How To Make A Proper Hamburger
June 13, 2013 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Food, How To |
If you don’t have a good bakery in your area – i.e. bakes fresh every day, can tell you details about ingredients and procedures, acts like they give half a shit – make your own. It’s pretty easy, and you can freeze leftover batches for later use. Just take a brioche recipe (my favorite bread), shape it into balls and proof as desired. I like mine *just* pillowy, with a bit of structure still but not too dense – the recipe I use is a high yeast dough (almost half percent total yield) and I proof my 84g buns for about an hour. I like a double egg wash and sesame, but do whatchya like ya bitch.
Meat.
Listen, you can make your dry-aged short rib or wagyu burgers, but it probably will have a hard time competing with Five Guys (seriously, fuck those guys, I’ve lost sleep thinking about how good their bacon burger is). The number one cause of shitty-ass shitburgers? You bought grocery store ground beef; you will get nowhere with that. Grind the best quality chuck roast you can find, and you’re set. Actually, you don’t even need a grinder (even though they’re cheap); you can chop/mince cold beef and get arguably better texture. It just takes longer. I like a mix of about 60 percent chuck and 40 percent brisket. I have a guy who only works with prime, so thats what I’m using. Just leave my expensive sirloin alone. Ya bitch.
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Every Warm Blooded, Whiskey Loving Male Should Know How To Properly Cook A Steak
May 21, 2013 | 5 Comments » | Topics: Food, How To |
5 Comments »
How To Not Be A Creepy Guy
April 10, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: How To |
by heeeeerefishiefishie
It’s about learning to read cues. Most girls (or people in general) don’t like to straight-up tell you “Go away,” but they’ll send a number of signals to indicate that they’re uncomfortable or don’t want to talk to you.
- not responding to messages
- responding with one word
- answering questions but not asking you any (they’re trying to be polite, but not trying to keep the conversation going)
- never initiating contact with you
- keeping conversation at a superficial level, changing the subject when you try to go deeper
- trying to escape the conversation (looking around frequently, looking at phone, talking to other people)
As for things you can do when talking to people:
- A comment on a girl’s physical appearance, especially if you don’t know her, and particularly through the internet, is not the best way to start a conversation. What do you say to “You have a gorgeous smile”? “Um, thanks.” The end. It can go no further.
Try bringing up a mutual interest, mutual experience, etc. and work from there. Show interest in her as a human first, and then bring up her gorgeous smile- not only does it spark more conversational possibilities, it separates you from the creeps who are only interested in banging a hottie and don’t care about the person that hottie might be.
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With few exceptions, any line used to seduce women in porn will NOT work in real life.
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Another killer is a simple, “Hey,” followed by silence. If you want to start the conversation, YOU come up with something to talk about. This goes with just about anyone. We all have that friend who gets bored, pops on chat and says “hey,” hoping we have some way to entertain them.
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Avoid overt sexual comments to anyone you don’t know well, and most girls you do know well. Rule of thumb: Unless she has touched you of her own volition (this includes reciprocating physical contact you have initiated), you probably shouldn’t be bringing up any sort of sex talk.
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In general, avoid opening up too much personal information or asking too much personal information with people you don’t know well. Hate to say it, but people just don’t want to hear it most of the time, and it makes them uncomfortable.
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Know who is and is not your close friend. Someone you’ve met once? Not a close friend. Someone you’ve chatted with occasionally on Facebook? Not a close friend. These people can become close friends, but be on the lookout for signals of interest before getting too excited.
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On a related note, don’t assume that one really good conversation has solidified your connection. It’s easy to get overeager and pull a Tommy Boy[1] . Relationships take time to develop closeness, so even if you feel a connection right away, resist the urge to jump to BFF too soon. (Unless it’s CLEARLY mutual, then congratulations! You got lucky.)
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Respect boundaries. If someone seems uninterested in talking to you, DO NOT PUSH IT.
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If someone doesn’t want to talk to you, let it go. Don’t try to make yourself feel better by insulting them, or try to make them feel guilty by sending them a long-winded sob story. There are 7 billion people on this planet, and odds are a few of them will like you, so don’t worry too much about the others.
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Finally, creepiness is subjective and it’s a term people throw about carelessly these days. There are people who will call you a creep for arbitrary reasons, including some girls who will throw that label onto any guy they don’t want to talk to. Try to keep a realistic view of yourself, get feedback from people you can trust to be honest about your behavior, and don’t give up. Social ineptitude isn’t congenital; you can do it.
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This Might Come In Handy One Day: How To Escape After Being Buried Alive In A Coffin
April 6, 2013 | 4 Comments » | Topics: How To |
It could happen to anyone. People bury a person alive to scare them or to get rid of them. In this situation, rely only on yourself.
- Do not waste oxygen. In a classic coffin there’s only enough oxygen for about an hour, maybe two. Inhale deeply, exhale very slowly. Once inhaled – do not swallow, or you will start to hyperventilate. Do not light up lighters or matches, they will waste oxygen. Using a flashlight is allowed. Screaming increases anxiety, which causes increased heartbeat and therefore – waste of oxygen. So don’t scream.
- Shake up the lid with your hands. In some cheap low-quality coffins you will be able to even make a hole (with an engagement ring or a belt buckle.)
- Cross your arms over your chest, holding onto your shoulders with your hands, and pull the shirt off upward. Tie it in a knot above your head, like so:
This will prevent you from suffocating when the dirt falls on your face.
- Kick the lid with your legs. In some cheap coffins the lid is broken or damaged already after being buried, due to the weight of the ground above it.
- As soon as the lid breaks, throw and move the dirt that falls through in the direction of your feet. When it takes up a lot of space, try pressing the ground to the sides of the coffin with your legs and feet. Move around a bit.
- Whatever you do – your main goal is to sit up: dirt will fill up the empty space and move to your advantage, so no matter what – do not stop and try breathing steadily and calmly.
- Get up. Remember: the dirt in the grave is very loose, so battling your way up will be easier than it seems. It’s the other way around during a rainy weather however, since water makes dirt heavy and sticky.
4 Comments »
Start Your Morning Off With This Super Easy, Super Awesome Recipe: Breakfast Cupcake Sandwiches!
March 25, 2013 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Food, How To |
3 Comments »
One Steak Recipe To Rule Them All: 61 Day Home-Dry-Aged, Sous-Vide, Torched Rib Steaks
March 7, 2013 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Food |
Tender, beefy, nicely charred, and perfectly medium-rare. I started with a 4-rib prime-grade prime-rib roast ("prime rib" is not necessarily "prime grade," you need to make sure it is both! – see here: http://www.seriouseats.com/2010/12/what-is-prime-rib-questions-how-to-cook-christmas-recipe-dry-aged-wet-aged.html) with the fat-cap fully intact (to protect the spinalis muscle). You cannot dry-age inpidual steaks at home, despite what some otherwise reputable sources may have told you. (See here: http://www.seriouseats.com/2013/01/the-food-lab-dry-age-beef-at-home.html).
Dry-Aged
I dry-aged it on a rack in a mini-fridge with a fan stuck in it for 61 days, flipping and rotating it every week or so. After 21 days it’ll be more tender and start to develop flavor. After 45 days, it’s super funky. After 60 days, it’s about as funky as you’ll find at any of the great NY steakhouses – more so than most. It’s aso as tender as butter. The outside gets super dry and tough, with an aroma almost like blue cheese. It must be trimmed before cooking.
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The Most Epic Pancake Concoction You Will Ever Have: Western Bacon Cheeseburger Pancakes!
February 17, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: Food, How To |
Ingredients:
prepared pancake batter (enough for about 6 pancakes)
4 strips bacon, chopped
1/3 lb. ground beef
2/3 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2/3 cup French fried onions, plus more for garnishing
sesame seeds for garnishing
1 tbsp. grill or bbq seasoning
bbq sauce to serve
1. Cook the bacon over medium heat until it is very crisp.
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How To Master Your Time
February 11, 2013 | 1 Comment » | Topics: How To, Life |
The secret to time management is simple: Jedi time tricks.
Imagine you were a Jedi master called Bob (your parents, whilst skilled in the ways of the force weren’t the best at choosing names). The love of your life – Princess Lucia – is trapped in a burning building as you hurry to save her.
You might think of Lucia as the embodiment of your dreams, your aspirations – she is your most important thing.
Unfortunately, before you can reach her an army of stormtroopers open fire. The incoming stream of lasers demand your attention – if you fail to dodge them, you’re dead. You might think of them as an urgent distraction from saving your princess.
We all know how a hero resolves this dilemma. If he takes his eye off the ultimate goal – his princess – then all his other efforts are for nought. He can engage an army of stormtroopers, cutting them down with graceful ease, but their numbers are limitless, and whilst momentarily satisfying they only distract him. Delayed too long, his princess will die.
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