Story

Neo-Nazi Furries Are Now A Thing

November 28, 2017 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Story, WTF |

2 Comments »

19 Year Old Model Sells Her Virginity To Arab Businessman For Nearly $3 Million

November 27, 2017 | 7 Comments » | Topics: Story |

An American woman has just become a millionaire after selling her virginity online to the highest bidder in a controversial auction.

Giselle is a 19-year-old American model who put her virginity for sale on the website cinderella-escorts.com.

The websites specialises in ‘International High-Class Escorts’. The website also has a section where women can sell their virginity to the highest bidder.

The website reports that the highest bidder was a businessman from Abu Dhabi of €2.5 million ($2.95 million). This was then followed by a Hollywood actor then a Russian politician.

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UCLA Freshmen Gets Insane List Of Demands From Psycho Roommate She Hasn’t Even Met Yet

September 19, 2016 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Story |

Starting college can be stressful enough without a crazy roommate. Unfortunately for a couple of incoming UCLA freshmen, a series of ridiculously demanding emails from their new dorm mate seem to suggest that they didn’t get so lucky when it came to room assignments.

Winnie Chen and Gustinna Tun are prepared to start the school year, but weeks before they move in, the two girls received a series of emails from their third roommate. The first email was a simple request for the three girls to chat about move-in day. But when Chen and Tun didn’t respond within 48 hours, the roommate, called Ashly on Tun’s email, replies with the following:

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Morning Reading Of The Day: The Egg

September 8, 2016 | No Comments » | Topics: Story |

the egg andy weir

The Egg

By: Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

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Man Shoots Three Women After They Refused To Sing ‘Happy Birthday’ To His Girlfriend

December 4, 2015 | No Comments » | Topics: Story, WTF |

A man has been sentenced to 27 years in prison for shooting and killing three people who refused to sing “Happy Birthday.”

According to the Huffington Post, 20-year-old Delonte Thomas opened fire at a birthday party in Minneapolis, Minnesota, last July. The party was being held in celebration of an unnamed person who happened to share the same birth date as the girlfriend of Delonte Thomas. After party guests sang “Happy Birthday” to the guest of honor, Thomas demanded they sing another “Happy Birthday” rendition for his date. Nobody obeyed the request, which infuriated Delonte Thomas to the point of leaving the party and returning 20 minutes later with a semi-automatic handgun.

Three of the party guests were shot in the attack. Nobody was fatally wounded, which is amazing considering the number of times Delonte Thomas shot each of the party guests.

Thomas reportedly singled out one woman who outwardly objected to the idea of singing “Happy Birthday.” He shot her a total of nine times. Two other party guests were shot eight times each, but incredibly all three recovered from their injuries after surgery. One of the bullets went straight through a victim’s chest.

Officials reported on Monday that Delonte Thomas would be sentenced to 27 years in prison for the violent outburst, all over the song “Happy Birthday.” He was convicted of three counts of attempted murder.

Strangely, Delonte Thomas claimed in court he was playing the role of “peacemaker” after the “Happy Birthday” incident, but also said he doesn’t even remember the shooting.

“Everybody makes mistakes, and everybody deserves a second chance,” said Delonte Thomas. “I’m the peacemaker, I’m the one to try my best to make it through a situation. I don’t recall having a gun. I don’t recall shooting (anybody). I just hope to get some type of mercy here.”

There was quite a bit of debate over the sentence of Delonte Thomas. His defense attorney tried to reduce the term to 16 years, while the prosecution argued for each of the attempted murder charges to be served consecutively — totaling more than 40 years behind bars. According to the Hennepin County District Attorney, the judge decided to compromise on the “Happy Birthday” shooting and sentenced the 20-year-old to slightly over 27 years.

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You Could Use Another Hilarious Poop Story In Your Life

May 19, 2015 | No Comments » | Topics: Story |

virgin poop story

When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.

I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shiet to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn’t aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.

Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed. I walk in to a candle holocaust. She’s been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool.

Now I’m sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks. Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But somehow I still get hard and we go to town. She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can’t stop moaning and telling me how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear “I want to make you cum in my mouth.” I fu*king love women.

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say “tell me if you like this”. Then I feel it.

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An Airline Passenger Took A Dump So Foul They Had To Make An Emergency Landing

May 19, 2015 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Story |

plane forced to land because someone took a dump so foul

TelegraphA British Airways flight to Dubai was forced to return to Heathrow Airport when a “smelly poo in the toilet” became unbearable for passengers.

The pilot announced that the long haul flight had to be aborted, after cabin crew were unable to prevent the pungent odour emanating from an overflowing toilet.

Around 30 minutes in the seven-hour flight, the plane returned to London amid health and safety concerns.

Hertsmere councillor Abhishek Sachdev, who represents Potters Bar Parkfield was on the plane and said it was “insane” that passengers had to wait 15 hours for another flight due to a “smelly poo in the toilet”.

He told Mail Online: “The pilot made an announcement requesting senior cabin crew, and we knew something was a bit odd. “About 10 minutes later he said you may have noticed there’s a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets.”

Mr Sachdev, who was not seated near the toilet in question, said: “He said it was liquid faecal excrement, those are the words he used. “He said it’s not a technical fault with the plane, and he was very adamant about that.”

The captain said the plane’s crew had investigated the problem, but were unable to fix it, so the plane would need to return to London for health and safety reasons.

 

I would be so proud if I were the pooper. I’d have lifetime bragging right and It would be an awesome story to tell the grandkids. “Gather round children, there was one time when your old granddad took a dump so wretched, it brought down a freaking plane!" Legends of my sh*t will be passed down from generation to generation.

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Confessions Of A Meth Dealer

April 9, 2014 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Story |

I was addicted to meth for a few years (well, I’ll forever be addicted to it; I have absolutely no control when it comes to amphetamines). It started out wonderfully (like any drug) and was even responsible for getting me a couple great paying day jobs (gotta love the motivation meth provides; if you can harness it) and even a promotion! Eventually my usage increased to the point that I felt I should offset my costs so I started dealing too.

My girl at the time was a waitress so I used her and a couple of her hotter waitress friends to sell my product to both customers as well as most of the other staff (turns out the food industry is LOADED with users, DUH!). After a few months, the demand began to get so high I was having trouble keeping up with it. My regular hookup flat-out admitted that He would not be able to keep up with my demand (He had a regular job too and this was nothing more than fun for him) so He pointed me to another guy who He thought might be of some assistance. That is when shit began to get real serious. I quit my day job as I no longer wanted to go (or even needed to).

Things continued to go very well as I continued to expand my business of using waitresses to sell product (high turnover means waitresses are constantly changing locations, thus getting a new customer base). It worked out beautifully as we were effectively a delivery service. Nobody was ever coming to my house so there never appeared to be any suspicious activity. Practically a perfect system.

At this point my usage had been pretty heavy for a while (I was up to 10g a day on average, or about $750) and it had begun to take it’s toll. I was only sleeping a couple of hours a week (more like taking fitful naps) and that was catching up (I had been doing it for over 2 years now). I was angry and psychotic pretty much all the time. It was destroying relationships and I truly did not give a single fuck. I began to see that my inability to control it was destroying everything around me. Being in the throws of addiction is…. a complex thing. I was fully aware that I was an addict, that it was taking it’s toll and would almost certainly eventually kill me. I did not care. I mean I really, truly did not care. Total apathy. All that matters is the drug; if you can get that, then everything else is less important or can be fixed after..

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3 Comments »

With Great Dump, Comes Great Story Telling Responsibility….This One’s For You Dumpski!

January 15, 2014 | 2 Comments » | Topics: main, Story |

Context is childbirth is the most pain any human will ever feel :

Bullshit dude, bullshit. I once ate a tray of 24 assorted muffins: blueberry, lemon poppy-seed, cranberry apple, banana nut, even bran. Large muffins too, like you’d buy at the bakery, not grocery store mini-muffins. I ate the first five or six out of hunger, and the next dozen I can only attribute to gluttony, but the last half dozen were devoured by determination alone. A part of me wanted to stop – I was full, the muffins had become repulsive, and there was a disconcerting pressure in my chest. The other, stronger part of me knew that if I gave up on that muffin platter I would admit limitation. A limited man can rationalize his every weakness, turn away from every challenge, live his life within the narrow confines of comfort; that’s not how I live my life. But I digress. It took six days for my bowels to move, and when they did I shat a monolithic muffin block so wide it could not be flushed, so dense it would not dissolve with repeated flushing, and so heavy it took two hands to lift. The measure of anxiety, pain, pride and love is indescribable, so don’t tell me I don’t understand childbirth – thenewaddition

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A Real American Hero!

November 11, 2013 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Story |

You’re a 19 year old kid. You’re critically wounded, and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley , 11-14-1965, LZ X-ray, Vietnam. Your infantry unit is outnumbered 8 – 1, and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own Infantry Commander has ordered the MediVac helicopters to stop coming in. 

You’re lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns, and you know you’re not getting out. Your family is half-way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you’ll never see them again. As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day. Then, over the machine gun noise, you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter, and you look up to see an un-armed Huey, but it doesn’t seem real, because no Medi-Vac markings are on it. 

Ed Freeman is coming for you. He’s not Medi-Vac, so it’s not his job, but he’s flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire, after the Medi-Vacs were ordered not to come. 

He’s coming anyway. 

And he drops it in, and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 2 or 3 of you on board. 

Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire, to the Doctors and Nurses. 

And, he kept coming back…. 13 more times….. And took about 30 of you and your buddies out, who would never have gotten out. 

I bet you didn’t hear about his heroism in the media, but we sure were told a whole bunch about a chick who’s famous for having a big ass and a sex tape.  

Medal of Honor Winner Ed Freeman! 

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