Not Only Did Mario Götze Score The Game Winning Goal, He Also Scored A Super Hot Girlfriend In Ann-Kathrin Brommel
Gotta give some props to the dude notlookoutawhale for creating a brilliant piece of work.
A Breakdown Of All The Different Soccer Positions For All Those That Just Jumped On The World Cup Bandwagon, Like Myself
The goalkeeper is simply known as the guy with gloves who keeps the opponents from scoring. He has a special position because only him can play the ball with his hands (provided that he is inside his own penalty area and the ball was not deliberately passed to him by a team mate).
Aside from being the last line of defense, the goalkeeper is the first person in attack. That is why keepers who can make good goal kicks and strategic ball throws to team mates are valuable.
The goalie has four main roles: saving, clearing, directing the defense, and distributing the ball. Saving is the act of preventing the ball from entering the net while clearing means keeping the ball far from the goal area.
The goalkeeper has the role of directing the defense since he is the farthest player at the back and he can see where the defenders should position themselves.
Distributing the ball happens when a goalkeeper decides whether to kick the ball or throw it after making a save. Where the keeper throws or kicks the ball is the first instance of attack.
Some of history’s finest goalkeepers are Lev Yashin, Gordon Banks, Dino Zoff, Peter Schmeichel, and Gianluigi Buffon.
It’s actually insane to conceptualize. I think about the best player I know in my pick up games, who’s incredible and has such an insane shot, but he isn’t even the best on the school team. Which isn’t even the best in our conference. Which is nowhere near the best in our region. Which is nowhere near the best in the nation, and that’s not even counting academy teams/club teams. And our nation (usa) is nowhere near the best in the world.
The BEST player we have ever produced is Clint Dempsey–think about that, of all these teams and leagues, he is the very best we have. And how insane is Clint Dempsey’s shot when you’re not just watching on your television? And I’m not bashing Clint Dempsey, it’s just on the world stage he’s nowhere near the best, but when you conceptualize it like I just did, he must be absolutely insane, but the level of competition in the world is just even better. We constantly criticize certain defensemen, but think of the insane level of ability to be able to maintain a place in the EPL or la liga. Same goes for attackers. Just crazy to think about. I think about what a challenge it will be to face a certain team in our conference who’s undefeated, and then I realize how crazy it must be to look at your schedule and see FC Barcelona.
Fucking Jonnhy Football scored a 32 on his Wonderlic Test, which was one of the highest of the 2014 QB class. The Wonderlic Test is a 12-minute, 50-question exam that is designed to measure learning and problem-solving abilities. The test is given to almost every draft-eligible player, and it has been administered by the NFL for more than 30 years. The questions are not especially difficult, in and of themselves, but the compressed time frame is a wild card that can make questions seem more challenging. Let’s put Johnny’s score in perspective with the wonderlic scores for each NFL team’s starting QB:
These young bucks don’t know. You gotta remember a lot of these NBA players aren’t even old enough to drink when they get in the league; they’re still babies. They’ve been coddled their entire life, all through school and college, and now they get out in the real world with a pocket full of cash and every type of girl you could imagine trying to pull your sweatpants off. See, before you got that contract, while you were in school, you were just a prospect. You probably got a lot of attention from women, but your success wasn’t a guarantee. Once you start pulling in them bucks, the type of women you encounter drastically change. Straight up jaw droppers wherever you turn. That’s not an accident.
These kids don’t understand that once you’re in the real world, sex becomes a business move, for both parties. Even for us mortals, money is a big factor in your sex life. I don’t care who you are, you know that shit is important. (Protip from Uncle Snuggie: if you got money, just don’t fuck broke bitches. Just don’t, change your phone number if you have to. Move to the other side of the country to somewhere broke bitches cant afford to go. They will ruin everything I don’t care how pretty they are get a bitch with some capital. That’s real shit. Get a Kim Kardashian. She stupid and probably can’t read but she got money and won’t take that much from you in divorce proceedings because of that. Be with someone who can throw in the pot too.)
The Dwight Howard’s of the world don’t understand that there’s a price tag hanging off his nutsack. Dwight Howard is easily shelling out 6 figures a year per baby mama. (The fuck you need 100k a year to raise a baby? I could raise my whole hood 6 times with that kind of paper all babies need is somethin to rattle and someone to wipe they ass) That’s more money than most of us will ever make in our lives, even those of us with professional and graduate degrees. 18 years, 18 years, she got one of yo kids, got you for 18 years.
I think every citizen, NBA or not, should know how divorce/family laws work, especially if you ever fuck around and get paid. You find out how much Uncle Sam will take out of your pocket cause you wanted to fuck raw and it’ll turn you into a nun; keep your dick on a leash kid.
When you’re young and naive if you believe in shit like the purity of “love” and all that other liberal hippie crap Disney shoves down your throat as a child you can fall victim to a big butt and a smile quite easily.
That’s real shit