How to get confidence? It is a question that commonly gets asked around here. My usual answer has always been "fake it until you make it." Which in my opinion is a fantastic answer, and it gets results. But if someone had told me this back when I was a struggling beta with no confidence, it would have just blown right past me. Without any traction for it to stick to, it is just a meaningless phrase. So this is for all of the beginners with zero confidence.
Fear/ Self Doubt
When I was in college, I felt like a 15 year old boy amongst 25 year old men. I felt like I didn’t match up to them physically or experience wise. I withdrew from socializing because I felt like people were judging me and it had to be clear to them that I didn’t fit the typical college physique/personality/persona. I was full of self doubt and didn’t think that I could fit in. You see how many times I said "I" in those last 2 sentences? I was the one that was causing all of my self doubt. I was the one that was causing me to withdraw and be anti-social. I was the one that was determining my level of confidence.
People weren’t judging me. I was judging myself through other people’s eye’s. I was determining other people’s opinions of me for them. Are you doing the same thing? Have you ever said to yourself "she won’t like me because I am too tall/short/skinny/fat/nerdy/introverted/ugly/boring/poor/un-athletic? Have you avoided a social situation because you felt like you wouldn’t fit in? If so, you are the one that is defining what other people think of you.
Whenever somebody meets you, you are a blank slate. They don’t know your past, what you did in high school, where you went to college, how many girls you’ve slept with, what job you have, how much money you make, how big your dick is. They can only see what you allow them to see. You create what they see. You have the power to create their perception of you. They don’t know anything about your personality and if you don’t allow them to see it, they will never get a chance to. If you pull yourself out of the game because of your self doubts, they will never get a chance to know you and you will never get a chance to show them.
Stop allowing fear of what others may think of you control who you are. You are the one that controls how people perceive you. How you project yourself is how others will perceive you.