Marriage 1.0 Tech Support

June 30, 2009 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures |

marriage tech support

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5, Farting 99.9, and Racing 3.6
I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING) ___________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support


2 Comments »



Ladies And Gentleman, Meet Susan Coffey

June 28, 2009 | No Comments » | Topics: main |

susan coffey

Susan Coffey is a Jersey Girl. Right now she’s a student and part-time model but lately her DeviantArt and Facebook pages have been getting a lot of attention from the internets and now she’s arrived at theCHIVE. I’ve spoken to Susan a couple times and she’s as nice as she is scorching hot. So play nice (or don’t) and get let the opinions fly because yours is the only one that matters. True story.

See the rest of Susan’s sexy and cute pictures here


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Smart Car Owns A Ferrari

June 27, 2009 | 3 Comments » | Topics: main |

Yeah the Smart Car weighs like 50 times less then the Ferrari and has a Hayabusa engine in it but it still awesome to see a Ferrari getting left in the dust by this little go-kart of a car.




3 Comments »


Woman Boils Man’s Head and Serves it in Soup for Daughter

June 24, 2009 | 2 Comments » | Topics: WTF |

woman boils mans head

A Chinese woman from the province of Sichuan was sentenced to death with a two-year reprieve after having knocked unconscious a drunk 76-year-old passer-by, beheading him, and serving. his head in a soup made with duck, which was served to their 25 year old daughter in hopes it would cure her psychiatric problems.

The problem with eating the head of a 76-year-old Chinese drunk is that you just end up wanting another head of a 76-year-old Chinese drunk an hour later.


2 Comments »


Shelton Benjamin Gets OWNED By SuperKick From Hell

June 24, 2009 | 1 Comment » | Topics: main |

Just because wrestling is fake, doesn’t mean this kick wasn’t ridiculously amazing.




1 Comment »





Dude’s Face Gets OWNED By Car

June 23, 2009 | 1 Comment » | Topics: main |

If you ever wanted to know what a back bumper tasted like going at 40mph…ask this kid(if he’s still alive).




1 Comment »


Jordy Smith Completes A Rodeo Flip

June 23, 2009 | No Comments » | Topics: Awesomeness |

This video is the epitome of ‘Gnarly’



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Biker Gets OWNED By Wall

June 22, 2009 | 17 Comments » | Topics: main |

If you ever wanted to know what a wall tasted like, ask this kid….




17 Comments »


Breakfast Sushi

June 22, 2009 | No Comments » | Topics: Food |

Bacon, egg, hash browns and rice rolled into sushi = pure awesomeness!

breakfast sushi


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Awkward Moments On Facebook

June 21, 2009 | No Comments » | Topics: main |

awkward facebook

See the rest of the awkward moments on Facebook here


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