to the guy doing my wife

April 20, 2011 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, Writing |

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.

2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?

5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).

6.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not
mentaly challenged.

7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.

8.When she asks “do these pants make me look fat”, say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only orded one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become ackward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don’t feel rushed.

P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

Thanks This was not writen by anyone named Jack S.

via Craigslist


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Who Better To Usher In The 420 Festivities Than The Hammer Weilding God Known As Thor

April 20, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: GIFs |


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This Is Pretty Freaking Awesome: Foo Fighters Play A Concert In A Pizza Dude’s Garage

April 19, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Awesomeness, Music |

Holy fcuking shiet! The Foo Fighters have taken their awesomeness to another level with this. As part of some pizza guy’s prize, they were invited to play in his garage and they totally rocked the stucco off the fcuking wall. And to all the haters out there who think that the Foo Fighters are too mainstream, Fcuk you and put that Pitchfork back up in your ass.


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14 Pictures Taken Exactly At The Right Time

April 19, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: main |

when a pic isnt just a pic

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9 Deadly Words Used By Women

April 19, 2011 | 6 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, Writing |

9 deadly words used by woman

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This
will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.


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20 Pictures That Make You Laugh No Matter How Many Times You’ve Seen It

April 18, 2011 | 6 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures |

lol pictures

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An Acid Trip As Told Through The Drawings Of An Artist

April 18, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Awesomeness |

acid trip drawing

As part of a test conducted by the US government in the 1950s, an artist was subjected to a dose of psychotomimetic drug LSD-25 and given free access to an activity box full of crayons and pencils. What follows is a series of 9 drawings the artist made at varying stages of his trip.

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Floyd Mayweather Collects $100k In Cash At The Casino Off A Bet

April 18, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: main |

Even though I lost respect for him after his numerous dodges at fighting Pacquiao, I’ll give him credit for entertaining me for the last 13 minutes and 24 seconds, which in all honesty deserves a lot of credit, because I have the attention span of a gnat and I’ll only watch a video past the 30 second mark if it involves a hot chick doing things her dad would not be proud of. It definitely is an interesting video and you get to hear his thoughts and feelings on a bunch of shiet and if you don’t have any pressing matters at hand, check it out.

via Ben Baller


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