See Part 1 Here

See Part 2 Here

It seems the once jolly purveyor of Christmas, Santa Claus is finally fed up with all the shit he has to deal with ever year and has taken to his Twitter to express his contempt for Christmas, kids, and life. Here’s a few choice samples of the hate spewing out of his keyboard….

Leaving carrots for my reindeer is real smart kids. The only thing that was missing from reindeer shit was fucking carrots.

Hey Billy from Idaho, your letter says you want a PS3. Santa just changed it to “novelty calculator from Staples”

Johnny from Kansas wants an XBOX. Aw! You deserve it after all the shitting-your-pants you’ve accomplished this year.

“You better watch out, you better not cry.” What is that, a rape anthem? Fucking carols man.

North Pole is full of boring-ass shit. Oh yeah. The elves can make “toys of wonder” but can’t build a couple titty-bars? Bitches.

Sarah, you’ve been good all year. Good job! Too bad your dad’s an alcoholic and your mom’s mentally checked out. Chinese-made Barbie again!

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I’m back.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: So what were we talking about?
MackTrucker2000: you were going to tell me what you were wearing.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Not much. I’m just getting ready for bed.
MackTrucker2000: mmmmmmm. I like that.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I’m over at my friend’s house.
MackTrucker2000: Tell me.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Tell you what?
MackTrucker2000: tell me what you have on
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: No. You tell me what you have on.
MackTrucker2000: I’m wearing a pair of jeans and that’s all.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Gross. Is your big fat stomach hanging over them?
MackTrucker2000: No sugar. Im very good shape. Work out every day.
MackTrucker2000: have six pack.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Lol. Me and my friend Laura are drinking a six pack right now!
MackTrucker2000: I like that. Come on baby tell me
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Ok. I have on a pair of underwear, and Laura’s Superman t-shirt.
MackTrucker2000: Is that all?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Yep.
MackTrucker2000: Is the t-shirt tight?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Yeah. It’s skin tight.
MackTrucker2000: no bra?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Nope. I never sleep in a bra.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It’s too constricting.
MackTrucker2000: mmmmm. I like that.
MackTrucker2000: tell me more
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You like to wear a bra to sleep?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: That’s weird.
MackTrucker2000: lmfao. No i like that you don’t wear one.
MackTrucker2000: I want to slide my hand up your shirt.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Really?
MackTrucker2000: mmmmmm.. yeah.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Well maybe we should get to know each other a little bit better first.
MackTrucker2000: what for.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: What’s your name?
MackTrucker2000: Chuck
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: My name is Sarah
MackTrucker2000: Hahah. Yeah that’s what I figured
MackTrucker2000: so do you like to suck cock sarah
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Wow. You really like to get right to it don’t you?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: What’s your last name, Chuck?
MackTrucker2000: Why do you want it
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I’m just trying to get to know you, that’s all
MackTrucker2000: Well I don’t want to know you that well.
MackTrucker2000: I just want to have a good time
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Ok. Sorry.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I didn’t mean to freak you out.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Where are you from?
MackTrucker2000: MD
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Really? Me too!
MackTrucker2000: No your not your from San Diego.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: How do you know that?
MackTrucker2000: cause it says it on your profile page
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: No, I just put that there to throw people off.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You really have to be careful who you talk to on these things.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I really live in Maryland and I’m really only 18.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I still live at home with my Mom and Dad.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Where in Maryland are you?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I’m in Baltimore.
MackTrucker2000: Im in Manchester
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: No way!
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Get out of here!
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I live in Manchester too!
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I didn’t want to say Manchester because I didn’t think you would know where it is.
MackTrucker2000: Don’t lie, sugar. Lets fuck
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Seriously! I’m not lying.
MackTrucker2000: Ok lets talk about my big cock in your mouth
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Wait a second.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Let’s talk more about you.
MackTrucker2000: don’t want to talk about me
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Gosh, you’re so secretive.
MackTrucker2000: take your panties off sugar.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Ok.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: But first you have to tell me where in Manchester you live.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Come on. I’ll tell you.Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Maybe we already know each other.
MackTrucker2000: doubt it.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You’re so funny
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: My Dad calls me sugar all the time.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I live right near Grace Bible church.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Do you have a picture that I can see?
MackTrucker2000: check my profile
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Oh. Ok. Hold on.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: OMG. Dad, this is Chrissy.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It’s me, Chrissy.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Your daughter? Duhhh. Hello?
MackTrucker2000: shut up whore. I don’t have any daughters.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad, I’m serious. This is really Chrissy.
MackTrucker2000: whats your last name then
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It’s Bolchezk, same as yours.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Evil_Sarah is just my made up name online, Dad.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I’m over here at Laura’s house. remember?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Spending the night?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Hello?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad, are you there?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You’re disgusting.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I hate you.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I’m going to tell Mom about this.
MackTrucker2000: quit trying to mess with me
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad, I’m not kidding.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It’s Chrissy. Our phone number is 410-374-****!
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: We live at **** Charmil Drive, right by Grace Bible Church.
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad?
Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Answer me.
MackTrucker2000: <>