by Nick Notas
Emotions are habits formed through repetition. To change the way we feel, we must change our behaviors.
For many of us, our default emotional responses are negative. We are easily annoyed. We always expect the worst. And we have become bitter towards the world and ourselves. Those negative responses create an endless loop which further ingrains our negativity. We get to a point where we forget how to act happy and therefore be happy.
This is why I’m passionate about the positive psychology movement. It’s rooted in science (not fluff), and actually works. By practicing mindfulness and choosing positive habits we can break our negative cycles to lead healthy, happy, and productive lives.
- Be grateful every day. Praise others often and praise yourself even more. What are you proud of? What are you thankful for? Journal something positive about yourself or your day. We are our harshest critic and our constant self-teardown reinforces allow sense of worth. Instead of always asking “What’s wrong with me?”, start asking “What’s right with me?”
- Stop victimizing yourself. Bad stuff happens to everybody — you’re not the only one. I’m not downplaying your problems but it’s a reality you have to accept. Absolving yourself of all responsibility and blaming the world won’t fix anything. You are not entitled to happiness. So…
Rare Titanic Footage
This story will warm you better than a coffee in a cold winter day:
"We enter a little coffeehouse with a friend of mine and give our order. While we’re approaching our table two people come in and they go to the counter –
‘Five coffees, please. Two of them for us and three suspended’
They pay for their order, take the two and leave. I ask my friend:
‘What are those ‘suspended’ coffees ?’
‘Wait for it and you will see’
Some more people enter. Two girls ask for one coffee each, pay and go. The next order was for seven coffees and it was made by three lawyers – three for them and four ‘suspended’. While I still wonder what’s the deal with those ‘suspended’ coffees I enjoy the sunny weather and the beautiful view towards the square in front of the café. Suddenly a man dressed in shabby clothes who looks like a beggar comes in through the door and kindly asks
‘Do you have a suspended coffee ?’
It’s simple – people pay in advance for a coffee meant for someone who can not afford a warm beverage. The tradition with the suspended coffees started in Naples, but it has spread all over the world and in some places you can order not only a suspended coffee, but also a sandwich or a whole meal."