What It Feel Like To Be 80 Years Old
I am in my 80s. To be this age is largely luck. To be this age and reasonably healthy with peace of mind is even luckier. To be this age, be healthy, and not lonely makes one feel so lucky that you want to gulp the moments down like a drowning man reaching air. I have been in five car crashes without being hurt (none were my fault). During the war as a child, I experienced several bombs falling within close range and where people within yards of myself were killed or injured. Numerous other such incidents sometimes gives one a sense of invulnerability, and other times that the next incident won’t be so lucky.
I regret much but also realize that having regrets meant that I had opportunities to regret; I was lucky to have those opportunities. There is a desire to leave one’s mark; graffiti on the wall of time; an apt engraving on a tombstone or small plaque on a park bench. The gifts of inheritance that will be gratefully accepted, and carry the essence of one’s past. The slogan ‘I was here’ seems as important as always, but much more in the sense of ‘I hope I deserve it’ rather than ‘And now you know.’
Much thought is sometimes given to organ donations, with an underlying feeling of ‘Please God keep me healthy and I will give my body to science in return.’ Though living on as a kidney transplant is more of an altruistic gesture than a religious one.
When friends pass away, it is not just their presence that is lost, it is also the memories they have of you. The “Do you remember when…?” conversations that pepper the elderly reminiscences. Fear of death is actually rare and is commonly a joke. On the other hand, fear of losing one’s memories, faculties, or independence is real. We put a great value on having people who we can trust — especially to carry out wishes when we are gone. Making final decisions can be upsetting, particularly if they relate to young people who are distant in age and lifestyle yet close in relationship.
One gets comfort from familiarity; the same cup; the same chair; the same view. One can be disturbed by the disruption or criticism of established habits. Having pets is a comfort, but caring for them can be increasingly difficult when joints get stiff, and even bending over is an effort.
It is easy to put off things till tomorrow, though there is the thought that there may not be a tomorrow. Oddly enough, the older one gets, the more likely it is that one will live longer. If the Devil hasn’t taken you yet, he may not be bothering. There is the constant sorting out of possessions no longer used, and not acceptable even for charity shops. The clothes that once looked smart in ones finger-clicking days now seem to say “How can you do this to me?” as they read your thoughts. There are the books you intended reading, but now never will. The postcards of forgotten places with ‘Hope you are well’ signed by some long lost friend. The photos of someone you knew well, but cannot now recall the name. Perhaps the more intimate letters from those you knew when time stood still.
So, what is it like to be in your eighties? It is really not much different from being any age where your concerns are getting through the day. On the other hand, people have more importance than possessions; comfort more worth than ambition; trust more value than money; love more satisfying than immortality.
Perhaps in some ways, one wants to leave the world as one entered it; without fear or pain; without anger or distrust; without possessions or debts; without demands or expectations; in innocence.
Moustafa Ismail from Egypt has the world’s largest biceps. He is a 24-year-old gas station attendant who has had his 31in. biceps confirmed and will appear in the 2013 issue of the Guinness Book of Records. He started bodybuilding ten years ago and claims to have a minimum of three hours of training, at least twice a day. Your thoughts????
I bought this game at a garage sale when I was in middle school. The best part is that each time you go around the board you have the chance to have “illegitimate children” which you then tally upon passing “go” to earn welfare bucks. During one game I had fourteen illegitimate children and still lost because I ended up having to get a job and therefore off of welfare.
My figure has never been the same since.
Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course?
Each of us has such a bank. It’s name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to a good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against “tomorrow.”
You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!
The clock is running!! Make the most of today.
Maybe it’s just because I’m getting older, but every day I see something like this and think to myself "Holy crap. We are living in the fu*king future right now."
I mean, I carry a computer in my pocket. Not something that kinda works like a computer, not a "computer", but a real life, honest-to-god fu*king pocket computer. And it’s 1000 times more powerful than the behemoth I used to download shietty porrn on 20 years ago that cost multiple thousands of dollars.
And then I realize, HOLY Fuk THIS THING DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A CORD. It just magically pulls smut out of the ether like some fu*king electronic porrn fairy. I don’t even have to type one-handed anymore, I can just use a dictation program to make girls feel uncomfortable in chat rooms.
Or, if I’m feeling brave, I can even call some girl and make her feel even more uncomfortable because my pocket computer is ALSO A PHONE. If I’m feeling frisky I could just send her a picture of my junk 5 seconds after I take it. No waiting, no postage, no cutting letters out of magazines. Nothing. Just point, shoot, creep. Because the computer-phone in my pocket? It’s also a camera. THAT’S RIGHT A MOTHERFukING CAMERA. How’s that for futuristic?
But wait, I’m not done. Let’s say that girl doesn’t want to see my junk anymore and stops taking my phone calls. I can find a zoomable aerial map of her house and then THE FukING GPS INSIDE MY PHONE-CAMERA-PORRNFAIRY-COMPUTER will find me the shortest route to her house. It will even find me a hardware store on the way, and if it’s still open, I can even buy some duct tape, a chainsaw, some garbage bags, and a shovel and have them waiting for me at customer service to be picked up when I get there.
I don’t care what anyone says, we are living in the future, and it is truly a magical time.
Nah I got sh*t to do today
Japanese game shows are awesome
Eye Contact Level: Expert
Douchebag Level: Maximum