I am only 24 years old, yet I have actually already chosen my last tie. It’s the one that I will wear on my funeral a few months from now. It may not match my suit, but I think it’s perfect for the occasion.
The cancer diagnosis came too late to give me at least a tenuous hope for a long life, but I realized that the most important thing about death is to ensure that you leave this world a little better than it was before you existed with your contributions . The way I’ve lived my life so far, my existence or more precisely the loss of it, will not matter because I have lived without doing anything impactful.
Before, there were so many things that occupied my mind. When I learned how much time I had left, however, it became clear which things are really important. So, I am writing to you for a selfish reason. I want to give meaning to my life by sharing with you what I have realized:
Don’t waste your time on work that you don’t enjoy. It is obvious that you cannot succeed in something that you don’t like. Patience, passion, and dedication come easily only when you love what you do.
It’s stupid to be afraid of others’ opinions. Fear weakens and paralyzes you. If you let it, it can grow worse and worse every day until there is nothing left of you, but a shell of yourself. Listen to your inner voice and go with it. Some people may call you crazy, but some may even think you‘re a legend.
Take control of your life Take full responsibility for the things that happen to you. Limit bad habits and try to lead a healthier life. Find a sport that makes you happy. Most of all, don’t procrastinate. Let your life be shaped by decisions you made, not by the ones you didn’t.
Appreciate the people around you Your friends and relatives will always be an infinite source of strength and love. That is why you shouldn’t take them for granted.
It is difficult for me to fully express my feelings about the importance of these simple realizations, but I hope that you will listen to someone who has experienced how valuable time is.
I'm not upset because I understand that the last days of my life have become meaningful. I only regret that I will not be able to see a lot of cool stuff that should happen soon like the creation of AI, or Elon Musk’s next awesome project. I also hope that the war in Syria and Ukraine will end soon.
We care so much about the health and integrity of our body that until death, we don’t notice that the body is nothing more than a box - a parcel for delivering our personality, thoughts, beliefs and intentions to this world. If there is nothing in this box that can change the world, then it doesn’t matter if it disappears. I believe that we all have potential, but it also takes a lot of courage to realize it.
You can float through a life created by circumstances, missing day after day, hour after hour. Or, you can fight for what you believe in and write the great story of your life. I hope you will make the right choice.
Leave a mark in this world. Have a meaningful life, whatever definition it has for you. Go towards it. The place we are leaving is a beautiful playground, where everything is possible. Yet, we are not here forever. Our life is a short spark in this beautiful little planet that flies with incredible speed to the endless darkness of the unknown universe. So, enjoy your time here with passion. Make it interesting. Make it count!
You need to understand that to keep a converstaion going, you need to be a good listener. That word is thrown around a LOT but what I mean by a good listener is NOT that you just sit there and listen to whatever anyone has to say but what you need to do is really listen!
Let me explain the difference : the difference being that when someone says a line you make mental notes of different things.(very very important – I’ll get back to this point) Then from within those things, pick up one and ask something about that. Repeat the same thing with whatever reply you get from the person.
Every now and then add to the conversation. Share your own related story/thought/experience related to what you are talking about. That keeps the conversation from becoming an interview.
Almost everyone does this naturally (yes, even most of the socailly awkward), but what you need to do to keep conversation from dying out are just 3 simple things :
Avoid simple yes/no questions, one word reply questions or questions you reply with ok. Avoid them as much as you can ! these are conversation killers ! specially when the other person is not as talkative. Dont ask them unless you have something else you can go on about even with a one
Never EVER reply with a one word reply when asked something. Those are conversation killers. Since the other person doesnt have much to go on about, they might not be able to reply (remember : they have probably not read this wall of text that I am typing, they might not conciously know what they are doing when they are having a conversation with you/anybody). Eventually what happens is even though they are as interested in carrying on the conversation, it turns into an awkward sielnce. If you are asked something that can only be answered in a one word reply, follow up with a question / statement.
by Shakedown Lab
Hearing, “Be confident” and “Just be yourself” is very frustrating. But as unhelpful as those statements are, people say them because it is true. If you are confident and just being yourself, you are more attractive than the version of yourself that isn’t confident. Just a fact of life.
But that’s the goal, isn’t it? To be able to walk into any room and be completely comfortable and at ease. To walk into a room and instead of having anxiety about all of these new people, you are actually excited about the prospects of meeting them. It’s a total mental shift. And again, I can’t just tell you, “Don’t be anxious, be excited instead.” That’s not helpful, either. But that’s the goal, isn’t it?
You need to get out of the mindset of “if I do X, then Y will happen.” “If I join two bands and work out, I won’t be alone.” This is a fallacy, as you’ve obviously discovered. When people say “Get hobbies and work out”, I don’t actually believe that they think that is the solution. They just don’t know how to word it any differently.
So I will word it differently for them. “You need to foster a lifestyle that puts you out into the world and makes you feel good for you.” Don’t get hobbies and work out because you think it will solve your girl problems. You get hobbies and work out because it is something that you love doing. If you are doing it to get girls, then you are doing it for the wrong reasons. If you are doing it to get girls, ironically, you are actually doing yourself a disservice. The idea is that confident men have things that they are passionate about. And they do them regardless of what anyone else thinks. Confident and strong men have obligations. They are busy. They have shiet they need to get done and they do not forfeit those obligations.
Let’s take a hypothetical situation: It’s 3:52pm. You have plans to lift in the gym from 4pm to 5pm. All of a sudden your crush calls you up on the phone crying. She got into another fight with her boyfriend and instinctively called you because you’ve always been there for her during those times. You’re a sensitive guy, and girls like that, right? So you think, I need to be there for her right now. Maybe now she’ll realize I’m the guy she’s supposed to be with. You think you can skip this one workout and make it up on an off-day or something. You tell her everything is going to be okay and that you’ll be over to her place in 10 minutes.
Cue cycle of Forever Alone.