I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.
- Neil Gaiman
by Shakedown Lab
Hearing, “Be confident” and “Just be yourself” is very frustrating. But as unhelpful as those statements are, people say them because it is true. If you are confident and just being yourself, you are more attractive than the version of yourself that isn’t confident. Just a fact of life.
But that’s the goal, isn’t it? To be able to walk into any room and be completely comfortable and at ease. To walk into a room and instead of having anxiety about all of these new people, you are actually excited about the prospects of meeting them. It’s a total mental shift. And again, I can’t just tell you, “Don’t be anxious, be excited instead.” That’s not helpful, either. But that’s the goal, isn’t it?
You need to get out of the mindset of “if I do X, then Y will happen.” “If I join two bands and work out, I won’t be alone.” This is a fallacy, as you’ve obviously discovered. When people say “Get hobbies and work out”, I don’t actually believe that they think that is the solution. They just don’t know how to word it any differently.
So I will word it differently for them. “You need to foster a lifestyle that puts you out into the world and makes you feel good for you.” Don’t get hobbies and work out because you think it will solve your girl problems. You get hobbies and work out because it is something that you love doing. If you are doing it to get girls, then you are doing it for the wrong reasons. If you are doing it to get girls, ironically, you are actually doing yourself a disservice. The idea is that confident men have things that they are passionate about. And they do them regardless of what anyone else thinks. Confident and strong men have obligations. They are busy. They have shiet they need to get done and they do not forfeit those obligations.
Let’s take a hypothetical situation: It’s 3:52pm. You have plans to lift in the gym from 4pm to 5pm. All of a sudden your crush calls you up on the phone crying. She got into another fight with her boyfriend and instinctively called you because you’ve always been there for her during those times. You’re a sensitive guy, and girls like that, right? So you think, I need to be there for her right now. Maybe now she’ll realize I’m the guy she’s supposed to be with. You think you can skip this one workout and make it up on an off-day or something. You tell her everything is going to be okay and that you’ll be over to her place in 10 minutes.
Cue cycle of Forever Alone.
Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has got it right. Few people do.
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream guy so much that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him after the funeral. A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?
[Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below]