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5 Legendary Barney Stinson Quotes to Help You With Women

May 14, 2012 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Dating |

barney stinson

by Nick Notas

I just started watching How I Met Your Mother (I know, I’m late to the party) and I’m constantly inspired by Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson. His fearlessness, brutal honesty, unrelenting optimism, and impeccable sense of style make him a character I can look up to (most of the time.)

Granted, I don’t agree with him on certain points, but damn he has some nuggets of wisdom. If you’re ready to take advice from the epic NPH, then suit up!

A week? That’s like a year in hot girl time.

The longer you wait to take action with a girl, the less likely it is that something will happen. If you get her number, hit her up within 24 hours. If you want to get her on a date, ask her. If you like a girl you’ve been friends with, show her. If you think she looks cute in her dress, tell her. If you want to kiss her, go for it.

Why play the waiting game and “hope it happens”? That rarely works and you’ll end up losing more opportunities than you’ll gain. Strike when the iron is hot — before someone else does and while she’s still interested. Great women don’t wait around.

Dude, lots of chicks think that architects are hot. Think about that, you create something out of nothing. You’re like God. There is no one hotter than God.

Be proud of what you do! It doesn’t matter if you’re a software developer, an aspiring writer, a barista, or a male nurse. There’s value in every job and you should never downplay your abilities. Speak with passion in your voice.

Software developers influence everything we do. Writers fill our hearts and minds with imagination and have the power to change the world. Without baristas we’d all be tired allthe time (well, most of us.) And nurses, save lives.

How does your job benefit society? Who do you help? What’s exciting about it? Own your career path and I guarantee she’ll find it sexy.

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What's heroin like?

It's like having the worst girlfriend ever, who you are madly in love with but who treats you like shit, makes you sell your car and house and furniture and even your high school yearbook that your crush from 10th grade signed and told you that you were cute. She's told you to stop talking to anyone you've ever cared about, they don't want to talk to you while you're still dating her anyways. You sell your clothes so she can go out and buy new ones. You eat ramen every meal so she ca eat at the best restaurant in town. In the morning you think about her and in the evening you think about her and when you go to take a crap but you can't because you're constipated you're reminded of her. You wake up and if she's not in bed with you you get the chills, your eyes water, you have diarrhea, you sneeze, your muscles ache, you have anxiety, you have depression, you don't want to eat because food isn't appealing even though your stomach is rumbling, you don't particularly want to drink but you're dehydrated so you force yourself to drink some water, and during all this your skin is crawling as if it was dirty covered in goose-bumps from who knows where and you wish you were still asleep so you could at least pretend she was still in the bed with you. But you're awake now. So you get out of bed, and you go find her. Maybe today you won't have to do something that compromises your morals to find out where she's gone, but really you don't even care, as long as there is a way. You walk an hour and forty five minutes to get on the bus. You travel for another 45 minutes on public transportation. You get off at the train station in the bad part of town. All the while you have to shit so bad but you know once you find her that will be solved. You're hungry but dont want to eat, once you find her you can eat. You feel dirty and sad and anxious but once you find her she'll bathe you and make you happy and calm. But right now your walking through the ghetto. You walk another 20 minutes. Maybe it's cold and raining, if so you are so so so cold. Maybe it's hotter than hell and that just makes you feel dirtier. You find a guy that knows where she is. He says he'll go get her and bring her to you. And the cops pass you as you're talking to him and they have to know what's up. What's someone like you doing in this part of town? So the 10 minute wait for her to come back to you accompanied by the guy who could give two shits about you as long as you bring him money seems like an eternity. Maybe he'll run off with her and your money. Maybe she wont be looking so hot today, maybe she won't be herself. Maybe he'll come back with a woman you don't know and don't want to meet but now your money is gone and you're broke and sick and a good few hours away before you can get some more money and the world might as well be over in your opinion. But your girlfriend comes back, he brings her, and she gives you a kiss on the cheek. Then you go home, to your mattress and your overdue rent and the lack of food and the piled up bills and the same clothes you've been wearing for three days and your parents that have called but you never answer and your friends that invite you out but you never go, but you're home and she's there with you. Eventually you go to bed. But she's never there the next morning, and you know she won't be, and you wish someone invented a way to pause time, or go back in time, to that first time you met her, the first couple months when you guys hung out, before she made you sell everything to be with her, but you can't and you're fucked. And you know it.

- notthecolorblue


20 Seriously Awesome Ideas For Lunch

May 14, 2012 | No Comments » | Topics: Food |

food pron

food pron

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Man Your Battlestations! (20 Pictures)

May 14, 2012 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Awesomeness |

battle stations

battle stations

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Start Your Week In The Right Direction With A Nice Dosage Of Motivation

May 13, 2012 | No Comments » | Topics: Motivation |

motivational quotes

motivational quotes

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Friday Would Not Be Complete Without These 12 Awesome Reaction GIFs

May 11, 2012 | 2 Comments » | Topics: GIFs, LOLs |

How I feel when I try hanging out with the cool kids

reaction gifs

 

When I look at my bank account in the middle of the month…

reaction gifs

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How To Cook A Steak Like A BOSS

May 11, 2012 | 7 Comments » | Topics: Food, How To |

awesome easy meal

Gather your stuff

* maters * shrooms * rosemary * garlic * steaky steak (get dry aged, k?)

 

awesome easy meal

Do some prep

* butter * cut stuff if you want it cut * rosemary can stay rosemary

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How To Troll Your Niece Properly

May 11, 2012 | No Comments » | Topics: LOLs |

trolling niece

My brother was babysitting our niece and suggested they play house. I think she was scammed.

trolling niece

trolling niece

trolling niece

trolling niece

(via)


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The Dumping Grounds

May 10, 2012 | No Comments » | Topics: The Dumping Grounds |

daily dumpage

daily dumpage

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