Man-Up

The Daily Man-Up

April 23, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @jackcain_)

We do not admire the man of timid peace. We admire the man who embodies victorious effort; the man who never wrongs his neighbor, who is prompt to help a friend, but who has those virile qualities necessary to win in the stern strife of actual life. –Theodore Roosevelt

To win in the stern strife of actual life.

Life is hard. Being an ambitious man makes it even more difficult. The higher you aim, the greater your trials will be but simply by setting out in a more audacious fashion you become the man worthy of the grand dream you’re chasing.

Be the guy not soft and timid, shying away from that call of the wild. Be the man marching to a different tune, not one of quiet mediocrity, but of ‘victorious effort’, and be a good man while you’re doing it.

This is who we respect. This is who we want to be around and who we want to emulate. This is the guy that inspires others while taking care of even more.

He doesn’t shy away from the harshness nor the brutality of life, nor does he complain that it is so. He doesn’t look at the lives of others with envy because of their ease. Comparisons don’t make their way into his head. He doesn’t get jealous nor envious nor does he resent those he helps because he’s always helping them.

He knows his role in life and he doesn’t bitch or wine about it. More than that, he goes about it in an aggressive manner. He hunts down life. He makes life his bitch rather than being a victim to its whims.

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The Daily Man-Up

April 20, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @mikamatin)

No one gets through life unscathed. And while it is 0% your fault that these things happen to you, it is 100% your responsibility to deal with the aftermath of what your situation has given to you.

I had one client a few years ago who blamed all of his life’s shortcomings on the fact that his father had been largely absent during his childhood.

Having emotionally unavailable parents is a hinderance, no doubt. So is having one of your best friends die. So is being raped. So is being bullied for years. So are a lot of things that happen to people, every day, around the world.

At a certain point in our working relationship, I had to tell him that the pain that he felt on account of his dad not being around was real, but the fact that he was still blaming his father for all of his life’s shortcomings more than thirty years later wasn’t helping him.

When we blame other people for aspects of our lives, we shrug off the tough work of taking responsibility for ourselves.

I’ll say that again…

If you’re blaming others, you’re avoiding responsibility in your life.

Take back your power by forgiving the people you have felt victimized by, and get on with your life.

No one is coming to save you. At a certain point in your journey, you have to pick yourself up by your socks and tell yourself, “How my life goes is up to me. I’m going to become a bigger person now, and stop copping out by blaming other people for my life’s circumstances.”

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The Daily Man-Up

April 19, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @hermez777)

Pain and discomfort are the gatekeepers of success.

They are the guardians of becoming extraordinary. No one enters without meeting — and trading punches — with them first.

Most people see these burly warriors and promptly turn the other way, hoping they were unseen. Most people avoid pain, and try to get through life without ever being unfortunate enough to meet it.

Sadly, this lifestyle actually costs far more energy, time, and effort than just getting on with it. Like avoiding the needle at the doctor, we get sicker and sicker as we avoid the very thing we most need.

“When uncomfortable, my instinct is not to avoid the discomfort but to become at peace with it. My instinct is always to seek out challenges and opposed to avoiding them.” -Josh Waitzkin, world champion chess player

No one becomes extraordinary or achieves true success without overcoming some serious pain.

Pain creates us. It reveals us. It is the fire that hardens us, the crushing pressure that chews up us lumpy pieces of coal and spits out brilliant diamonds.

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The Daily Man-Up

April 18, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @kfred)

Sometimes we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone, but we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try.  The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections.  When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.

There is no need to put on a mask.  There is no need to pretend to be someone you’re not.  You have nothing to prove to anyone else, because…

No one else really knows what’s best for YOU.

Don’t lose yourself in your search for acceptance by others.  Walk your path confidently and don’t expect anyone else to understand your journey, especially if they have not been exactly where you are going.  You have to take the steps  that are right for you; no one else walks in your shoes.

Let others take you as you are, or not at all.  Speak your truth even if your voice shakes.  By being true to yourself, you put something breathtaking into the world that was not there before.  You are stunning when your passion and strength shines through as you follow your own path – when you aren’t distracted by the opinions of others.  You are powerful when you let your mistakes educate you, and your confidence builds from firsthand experiences – when you know you can fall down, pick yourself up, and move forward without asking for anyone else’s permission. 

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The Daily Man-Up

April 17, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @chesterwade)

You are responsible for your life. No one holds a gun to your head and makes you work anywhere. You don’t like it, find another job. You hate your life, move somewhere else and start over. Even the things we cannot control, like, say, cancer, we do decide how to respond. Either we will fight it or not. Every bill you have, you chose that. You signed up, you signed the lease, you requested the service, etc. You are not a victim. In the cases where you ARE a victim, you decide how to respond. Do you press charges? Do you carry a grudge? Do you seek revenge? Do you forgive? You are in control of your life.

– Oregonguy1954

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The Daily Man-Up

April 16, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @allexx54)

As a long-term strategy, comfort is unsafe.

Regardless of what you know or read, everybody wants growth — the ability to consistently improve to be better and smarter.

The comfort zone, as defined by Lifehacker, is a “behavioral space where your activities and behaviors fit a routine and pattern that minimizes stress and risk”

Growth requires discomfort. If you stick with what is comfortable, you’re giving up any hope of surprising yourself, of finding greatness, of having the best experiences human life has to offer.

Comfort will never give you that. To a growth-committed person, comfort is just a place to retreat to momentarily while you get ready to push again.

T. Harv Eker said“Nobody ever died of discomfort, yet living in the name of comfort has killed more ideas, more opportunities, more actions, and more growth thaneverything else combined. Comfort kills!”

As a habit, comfort will get you to roughly the same place you were when you decided to get comfortable, just older.

Growth begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Comfort kills creativity and productivity. Your body and mind crave easy routines. We naturally gravitate towards our safe zones. But your growth depends on discomfort. It pays to explore new routines, paths, ideas, disciplines and new ways to be better at what you do.

Left unchecked, we always default toward a more comfortable path. Your comfortable zone provides a state of mental security. You can understand why it’s so hard to kick your brain out of your comfort zone.

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The Daily Man-Up

April 13, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @joshuaearle)

A dream is just a dream, with no more attachement to reality than a fantasy; but when a dream is connected to an intelligently crafted plan, and you have the discipline to stay the course with that plan and the wisdom to know when to modify and adapt it in the face of changing circumstances – then that dream can become reality.

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The Daily Man-Up

April 12, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @ayahya09)

To the procrastinator, starting a task feels always feels dangerous, because it’s the first moment you can be exposed as a hack or a fool. You can ponder, plan, and envision a task indefinitely, while enjoying a certain sense of safety. But the moment of actually starting brings real-world dangers into the picture: failure, ridicule, complications, and maybe the discovery of a new, deeper level to your ineptitude.

So before you start, you look for a little more assurance that things will go well for you. This inevitably leads to more planning, more thinking, perhaps some flow-charting of possibilities (either mentally or on paper), maybe some haphazard web research. One reliable standby is a thorough round of house cleaning, in order to clarify the mind. Or why not a spa day, to rejuvenate?

How prepared do you need to feel? It’s hard to say, but it’s always a little more than you feel now.

Confidence is helpful for any task, but in reality there’s little you can do to create it before starting. Once you actually start the task itself, things begin to fall into order. You quickly discover where the real effort is required, what’s surprisingly easy, and what possibilities you can ignore. The tendrils of the flowchart fall away. You just do the next thing.

Almost magically, the task shrinks before you, because it’s no longer composed entirely of your imagination. Only then, when some of the reality of the task is behind you, does confidence make its first appearance.

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The Daily Man-Up

April 11, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

11 Signs That Your Girlfriend Might Be Cheating On You

Remember when you were young and you thought love was this invincible, bulletproof force that was immune to outside influence, impervious to evil and capable of overcoming all obstacles? And, then you found out your girlfriend was sleeping with your best friend since a week after you met, and that bubble was ruptured, never to be restored again. 

Sorry. Maybe we got a little personal on that one. Maybe, you’re one of the lucky few who remains a fool for love, and the wool has yet to wear away before your eyes. We hate to single-handedly destroy your remaining naivete, but women do cheat. Thankfully, more often than not, these kind of things don’t often happen without some sort of warning. Or in some cases, many. Here are intimations of infidelity that should tentatively raise flags:

Your Intuition

 Your gut feeling may also be an indicator that something is wrong somewhere. If you have worked on overcoming your jealousy but still feel something is not right and have that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach or you find yourself looking for excuses for your partner’s behaviour-then pay close attention to other things on these signs of cheating spouse for a recurring pattern. Pay close attention to the signs and your instinct but make sure you don’t confuse signs with proof.  

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The Daily Man-Up

April 10, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @iamrobotboy)

The warrior sees the opportunity in the challenge; the coward sees the curse.

There are problem-solvers and complainers. They’re both looking at the same thing, but only one will ever find a solution. Only one will rise to the challenge. The other is relegated to being the victim to the circumstance that both are staring right in the face.

There are thousands of problems that you will face in your life. Some problems can come out of nowhere as if they’ve been thrown into your life as some sort of punishment from the heavens. You can give into the desire to curse the event, curse your Maker, curse the universe for sending this bloody awful situation into existence for no apparent reason, or you can create a reason by seeing the challenge that lies in front of you.

The concentration camps of the Second World War were not logical or warranted challenges. If anything could be viewed as a curse it they would be it. The Jews who were thrown into these death camps did nothing to deserve them as they walked to their death in chambers of gas, being separated from their families, from their wives and children and forced to live with no dignity, no hope, and no end in sight.

Yet, some chose to find the meaning amidst the suffering, and according the Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist, psychologist, and Holocaust survivor, it was these men who survived and even thrived within the most horrendous circumstances that man can be placed in.

It’s those who took control of their thoughts, the warriors, that lived to see the end of the war and their eventual freedom if they were of the few who weren’t killed. Others, men who were just as strong or sometimes stronger physically when they arrived at the camp, chose to see the horror, the futility in doing anything but giving up, wasted away and died or went mad.

Thus, there is no circumstance in life that you hold no control over because, though you may have started out impoverished, in a shitty home with no prospects and a myriad of excuses to give up, to live a life of crime, a life sucking the tit of the state, you still have control over how you react, how you think, what you do with what you have and it’s this control that gives you the freedom to rise from anything.

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