We're happily married, though I wouldn't say "awesome" best describes what we have, I'd like to answer this question anyway because no one has an only awesome relationship. I love my wife very much and when things are good they are really good. We fight, we get mad, sometimes over stupid things but not always. We have similar passions which is really important and empathize well with each others feelings. Have there been surprises? Definitely... both good and bad, and being married has been so much different than I expected. The thing that really makes me sure that we will survive, is that I can't picture trying to do get through this life without her, that we truly enjoy spending time with one another, even if it's doing nothing. I know that I am a fully capable adult but with her I feel unstoppable and I actively aim to be the same inspiration for her. Are things always awesome? ...no way, would I change it? ...no way.
Actress Jean Harlow poses with boxer Primo Carnera, 1933
Bonnie and Clyde’s car after they were killed, 1934
Ask three questions before engaging in any conversation:
1) Do you both agree on the purpose of what you’re arguing about?
For example, if engaging in an argument about government policy, do you both agree on what the purpose of government is? If you don’t agree on the purpose, you’ll never sway each other as you’re arguing two different things.
2) Can I change this person’s opinion?
Is the person the type of person who makes decisions based on logic and reason, or are they ruled by emotion? If they’re ruled by emotion, no logic or reason, no matter how sound, will sway them. Try literally asking them “what could I provide that would sway your opinion?”
3) Will I benefit if this person’s opinion is changed?
Let’s say you succeed and change the opinion of a random dude on the internet… and? What did you gain?
4) Am I prepared to listen and have my opinion changed?
If any of these 4 questions can be answered with a “no”, do not engage in the discussion.
You will find this process will cause you to avoid most arguments.
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