Courses for Women
(Taught by men, for women)
101 Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV
102 Doing Housework Without Complaining
103 Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge
104 Going to The Washroom Alone
(formerly Coping Without My Friends)
105 Understanding the Male Response to “Do I Look OK?”
106 Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother
107 Learning How to Initiate Intimacy
108 How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong
109 Understanding the Male Response to “Am I Fat?”
Dude Climbs 700ft Rock Without Rope
Man Disarms Landmines With Pocketknife
Are you the guy that takes all of her bullshiet? Are you the guy that she walks all over? Are you the guy that lets her get away with anything she wants? Are you that guy that can’t pass any of her test? Are you that guy that she flakes out on? Are you that guy that coddles her and calls her and makes sure everything is all right? Are you that guy that apologizes for her all her baggage? Are you that guy that can’t say ‘no’ to her? Are you the guy that carries her purse?
Here’s a pretty disturbing story told by an ex-convict who saw some shiet on the yard, which in all honesty is commonplace in an environment where murderers, robbers, gangsters and the like congregate. For all those likely headed in the direction of prison, if you don’t have a clear understanding of what really goes on in there; the politics, the power struggles, the power moves, the chess game, the weapons, the drugs, the racial barrier, respect, people with life sentences with nothing to lose, the people that really run the prison….you’ll be fcuked, figuratively and literally.
To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.
1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.
3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.
4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?
5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).
6.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not
7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.
8.When she asks “do these pants make me look fat”, say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.
9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.
10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.
Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only orded one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become ackward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don’t feel rushed.
P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.
Thanks This was not writen by anyone named Jack S.
Holy fcuking shiet! The Foo Fighters have taken their awesomeness to another level with this. As part of some pizza guy’s prize, they were invited to play in his garage and they totally rocked the stucco off the fcuking wall. And to all the haters out there who think that the Foo Fighters are too mainstream, Fcuk you and put that Pitchfork back up in your ass.