Things That Are Hard To Say When You’re Drunk
Thursday, May 3rd, 2012Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk… a) Innovative b) Preliminary c) Proliferation d) Cinnamon Things that are VERY difficult to say when you’re drunk… a) Specificity b) British Constitution c) Passive-aggressive disorder d) Transubstantiate Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you’re drunk… a) Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep [...]
The Writing Assignment
Monday, April 23rd, 2012The following is a true story received from an English professor. This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted) and Gary (last name deleted). English 44A SMU Creative Writing Prof. Miller In-Class Assignment for Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. [...]
Read This If You Want To Ruin All Your Dreams And Ambitions Of Becoming A Superhero
Friday, April 6th, 2012Given our current technology and with the proper training, would it be possible for someone to become Batman? (via) by Mark Hughes I know everyone hates having a question answered with "it depends," but… It depends. WHICH Batman, the one in the current film franchise, the one from the current monthlies, the one from the Justice [...]
Firsthand Account Of What’s It Like To Be A Drug Dealer
Monday, April 2nd, 2012In a single word, being a drug dealer was exhilarating. Immense rewards, more than I realized at the time, but also unbelievable stress, unavoidable paranoia, and most difficult of all, an existence in a world that does not ‘exist’ by traditional standards. I can’t speak to what it’s like peddling product on the street or life [...]
What Does It Feel Like To Be Stupid?
Thursday, March 29th, 2012The following is a very unusual account of a true but unusual experience: I had an arterial problem for a couple of years, which reduced blood supply to my heart and brain and depleted B vitamins from my nerves (to keep the heart in good repair). Although there is some vagueness as to the mechanisms, this [...]
This Deserves A Slow Clap: There Are No Girls On The Internet
Thursday, March 29th, 2012If l can pontificate a bit, for your edification, one of the rules of the Intemet is "there are no girls on the Intemet". This rule does not mean what you think it means. In real life, people like you for being a girl. They want to fuck you, so they pay attention to you [...]
10 Myths About Introverts
Monday, March 26th, 2012Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk. This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days. Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. Shyness has nothing to do with being an [...]
How To Reject A Rejection Letter Like A BOSS
Friday, February 3rd, 2012Herbert A Millington Chair – Graduate Studies Committee Whatsa Matta University College Hill, MA 01610 Dear Professor Millington, Thank for your letter of April 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me admission to your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate [...]
The Definitive Guide To Extraordinary Sexual Moves Performed By Men
Thursday, January 5th, 2012Here is a fairly extensive compilation of some of the extraordinary sexual activities that can be performed by men: 1. Hot Lunch – While receiving head from a woman, you proceedto shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer) 2. The Stranger – Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, [...]
For All Those That Grew Up Watching Nickelodeon….The Ultra Depressing Reality Of Rugrats Exposed
Monday, November 21st, 2011The babies in Rugrats don’t exist and are products of Angelica’s imagination because her mother ignores her and her relationship with her father is shallow and parasitic. In reality, Chuckie died along with his mother, which is why Chaz is such a nervous wreck. Tommy was a stillborn, which causes Stu to sit in the [...]
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