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Hot girls doing the wall splits!

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They do things a bit differently in Texas

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Rare and intimate photographs of the Yakuza

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The art of Anton Vill is awesomely trippy

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The Greatest Action Movie Ever Made

April 1, 2014 | 1 Comment » | Topics: main, Movies |

commando

Did it ever happen in your life that you’ve seen such a beautiful movie, such a perfect piece of art, such an unbelievable example of man-made splendor, such a gorgeous masterpiece that it hurt your eyes? Well, I did. And it wasn’t the Schindler’s List or the Lord of the Rings. No, it was the BEST action movie ever made. The BEST interpretation of the Governator. The BEST explosions. The BEST one-liners. The BEST plot. And the BEST tag-line. This movie is like the Art of Japanese gardening. Simple and beautiful. Balanced. Proportioned. There’s just the right amount of everything. And there is just about everything that should go into an action movie: car chases, explosions, drug-lords, sex, an invincible hero, sitting-duck-like enemies, humor, knife duels, fist fights, rocket launchers, blood, death, bullets, glass, pectorals, muscles, some more muscles, explosions and more explosions. You need more? It’s got Arnold. Need more? It’s got Arnold with a sense of humor. Still more? It’s got Arnold with a sense of humor and a rocket launcher. Put these three elements together and try to guess what happens. Destruction. On a mass scale. I won’t give away the plot, because it is too intricate and surprising. Basically it is Arnie on a mission to save his daughter. That’s about it. But what is important is not the fact that Arnie will save his daughter, but HOW will he save his daughter. Oh, are you saying that The Matrix is the best action movie of all time? Does The Matrix have Arnold Schwarzenegger? NO. Does Commando have the Matrix? YES. JOHN MATRIX, in fact. Oh, so you are saying that Neo dodges bullets? John Matrix doesn’t need to. He is bulletproof. He eats bullets for breakfast. Need more proof? I thought so… I gave this Caravaggio painted on celluloid a 10 only because IMDb doesn’t go to 11. This movie is so eye-blindingly beautiful I can’t find the words to properly end my commentary and render justice to this cinematic masterpiece. So I will just use the movie’s tag-line: Somewhere… somehow… someone’s going to pay!

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Pictures And Descriptions From The Making Of ‘The Shining’

October 28, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: Movies |

Filming title sequence

Filming title sequence

The helicopter and camera rig used to film the title sequence, in which we follow Jack Torrance’s yellow Volkswagen on its way to the Overlook Hotel. The 2nd Unit crew had permission to film in Montana’s Glacier National Park, but they were not allowed to land in the park except in an emergency. As such, they would often have to hover just a foot or two off the ground so that 2nd Unit Director Greg MacGillivray (who was also driving the Volkswagen) could check the cameras and clean the lenses, which would become encrusted with squashed bugs.

The Torrance Family

The Torrance Family

The helicopter footage shot for the title sequence was originally intended to be used only for that sequence. For the later sequence where Jack Torrance returns to The Overlook with Wendy and Danny, Kubrick had originally planned to use a series of ground-based shots showing the yellow Volkswagen towing a small trailer with the family’s possessions. Those shots were filmed by the 2nd unit crew, but during the editing process, Kubrick decided not to use them. He instead made use of more of the footage that had been shot for the title sequence. Many have speculated as to how the Torrance family could have possibly brought all the luggage shown in the hotel’s lobby when they arrive. This explanation answers that question. 2nd Unit camera operator Jeff Blyth, Jeff’s wife, and their camera assistant doubling for the Torrance family in many unused shots of the car and wearing costumes from the film. Note their “Tony” finger poses.

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A Viewing Of The Return Of The Living Dead Is Definitely In Order

October 19, 2013 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Movies |

This is one of those very rare films that combines good black humor with bloody, messy gore and does it perfectly. Long before `28 Days Later’ appeared, `Return of the Living Dead’ presented us with FAST zombies, zombies who could run, jump and work together like a football team, tackling people and making it a group effort to tear their victims apart. There are very few slow, shuffling monsters here; these are zombies to contend with. They talk, they think, they problem solve. Who could ever forget the Tar Man (my personal favorite) rigging up a device to tear down the metal closet doors, behind which our heroine has locked herself? 
This film never lets up, not for one minute. There are no long explanation scenes, no boring set-up, just in-your-face excitement from the very first scene. It is the perfect homage to the Romero films; there is no happy ending here, only an ironic twist which will make even the most cynical doomsayer grin. This film is already a cult classic and deserves its status. It’s as close to flawless as you can get.

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The Greatest Worst Movie Of All Time: The Room

October 16, 2013 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Movies |

Forget Godfather, forget Citzen Kane, forget Schindler’s List, forget what you read, forget what you watched, The Room is hands down the best movie ever made. Written, directed and produced by Tommy Wisseau, The Room is everything and anything and even more than you could ask for in a movie. It’s drama, it’s suspense, it’s mystery, it’s an exploration into the human condition, it’s timeless, it’s a masterpiece. I could go on and on but my words are futile to such a genius piece of work….

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If Anyone Wants To Regret An Hour And A Half Of Their Life, Watch THIS

June 4, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: Movies |

fantastic four the movie

I bought it from a comic-con about ten years ago. He had it hidden under the table. It was very much like buying a monkeys’s paw from a bazaar in Morocco. The wrinkly old man in the crimson robe (to be fair he was dressed like a sith lord) warned me. “I will sell it to you, but you must never watch it. For if you do bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity.” So I said “yeah whatever.” And threw my ten bucks at him whilst snatching it from his hand. I quickly returned home to watch it. The horrors contained inside that little blue box can’t be described. The acting, the effects, the mole men! Oh god why? Since then I’ve lost my job, my wife left me, and my pets keep dying. I can’t sell or trade the damn thing because I don’t want anyone else to go through what I’ve seen. So it just sits there on my DVD shelf waiting to claim it’s next victim.

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These Movie Portraits By Mike Mitchell Are Too Damn Awesome!

April 26, 2013 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Art |

awesome movie portraits

awesome movie portraits

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6 Famous Movies Fixed!

October 25, 2012 | 1 Comment » | Topics: LOLs |

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Halloween Would Not Be Complete Without A Viewing Of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

October 25, 2012 | No Comments » | Topics: Movies |

texas chainsaw massacre

First, the movie. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is probably one of the scariest movies ever made. It was unique for its time, and there’s still nothing quite like it today. The plot doesn’t sound like much- 2 women and 3 men make a drive to rural Texas to check out a graveyard that has been ‘defiled’, and to also relax and enjoy themselves. This last part of their vacation plan doesn’t go real smoothly, as they make the mistake of wandering into an area where an insane, backwoods, inbred, cannibalistic sociopathic family live. Things get more and more horrifying from there. The film builds up suspense like no other and when the murders do actually happen they are not ruined, like many other horrors, by almost comical deaths, they are nasty! This film is gritty and raw, with documentary like visuals which only add further to the sense of fear which you can almost smell. The acting is brilliant, its laid back yet energetic at the same time. Never have I seen fear portrayed as realistically as Marilyn Burns haunting display in this movie (but then again I never looked at myself in the mirror while watching the film). All of the factors in this film mix to make an evil couldron of depravity, that’ll make you too afraid to look but even more scared when you close your eyes. This film is the freakiest i’ve ever seen and to say i enjoyed it seems kind’a sick as the killings are so realistic and depraved, but there’s no denying it, I loved it and you will too.

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