You’ve probably heard the phrase “Nice guys finish last” and perhaps you’ve experienced it as you watch pushy, inconsiderate guys get the job you want or get the romantic attention of someone you’ve been pining for. It doesn’t seem fair, does it? There’s nothing wrong with being nice, but when you’re so nice to everyone that you stop being nice to yourself, your efforts can backfire. Here are some ways to show people that you value yourself and that they should value you, too.
1. Know the signs of being a “Nice Guy”.
- They believe that if they are good, giving, and caring, that they will get happiness, love and fulfillment in return.
- They offer to do things for a girl they hardly know that they wouldn’t normally do for just anybody else they know.
- They avoid conflict by withholding their opinions or even become agreeable with her when they don’t actually agree.
- They try to fix and take care of her problems, they are drawn to trying to help.
- They seek approval from others.
- They try to hide their perceived flaws and mistakes.
- They are always looking for the “right” way to do things.
- They tend to analyze rather than feel.
- They have difficulty making their needs a priority.
- They are often emotionally dependent on their partner.
There comes a time in a man’s life when he should grow up and get serious about a relationship. Maybe that’s true for some, but surely that doesn’t mean you have to submit to the ways of a dominant and controlling woman, does it? You don’t have to cower in the corner with your emasculated tail between your legs. Hell no!
If you’ve ever wondered whether or not you’re one of the many unfortunate suckers out there who’ve joined the ranks of the whipped (and are probably being mocked and ridiculed for it to boot), take a look at this list of top 10 signs you’re whipped; if you recognize any of them, for God’s sake, man up and do something about it.
1. Going for a beer requires permission
It’s not just going for a beer that requires her permission, so does every other trivial excursion. In the mind of your power-hungry girlfriend, going for a beer with your friends spells out trouble and, therefore, it’s heavily frowned upon. All of a sudden, you can’t even pop into a pub for a quick one at the end of the day without facing a barrage of harassment when you return home. Subsequently, you’ve stopped doing it to avoid the hassle that, for the record, makes you a spineless pansy. This is a big one boys, but our signs you’re whipped doesn’t end here.
2. She makes your decisions for you
You question how you ever let it get to the point where she makes your decisions for you, but it’s true. In your protective prison/womb of a relationship you no longer really make anything more than minor life decisions for yourself. Somehow, she’s managed to grant herself a seat on the UN Security Council that is your life and she’s not afraid to wield her power of veto. As mandated by No. 9 of our signs you’re whipped, you have little or no say in the affairs that directly concern you, such as holiday destinations, major purchases or even plans for the weekend.
Why is it that women flock to some men and ignore others? Is it because of looks, confidence, humor, enthusiasm, personality, status, etc?
Depending on the circumstances and the girl, any one of these ‘reasons’ could be the deciding factor, but that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that these are all symptoms of something deeper, something more fundamental. They are the outward expression of a single ‘rule’ for attracting women.
The problem with most dating advice is that it focuses on developing or exhibiting these traits and ignores the actual cause of these traits. It focuses on ways to ‘fake it’ and get around your inability to attract women.
Some advice involves lying or making up stories to make you seem more attractive. Other advice involves various flavors of changing who you are to make a girl like you.
These methods can work in the short term, but that doesn’t make them right, and in the long term, they usually leave you unhappy because you are rejecting who you really are just so you can get a girl to like you.
The key to becoming attractive is to avoid studying tricks and tactics and work on the inner cause of what makes you an attractive person.
Remember when you were young and you thought love was this invincible, bulletproof force that was immune to outside influence, impervious to evil and capable of overcoming all obstacles? And, then you found out your girlfriend was sleeping with your best friend since a week after you met, and that bubble was ruptured, never to be restored again.
Sorry. Maybe we got a little personal on that one. Maybe, you’re one of the lucky few who remains a fool for love, and the wool has yet to wear away before your eyes. We hate to single-handedly destroy your remaining naivete, but women do cheat. Thankfully, more often than not, these kind of things don’t often happen without some sort of warning. Or in some cases, many. Here are intimations of infidelity that should tentatively raise flags:
Your gut feeling may also be an indicator that something is wrong somewhere. If you have worked on overcoming your jealousy but still feel something is not right and have that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach or you find yourself looking for excuses for your partner’s behaviour-then pay close attention to other things on these signs of cheating spouse for a recurring pattern. Pay close attention to the signs and your instinct but make sure you don’t confuse signs with proof.
She Starts Paying More Attention to Her Appearence
If you girl suddenly starts taking more time with her hair and make up and dressing up without any special occassion then she could be trying to impress whomever she is cheating with. Pay attention especially to her underwear selection since most girls like to wear sexy undergarment when they are with someone new. If she wears granny panties when she is around you but puts on a lace thong to head to work then this could be a sign she is seeing someone.
by Nick Notas
For the first 20 years of my life, my relationships fell into a similar pattern. I’d start dating a girl, we’d be amazing together, and next thing you know, I’m single again.
When I entered a long-term relationship during college, I thought she was the one. Two years later she broke it off and I spent months pissed off about how it was all her fault.
What kind of person would leave a man who treated her so well? Who would be so heartless to throw two years away just like that? I was so good to her and this is what I get in return?
I eventually found the book No More Mr. Nice Guy and realized I had been lying to myself for years. I was anything but nice in my relationships. I was emotionally manipulative, insecure, and a downright asshole.
The truth is that most “nice guys” don’t think they’re doing anything wrong. For years they struggle to attract women and when they finally date one, they end up losing her down the line. They either keep following this path of frustration or do a 180° and try to become a douchebag to have success with women.
I’m here to tell you that the opposite of the “nice guy” is not a jerk, far from it. Jerks have short-term success and are miserable in life. I want to show you how to be the best kind of man you can be: a true gentleman.
by Nick Notas
- The longer you wait to make the first kiss, the less likely it’ll happen. If you haven’t kissed by the third date, your chances drop significantly.
- You can be intimate on the first date and still create a healthy relationship.
- The friend zone happens when there’s a lack of sexual attraction. To avoid it: show your intentions from the start, be more aggressive, flirt, and initiate physical contact.
- All the lines or routines in the world won’t help if you aren’t confident from the inside.
- Dating is a numbers game. The guys who are best with women are the ones willing to put themselves on the line as often as possible.
- Body language and non-verbal communicationwill make or break your first impression. Stand tall, relax your shoulders, walk with self-assurance, give strong eye contact, and smile.
- Your vocal tone and quality conveys a lot about you, so develop a strong speaking voice. Learn diaphragmatic breathing, speak from your chest (diaphragm), project your voice, talk slower, and enunciate clearly.
- Forget trying to come up with the perfect opening line. A simple “Hey, what’s up?” or “Hi, you looked cool and I wanted to introduce myself” is enough. It’s not what you say, it’show you say it.
- An attractive lifestyle will do more for your dating life than almost anything else will. If you’re surrounded by positive people and interesting experiences, she’ll be excited to be a part of that.
By Nick Notas
I see a lot of guys who are afraid to challenge themselves socially using the excuse: “I’m an introvert.” They claim that because of this, they don’t have what it takes to become good at connecting with women. They believe their brains aren’t wired that way and there’s nothing they can do about it.
Here’s something that might shock you…
I’m an introvert! Yes, me, the guy who’s always preaching about pushing yourself to meet new people.
How is that possible? It’s because the real difference between introversion and extraversion is often misunderstood.
Most think that being an introvert automatically means you’re shy and lack confidence. Therefore, an extravert is confident and social. It’s not true at all. While there are correlations, the distinction between the two comes down to:
How you recharge or expend your energy.
Introverts tend to lose energy in large social settings like parties, bars, clubs, and larger groups. They feel drained and to regain that energy they require alone time or intimate interactions. They tend to feel best when with small groups, close friends, or relaxing on their own.
Extraverts tend to lose energy when they’re alone and it can actually frustrate them. Instead, they feel refreshed when they are surrounded by many people and in vibrant environments. All that energy empowers them and gives them the boost they need.
Relationships are like the Big Bang of pick-up. All the rules break down. There are no routines to fall back on, and you are forced to reveal your truest self. What follows is a short list of principles I’ve found to be true in most relationships and for most (healthy) women. They are not rules. Think of them more as guidelines that can help you stay healthy, positive, and open while keeping things in perspective. Bombs away.
1. WOMEN WANT TO HAVE FUN
The old song is true. Girls just want to have fun. If you and your girl don’t have fun, don’t expect her to stick around. This is why, in surveys, women consistently list a sense of humor as the most desirable trait in a partner. It is really difficult to overstate how much this is true.
1a. Here’s what this means for you:
Learn to have fun at any time, no matter what you are doing. And don’t do it for her. Do it for yourself. If you can develop a sense of self-enjoyment, you will never be bored. For example, if you and your lady are walking, and you see a jungle gym, and she squeals and makes a break for it, don’t sulk and quietly wait for her to finish playing. Instead, run as fast as you can, push her out of the way, climb to the top, rip your shirt off, and scream, “I am the king and this is my kingdom! You will never defeat me, infidel!” And when she tries, pounce on her and tickle her until she pees in public. It doesn’t have to be that extreme, of course. Throw popcorn at her during a movie. If she drags you into a women’s clothing store, pull some shiet off the rack, try it on, and ask the clerk’s opinion. Tackle her into bed. Smile. Laugh. Make some memories, for fuk’s sake. Be playful, and never, ever say no to fun.