Men, Take Notice! This Is How You Properly Fill Out An Online Dating Profile

May 18, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Funny Pictures, PIC |

ok cupid murderer profile

Wow, what a catch! But two things raised a red flag for me. First of all am I really supposed to believe he’s only 30? And second of all, with a diet of “strictly anything” how could he possibly be “fit”?

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It Took This Guy About 10 Seconds To React To The News…

May 18, 2011 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures |


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The Gist Of 90% Of All Self Help Books

May 17, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Motivation, Writing |

self help books

Roughly 90% of Self Help books contain the same advice repeated over and over. Don’t believe me? Stop by your local bookstore sometime and read the Table of Contents of a dozen or so Self Help books. The advice may be worded differently or geared toward a specific target audience (eg. men, women, various enthnic and social groups), but the underlying message is pretty much always the same. Here’s a list of that advice:

1. You Create Your Own Life

You are not a victim. You are 100% responsible for the life you have right now. If you are unhappy, you have the power to change your attitude and actions to begin making your life better. Always remember, whether you think life sucks or you think life is great, either way, you’re right.

2. You Make Yourself Feel The Way You Feel

Ever notice how some people are able to brush off insults, while others get furious and start throwing punches? Realize that nobody can “make” you feel anything. You are the one that “chooses” to feel good or bad about a particular event or action that occurs.

3. Fake It Until You Make It

If you want to be more confident, happy, or positive, then “pretend” that you already are this way. Eventually, after practicing this long enough, you’ll realize that you’re no longer “pretending”.

4. Follow Your Purpose

A purpose is what you enjoy doing that you never get tired of and you will do for the rest of your life. Is your purpose to write screenplays? Is it to help sick people? Write down on index cards a list of purposes and choose the one that speaks to you the most.

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Michael Jordan On Failures

May 17, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Motivation |

michael jordan failure

"I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."


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The Hilariously Random Musings Of Everyday People

May 16, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, Writing |

ruminations

All of these were taken from Ruminations.com, so don’t crucify me for not giving credit where credit is due.

1. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
4. I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?
5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fck was going on when I first saw it.
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In Honor Of The American Psycho Business Card Scene, I’m Presenting To You 40 Awesome Business Cards That Patrick Bateman Would Bootyuredly Be Envious Of

May 16, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Art |



In honor of one of my most favorite movie scenes of all time, the business card scene in American Psycho, I’m presenting to you 40 awesome business cards that Patrick Bateman would definitely be envious of even though it’s not printed on Eggshell stock with Romalian type.

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I’m Going To Go Out On A Limb And Say That This Will Be The Most Awesome Thing You See This Week

May 15, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures, GIFs |

impatient dad


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For All The People Out There Who Have Yet To Lay Their Eyes On A $190,000 Bar Tab…Today Is Your Lucky Day

May 14, 2011 | 6 Comments » | Topics: PIC |

190000 bar tab vegas

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