What is it like to train on steroids?
This answer is based on testosterone. Other steroids can vary… although broadly similar.
Once they start to kick in, you’ll notice:
- Improved strength – nothing crazy, but you will consistently increase your current max weights every week of your cycle. In every exercise. If you have hit a plateau anywhere you’ll smash through it. You need to be careful you don’t damage joints and tendons (although with testosterone the added water helps with this).
- Improved endurance. You’ll be able to do more reps and more sets before you run out of power. There’s just more gas in the tank.
- Improved focus. It’s much easier to make the mind-muscle connection. Rather then dragging your tired ass through a difficult workout – you’ll be fully focused on every movement and what muscle you are hitting. You’ll be able to channel the added focus/aggression to your goals.
- Improved recovery. You’ll be able to hit it hard in the gym every time – because you won’t be sore from the previous punishing you gave yourself. You can train every day of the week without significant soreness. Sometimes you feel like you can train twice a day. I always give the example of my leg day. On cycle I can do an insane squatting session, then wake up the next day like nothing happened. Normally that would be me effectively disabled for a couple of days. I get bad DOMS in the legs… but not on cycle.
- Improved libido. Be careful which hot gym girls you look at and what you let wander into your thoughts, because you’ll have yourself a giant unwanted erection. It’s happened to me on a treadmill before to the point where I had to stop!
- Overall feeling of well being and that “everything is gonna be ok”.
What they won’t do:
- Change your personality. If you are getting “roid rage” then chances are you are a jackass already.
- Improve your shit form. Learn the correct moves before you start.
- Turn you into the Hulk on your first cycle.
Don’t forget that this is all temporary – when you stop taking them you’ll face a steady journey downhill to weakness. Sure you can keep SOME gains, but not anywhere near as much as you’ll want to. Your body strives to return to it’s natural baseline. This is not pleasant and it will make you want to stay on the gear 24–7 for life.
Of course there are some other major “safety” considerations, but the question was specifically about what it feels like so I’ll leave it there.
What was the ‘Deliverance’ Machine?
The “Deliverance Machine”, invented by Philip Nitschke was a euthanasia device which consisted of a notebook computer and software titled “Deliverance”, which asks the patient a series of questions, and automatically administers a lethal injection of barbiturates if the correct answers are made.
The following three questions were displayed on the laptop screen and required the patient to click the “Yes” button in order to proceed:
1. Are you aware that if you go ahead to the last screen and press the “Yes” button, you will be given a lethal dose of medications and die?
2. Are you certain you understand that if you proceed and press the “Yes” button on the next screen that you will die?
3. In 15 seconds you will be given a lethal injection… press “Yes” to proceed.
How does a doctor go about revealing to his patient that he has a terminal illness?
They teach us to get down to the patient’s level, so it doesn’t feel like you’re talking down to them (literally and figuratively). But, ideally you wouldn’t tell them bad news in the waiting room. You would want to do it in an exam room or your office, where both of you can sit comfortably facing each other.
I was surprised to learn there is actually a really structured way on how to tell a patient bad news. Literally a 6 step process that all physicians are taught to follow.
For this example lest say the patient has lung cancer.
Generally the first step involves saying something like What is your current understanding of your condition or what have you been told so far this is to determine how much the patient knows. Because if the patient has been told the news by the radiology staff or another physician, you are just going to look stupid when you deliver the actual news (that the patient has cancer).
The second step is to say something like I’m sorry, but I have some bad news or I’m sorry, I truly wish I had better news for you this is what we call a warning shot. Basically it primes the patient’s brain to accept the following sentence. These phrases help lessen the anticipation. Because, in a way, you have already told the patient the bad news without actually saying they have cancer.
The third step would be to actually say the news. Something like I’m sorry, but I have some bad news. The biopsy indicates you have invasive lung cancer some interesting things about this phrase is that it’s short, simple, and pretty much universally understandable by anyone who isn’t familiar with medicine. Things we aren’t supposed to say would be like you have stage 4 small cell carcinoma instead of just you have cancer. Because a patient might misunderstand what you are saying.
The fourth step is to just be quiet. After you break the news to them the patient’s brain will be flooded with emotion, adrenaline, and all kinds of thoughts. The rule of thumb is to be quiet for at least 10 seconds. It’s important to let the patient process the news.
Interestingly, the hard part isn’t even telling them they have cancer. It’s answering any questions they might have and being supportive without being too emotional. The fifth step is to find out if they have questions and provide them with answers. Some hard questions a patient might have would be, Is this because of the smoking, is this my fault, did I do this to myself, am I the reason my children will grow up without a mother? or the patient might just break down. I imagine it would be incredibly difficult to keep composure if the patient says something like I just found out my wife is pregnant and there is no chance I will get to witness the birth of my first child.
The last step is to develop a plan for follow up care. Find out what the patient’s goals are. Do they want chemo or just hospice care? Chemo would offer a slightly increased life span (the life expectancy might increase from 3 months to 5 months) but your life could be miserable during those two extra months. Some patients know the prognosis is terminal no matter what is done, and they choose not to have any chemo so their last few months on earth can be a happy and comfortable experience. So, depending on the patient’s goals (extending their life vs maintaining their quality of life) you would help them accordingly.
How do you die from a crucifixion?
Quite interestingly, most often suffocation then drowning. The weight of your body as it pulls you down with your arms splayed out pushes up your ribcage against your lungs. Making it nearly impossible to pull in a breath. The lack of oxygen causes damage to tissues and blood vessels, allowing fluid to diffuse out of the blood into the lungs and around the heart.
Fun fact, the holy lance or spear of destiny (used to check if Jesus was dead) was to see if clear fluid would run from the wound when his lung was pierced, confirming death. Most people believe the spear was to coup de grace but prisoners were usually unresponsive for a while before being lanced.
What does it feels like to miss out on relationships until later in life
Honestly, yes, I do feel like I “missed out.” As I’ve grown older, I believe more and more that a sense of relational exploration is vital in one’s adolescent years. I went to a high school where I didn’t have the opportunity to explore that side of myself and college … well, suffice to say that college sucked, too. It leaves you feeling stunted and underdeveloped, and like you’re waiting on some train you’re not sure even exists. Not to mention the lack of self-trust you experience because you don’t know if you can trust yourself with any possible relationship. Always wondering, “will I stay because I don’t know better?” or “will I leave because I’m always wondering what else is out there and I’m afraid to ‘settle’?” It gets old walking around feeling like an impending mid-life crisis.
And then you have to hear from a bunch of people telling you how “it’ll happen at the right time” and yaddayadda, all while they’re fucking each other and not you. Or listening to other people tell you how “it’s not really that big a deal,” all the while failing to realize that they have those experiences to draw wisdom from and you … don’t. You don’t have anything. Feeling like you can’t be honest in telling a girl, “Yeah, this is my first real relationship,” because of perceived social stigmas against emotionally underdeveloped and inexperienced males. So you put on this mask, pretending like you know what you’re doing, knowing the whole time you have fucking clue what you doing or talking about.
How effective are knuckle dusters in a real street fight?
I was having a few drinks with some Scottish men outside of a nightclub called ‘Spicy’ in the late evening hours. There were probably about 20 – 30 other people milling around on the street outside of Spicy, some drinking, some trying their best moves on the women they were with. These Scottish men seemed pretty cool, other than their conservative dress, they had a wicked sense of humor. They mentioned that they were just passing through and worked in the oil industry. They introduced me to a local Thai man that they said was their ‘man about town’ showing them what to do and where to go. It was the night before Songkran, the biggest holiday in Thailand, where the country basically shuts down for several days, at least so in Chiang Mai, Thailand where we were. It is one of the biggest and funnest parties on the planet.
Just as I was talking with one of the men, I got ‘cold cocked’ with a wicked punch from behind at 45 degrees from the Thai man wearing a metal knuckle duster. Just as that wicked punch landed on my right jaw, just beside my nose, several of the Scottish men took pot shots at me as well.
I never fell down, there was blood gushing from my nose and was all over my white tee shirt. I screamed like a drill sergeant (I am an infantry combat veteran) and said “where in the fuck is that little shit that punched me” Now women were screaming, people were running about, I could see several of the Scottish men running, and just then one of the bouncers of Spicy handed me a broom handle (I had a very good relationship with the staff of that bar as I had spent a lot of time and money and was a big tipper).
I ran to where I could see one of the Scottish men and wicked him with the broom handle as he was trying to start his motor bike. He turned to me and said “Mate, Im sorry, but I didn’t do anything, Im really sorry” He looked to be only around 22 or 23, and I didn’t see him punch me, I think it was only a couple of the 5 men that took the pot shots at me. I said “Where in the fuck is that Thai guy, and where are your buddies?”
Mate, I really dont know. I told him to go.
By now the street had pretty much cleared up of people, and I took my shirt off and put pressure on my nose to stop the bleeding, and then rode my motor bike to the hospital. By now the adrenaline had wore off and I was feeling the pain. They took and X-Ray, and said that my jaw had been fractured in 3 places, and that they were going to have to put several stitches on the right side of my lower nose out towards my jaw.
I was not knocked out, and I was not even knocked to the ground. I dont say this to brag. I am 6′3″ and 245 lbs. and was training in Muay Thai for the last year. In addition to that I have been in several street fights and have took some heavy shots to my face and body and have never been knocked down. I think the reason I was not knocked down or knocked out was that the man who took the shot with the knuckle duster was a short man probably about 5′5″ and only about 140 lbs, and he hit me at an angle. In addition to that, I have been hit many times, and in the last year of Muay Thai training have taken a fair amount of hard shots, so Im sort of used to it. So his small size and light weight, angle of punch from behind to a man that is almost a foot taller and 100 lbs heavier. All of this taken into effect is why I most likely did not get knocked down or out.
However, the damage was done, he fractured my jaw in 3 places and I had to get 9 stitches on my face that was swollen for the better part of a week.
I’ll tell you what, I would not want any man to be on the end of me punching him with a metallic knuckle duster. Not only would he have a severe concussion, that damned thing destroys the flesh it hits, and would probably have to get cosmetic surgery. Knuckle dusters are evil, and any man that uses them is a fucking pussy. The Karma he will endure shall make him suffer more than he could ever imagine.