Movies

The Vice Guide To North Korea

December 19, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Movies |



Kim Jong Il is dead and hopefully that opens up the border for eager tourist like me, who want to wander through the totalitarian controlled state of despair and non-hope. While I wait to get my visa approved, the folks over at Vice Magazinehave already ventured into this nether region and shot an insanely intresting documentary which unfurls the curtains on the most secretive country in the world. Enjoy.

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Leon: The Professional in its entirety because it is one of the greatest movies ever made and your life will become exponentially better having watched it

December 14, 2011 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Movies |

I have long thought that owning films on DVD or video is a waste of money – you watch them once and after that they are left to fester at the back of a cupboard. Occasionally I make an exception – some films simply cannot be fully appreciated on just one viewing. Every time I watch Leon is as gripping and enjoyable as the first. Sad, funny, violent, incredibly touching – few films manage to tick all the boxes and even fewer are about hitmen. On IMDb’s list of top 250 movies Leon is currently number 47, and my number one. There may be movies produced with a bigger budget, more special effects, and ‘big named’ actors (read overpriced scientologists) but Luc Besson created his muse and my passion with this movie. This movie has so many levels to it any description doesn’t do it justice. The juxtapositions of what assassins should be concerned with, what little girls should be protected from, what evil men do to create chaos in this world, . . . Too many well-thought out interactions between characters to do the film justice with descriptive words. If you do not experience vile anger, compassion for killers, heart-felt paternal wishes to whisk this child from adult evil or the need to cheer ruthless revenge without guilt, then you are simply not human. The depth and presentation of these characters by excellent, superb acting is only overshadowed by the writing of this masterpiece. Turn off the X-box, click off Facebook and just relish in the next 2 uninterrupted hours of movie making at its best.

 

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Holy Shieeeeeet! It’s The Trailer For The Three Stoogers Movie…Yay Or Nay?

December 8, 2011 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Movies |

A lot of people are giving it shiet and want to burn the Farrelly Brothers on a stick for even trying to touch the Three Stooges, but out of respect for Moe, Larry And Curly, I’ll hold my judgement until after I torrent and view the movie.

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Insanely Interesting Documentary Of The Day: Russia’s Toughest Prison

November 15, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Movies |

If you don’t have an hour to spare to watch this documentary, I suggest you skip it altogether because the moment you step into it’s confines, you’ll be automatically hooked by its tendrils and before you know it, an hour will have passed and you will have missed out on that appointment you were schedule to go to.

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F**K Mondays!

November 7, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Movies |

Let me first start off and say, FCUK MONDAYS! Fcuk everything about it. As the soul sucking knowledge, that 40 more hours of mind numbing work creeps into the consciousness of each and every hard working individual, lets all take solace in the memories of the debauchery laden weekend. The memories of all the beers that were shotgunned, the memories of all the unnecessary shots that were taken. The memories of all the women who had a hard time saying no after jello shots were introduced into the equation. All these memories will cushion the blow of the next 5 days and help us manage our sanity until the next weekend. Until then, Happy Monday everybody!

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I’m Still In Halloween Mode: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre(1974) In Its Entirety

November 1, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Movies |

First, the movie. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is probably one of the scariest movies ever made. It was unique for its time, and there’s still nothing quite like it today. The plot doesn’t sound like much- 2 women and 3 men make a drive to rural Texas to check out a graveyard that has been ‘defiled’, and to also relax and enjoy themselves. This last part of their vacation plan doesn’t go real smoothly, as they make the mistake of wandering into an area where an insane, backwoods, inbred, cannibalistic sociopathic family live. Things get more and more horrifying from there. The film builds up suspense like no other and when the murders do actually happen they are not ruined, like many other horrors, by almost comical deaths, they are nasty! This film is gritty and raw, with documentary like visuals which only add further to the sense of fear which you can almost smell. The acting is brilliant, its laid back yet energetic at the same time. Never have I seen fear portrayed as realistically as Marilyn Burns haunting display in this movie (but then again I never looked at myself in the mirror while watching the film). All of the factors in this film mix to make an evil couldron of depravity, that’ll make you too afraid to look but even more scared when you close your eyes. This film is the freakiest i’ve ever seen and to say i enjoyed it seems kind’a sick as the killings are so realistic and depraved, but there’s no denying it, I loved it and you will too.

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A Collection Of Cinemagraphs From My Favorite Movies

October 18, 2011 | 6 Comments » | Topics: GIFs, Movies |

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Documentary You Should Watch Of The Day: The Ultimate Gracie

September 29, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Movies, Sports |

If you’re a fan of UFC, jiu jitsu and everything in-between, you definitely need to set apart 60 minutes of uninterrupted free time and watch this documentary about Royce Gracie. I watch the whole damn thing, without once switching to Facebook or pron. That’s how damn good it is. Enjoy.

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One Of The Greatest Movies Ever Made

September 12, 2011 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Movies |

commando

Did it ever happen in your life that you’ve seen such a beautiful movie, such a perfect piece of art, such an unbelievable example of man-made splendor, such a gorgeous masterpiece that it hurt your eyes? Well, I did. And it wasn’t the Schindler’s List or the Lord of the Rings. No, it was the BEST action movie ever made. The BEST interpretation of the Governator. The BEST explosions. The BEST one-liners. The BEST plot. And the BEST tag-line. This movie is like the Art of Japanese gardening. Simple and beautiful. Balanced. Proportioned. There’s just the right amount of everything. And there is just about everything that should go into an action movie: car chases, explosions, drug-lords, sex, an invincible hero, sitting-duck-like enemies, humor, knife duels, fist fights, rocket launchers, blood, death, bullets, glass, pectorals, muscles, some more muscles, explosions and more explosions. You need more? It’s got Arnold. Need more? It’s got Arnold with a sense of humor. Still more? It’s got Arnold with a sense of humor and a rocket launcher. Put these three elements together and try to guess what happens. Destruction. On a mass scale. I won’t give away the plot, because it is too intricate and surprising. Basically it is Arnie on a mission to save his daughter. That’s about it. But what is important is not the fact that Arnie will save his daughter, but HOW will he save his daughter. Oh, are you saying that The Matrix is the best action movie of all time? Does The Matrix have Arnold Schwarzenegger? NO. Does Commando have the Matrix? YES. JOHN MATRIX, in fact. Oh, so you are saying that Neo dodges bullets? John Matrix doesn’t need to. He is bulletproof. He eats bullets for breakfast. Need more proof? I thought so… I gave this Caravaggio painted on celluloid a 10 only because IMDb doesn’t go to 11. This movie is so eye-blindingly beautiful I can’t find the words to properly end my commentary and render justice to this cinematic masterpiece. So I will just use the movie’s tag-line: Somewhere… somehow… someone’s going to pay!

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Documentary You Should Watch Of The Day: Bulletproof Salesman

September 9, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Movies |

bulletproof salesman

If you got some time to spare before you go out and get thrased tonight, I suggest you watch this insanely interesting documentary called Bulletproof Salesman(which I so generously posted below). It’s about this dude who goes into war zones and sells armored vehicles to whomever might be in need of a automobile that is resistant to heavy artillery, IED’s, bombs, grenades, rocket launchers and all that other good stuff war is good at bringing about. If you want to get into the ethics of the movie, a reviewer on IMDB is more adept at providing that piece of insight:

It is a troubling film about a man who makes it his business to make money as a war profiteer and is proud of it. German war profiteer Fidelis Cloer clearly enjoys his work selling armored cars in Iraq and Afghanistan. He is a microcosm of the capitalist system. He exists to make money and war is simply an extension of business to him. He wants to make the best product and sell it and thus protect his clients. He doesn’t seem to care that his products are used as part of a war machine. He seems to have no political conscience or concern. He went to Iraq at the beginning of the war in 2003, because he believed things would get worse and there would be an opportunity to profit.

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