

Let’s set the record straight.

If women always tell you, “You’re a great guy but I don’t feel that spark…”

It’s because they don’t feel a sexual connection with you. And that’s most likely because you haven’t taken the right actions to facilitate that attraction.

You may be sweet and have engaging conversations. You make women laugh. You wait patiently until a girl’s comfortable with you.

That all builds rapport, trust, and comfort within a connection. But that’s rarely enough to have women desire intimacy with you.

I know this as true even without hearing your story. Easily 9 out of 10 times I’ll be right. People try to argue it’s not that cut and dry…but it is. 

Some men stay in denial. They keep trying to “friend” their way into romance and never flirt, often due to the advice of their female friends.

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The Daily Man-Up: Comfort Zones

February 12, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @johnnyabroad)

Let’s be real: it’s actually pretty nice, right, to just do the same things day in, day out?

It lets you be in your safe little comfort zone and you don’t have to experience anything that would possibly make you feel bad.

Why would you not watch Netflix for hours, instead of going out and talking to a bunch of women/men and potentially get rejected? Or apply for that one job you’d love but instead just sit around at that dead-end job you’ve not been enjoying for a lot of time, just because you might get rejected?

Rejection sounds awful, painful, something that has a bad vibe to it in any way, shape or form.

But let me tell you: rejection and failing are the only way to ever move forward. To be able to improve yourself in a way that you have never improved yourself before.

Because while you are laying on your bed, watching episode number 9 of that show you enjoy so much while feeling extremely bad about yourself for nothing doing anything worthwhile, here’s the one question you should ask yourself: “Am I truly doing the thing that I believe I should be doing?”

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The Daily Man-Up: Practice Choosing Discomfort

February 11, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @anniespratt)

Practice choosing discomfort.

Our choice is between doing an uncomfortable thing now or having greater discomfort thrust upon us later. Because we procrastinators suck at choosing the lesser discomfort now, we effectively are choosing greater discomfort at times that are out of our control.

Making that choice is a skill. It has to be practiced to be developed. You can’t just start doing it easily today just like you can’t just start doing anything that requires skill.

A month of cold showers is an excellent way to get practice at choosing discomfort, btw. It’s easy to do. You’re (presumably) going to be taking showers anyway, so it’s just a miniscule modification to your daily activities.

All it takes is a single moment of strength to put yourself into the water. It’s one big rep for your discipline muscle every day.

To get the most out of it, focus on the negative feelings you experience while making the choice to get into the cold shower. Those feelings that are crying for you to avoid the discomfort are the same feelings that keep you from doing your work when you should. Those feelings are your enemy, and to defeat them you must be conscious of them. Feel them, observe them, hold them in place, and eventually you can control them.

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The Daily Man-Up: Living an Extraordinary Life Means Giving Up a Normal One

February 8, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @withluke)

“If you want to live an exceptional and extraordinary life, you have to give up many of the things that are part of a normal one.” -Srinivas Rao

The larger mob of society will never experience true success.

Why?

Because this majority is unwilling to become the CEO of their life — they’d rather someone else call the shots.

They are unwilling to take risks, to fail publicly, and be forced to try again after getting knocked down.

They are unwilling to sacrifice what is good for what is great.

In short, they are unwilling to give up their “normal” life.

But this is what is required to live an extraordinary life. You must give up the “normal” life for something far more valuable.

Evolving is painful.

The more you evolve into the best version of yourself, the more you’ll be required to give up. You’ll reach a point where you’ll no longer be able to tolerate negative relationships. Eating bad food. Spending your time on time-wasting activities.

Giving these things up is painful. Most people aren’t willing to do what needs to be done.

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The Daily Man-Up: It’s Never Too Late

February 7, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @theexplorerdad)

We tend to see life in sections rather than a continuous journey. We box it up and stack its sections in an order that’s almost taboo to break.

We set targets by age, and once past a specific age, we convince ourselves that the target has been missed and the opportunity squandered.

“Oh, I’m too old for all that”.

“I can’t go back to study now”.

“Concerts are for young people”.

“I’d love to have travelled when I was younger”.

“I love it, but I’d feel silly wearing It”.

“People will think I’m crazy”.

We are pre-programmed with societal restrictions that dictate when we can and can’t do things. We then end up judging others by what they are doing at a particular age, using their decisions, hobbies, musical tastes, dress sense, possessions and other defining factors as ways to sum up their achievements, and ultimately their level of happiness.

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The Daily Man-Up

February 6, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: Eyüp Belen)

But there’s patience, and there’s patience. I’ll explain:

When launching into a new project, such as regular fitness, a diet, or start-up, many of us approach it with a beginner’s frame of mind where we subtly assume that if we can just get through the first month or so, then we’ll make it to the goal, and it will get easy from there.

So in other words, we see consistent self-discipline as a hustle toward some end-point after which our dreams come true and everything is gravy. From there we set a new goal and repeat.

This is true to some extent, but not totally. When we start a new habit, the new habit isn’t something we’re ‘getting through’ … it’s our life now. This is it. This is the experience of being YOU now. That feeling when your body has less sugar than it’s used to? Or the feeling of getting out of bed at 6am? This is your life now.

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The Daily Man-Up

February 5, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

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The Daily Man-Up: It Is Not What Happens To You It Is How You Respond To It

February 4, 2019 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @bendavisual)

Many people blame their circumstances for their shortcomings and as a result accept the harsh reality of their situation. These people believe an event is equivalent to its outcome; however, for the truly remarkable person, adversity is where they thrive.

What allows these people to succeed? They realize it is not what has happened to them in their lives, but the manner in which they react to these events. The way a person decides to respond to certain occurrences is what will shape his or her feelings, actions and results. It all lies within ourselves to be successful in life or not.

We can choose to live the life we want, no matter how tough it can get. It is all a matter of mentality, only we will prevent ourselves from achieving greatness. The rest are just small detours before we reach our destinations.

“I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” -Walter Anderson

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