When I nutted but she still suckin
When both me and my friend refuse to pick up the tab
When windows update starts automatically just before my presentation
When the teacher uses my paper as an example of what *not* to do
When the girl I like says she likes unpredictable men
When I found out that Martin Shkreli, the CEO that hiked price of HIV-treating drug, arrested on securities fraud charges
When someone tries to start a flashmob Christmas Carol on my subway
When my wife whispers to me in a public place “did you just fart?”
When I overhear my neighbor bellow “DON’T YOU EVER THREATEN MY KIDS WITH A HAMMER AGAIN.
When I’m drunk, it’s last call, and the only girl left at the bar is this 300 pound chick.
When I’m reading the comments on a video review of a dishwasher, and I see somebody commented "FUCK ISLAM"
When I lose in Mario Kart but still need to finish the lap
When I hear my phone alarm as someone else’s ringtone.
When I get put with 4 Asian kids for a group project