Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
- Henry Scott Holland
No yelling, no name calling, no one trying to wage an all out jihadist war…what the hell is go on?? I thought this was the 21st century?!?!
And this is why I miss college…Bro My God
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I am a smoker. It is not about control of your life. On the contrary.
When I first started I agreed with you. Then I started skipping family vacations because I couldn’t smoke around my parents. That was fucking cool. Then I skipped dinners because i couldn’t smoke in the restaurant. That was cool. Then I stopped playing sports. Then I bled whenever I brushed my teeth so I cut down on that. That was awesome becauase the bitches love a dude that doesn’t brush his teeth often. That’s fucking cool.
I live in a culture where its the norm to kiss on the cheek when you meet someone. I’m so cool that women wouldn’t kiss me because I stunk of an ash tray. Felt cool. Started getting wrinkles at 28. Cool again. Dick started to not work. That was awesome. Cool guys don’t care about getting boners because, like, fuck society, man.
I got invited to go on a boat. Everyone swam from the boat to the shore. Not me because I would fucking drown because my lungs are shit. Shit lungs like a fucking cool guy I guess. Sat on the deck and applied sun screen like a fucking movie star while my friends were on the beach drinking and having fun. Bunch of mainstream losers.
I don’t take more risks because I smoke cigarettes. I take fewer. But real risks are for pussies. It’s much cooler to secretly feel fear when I get chest pain because I’m afraid I might have cancer. It’s much cooler to go on WebMD trying to figure out how long I can have a chest pain before it’s time to get a chest x-ray. That’s cool, but you didn’t include WebMD in your little rundown of the benefits of being a cool worldly gentleman smoker.
I use them as a crutch because I’m such a pussy in social situations. It gives me something to do because I can’t think for myself well enough to do anything but go through the little ritual you described. So cool. When I go to airports in Europe I stand in a chamber the size of an elevator with 20 Chinese workers in jumpsuits chain smoking cheap shit. I’m different though. I’m cool. Anyone with two eyes and a brain can see that. That’s why I’m leaning like I am against this wall, and they’re just huffing away like a bunch of Chinese workers.