Disclaimer: We do not condone the use of drugs, this is for entertainment and educational purposes only
On saturday, a group of friends and I made our way to a neutral location to ride the white pony all night long. We dumped the white rocks onto a mirror and cut it with a razor until we had the perfect powder consistency. I cut a line, rolled a $20 bill and snorted. It was so smooth, I expected the first time to be less comfortable than it turned out to be. I waited for everyone else to get a line and then we went around for the second nostril. About 15 minutes or so later, I started to feel really good. I was extremely happy, loving and care-free…I felt like a million bucks. But it was nothing like I had expected. The whole time I was waiting for one distinct moment when I would feel a rush of euphoria wash over my body. That never happened, instead it just kind of manifested itself in the form of extreme comfortability with the people I was with. Time did not progress as it usually does. That was probably one of the most bizarre aspects of the drug; the whole night just seemed to fly by, yet we did so much. We talked for hours, walked for hours, and all in all just enjoyed each others company all night long.
There was no option of sleep…coke gets me so hyped up, that I literally cannot sit still. And even when I do, my body will continue to maintain an elevated heart rate. It was like exercising without moving my body. There was also absolutely no desire for food. I was on the drug for 8 hours total and did not need to eat for 12 hours after my last line. But as expected, the drug started to wear off about an hour or so after the last line. I still felt good, no signs of depression or the need (not want) to do more. Unfortunately, everyone else was beginning to come down, some were really irritable and others just seemed down. Indirectly, this made me feel a bit depressed, so we decided to do some more lines. After this, the happy feelings came back and everyone was back to talking and having a great time. We continued snorting until we all had had at least 200 mg. At some point within this large time frame, I started to get super paranoid, but because I knew to expect it, I could somewhat disregard the feelings.
At this point, I started feeling like I was enjoying the lines a lot more than everyone else, and in my head, I thought everyone was staring at me and thinking what a big cokehead I was. I couldn’t stop looking around the room at everyone to make sure they weren’t glaring at me. This was very strange to me because I am usually such a calm person, but all of a sudden I became so paranoid and my palms started sweating and I couldn’t stop moving my feet. Another side effect was extreme dry mouth. I found that I was constantly sniffing, which caused me to swallow uncontrollably. I couldn’t stop swallowing to save my life, and water wasn’t really working, so, in my current state, I decided to swallow lubricant (the edible kind of course), and amazingly, it worked like a charm. It coated my throat and tongue and kept the uncomfortable dry mouth at bay. I would also recommend chewing gum, although alone, it does not work as well as with lubricant.
All in all, I did not suffer from post-cocaine usage depression, nor did I feel that bad in the morning, but then again, I hadn’t slept a wink. My heart rate was still elevated in the morning when I tried to go to sleep.
Eventually I slept, but not for long and with lots of startling awakenings form the slightest sound (residual paranoia…). Another thing I did not feel was the urge to do another line. I can honestly say that I will never have to do cocaine again, whether or not I want to is a totally different story. I would offer the following advice to all those contemplating using coke: it is a very powerful drug, but nothing is more powerful than one’s own willpower. Know that the drug is not physically addictive, rather, it is very pschyologically addictive. So be very careful and do not misinterpret the desire to do more coke as a need for it. It is very possible to do coke once or often and never form a dependancy on the drug, one just has to be extremely careful with what one is dealing with. Cocaine is not an escape from the mundane aspects of everyday life. I implore people not to use this drug if they are depressed or trying to hide from problems, which will only perpetuate themselves into an even larger and more dangerous ordeal.
About 30 minutes went past, and I began to worry if we’d gotten bad pills again. My friend reassured me that it would hit, but to just be patient. 10 minutes passed, and I felt something hit me… but it was almost like an alarming type of thing. I told my friend I think it’s coming now. She agreed and we walked to my boyfriend’s room, and I had a casual conversation before K and I walked back to the other bed. About a minute or two later, it hit me full force! I had an overwhelming feeling of happiness engulf me! It was too much to bear. I ran back to my boyfriend’s room along with K and yelled out, ‘I’m so happy!’ My boyfriend and T looked at me in confusion.
I jumped on the bed, rolling around as I felt on the sheets. Everything felt so nice against my skin. I felt the need to tell everyone how much I loved them and wanted them in my life.
I felt the need to tell everyone how much I loved them and wanted them in my life.
I even told the dog and gave him a hug! I was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life and I kept saying it. All my emotions were spilling out, and I couldn’t control it. I said whatever came to mind, whatever I felt, without any sort of fear and anxiety for the consequence. Every emotion was amplified x10! I had nothing but good feelings of happiness, love, unity, and peace. I wanted all my friends to know how special they were to me, and how much I enjoyed having them in the my life. Eventually, my friend K had to leave. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug and told her I loved her about 5 times before she left.
So it was only my boyfriend and T left in the house. I’m not sure if T left the room but all I remember is hugging my boyfriend and telling him how much I loved him. I just kept saying, ‘I love you!’ And he would say it back, and I’d say ‘YAY!’ over and over for what seemed like hours. But it was probably for a good 20 minutes. It was almost as if I blacked out because I don’t remember it fully. Me and my boyfriend walked to the other bed and began to make out. One touch led to another and eventually we had sex (for the first time, ever). We had been dating for a good six months but never had sex. And man, was it was the most mind-blowing experience of my life! Every touch was amplified! I had so much love emitting from my body and I felt so at peace and close to my boyfriend. I never realized how much I truly loved him until the day I rolled. This was very important for me to realize because I had never felt that way about a guy before. I realized he was my first love, and I cared about him deeply.
…And the music was another story. Songs took on such a beautiful tone! Every song I listened to became my favorite song. I couldn’t help but sway my body to the incredible music. It felt like I was perfectly in tune with each beat. I truly loved to dance on E! For awhile I just laid on the bed with my boyfriend, listening to music. I could feel myself coming down gradually. I was saddened, but after wards I had an imense afterglow! I was still so very happy about my experience even after I was sober. It changed my whole perspective on life. I realized I shouldn’t be afraid to try new things, or meet new people, or say how I felt! It was an important revelation for me.
A couple of friends from out of state showed up one friday with some ice. After quite a bit of persuasion, my bf and I decided to try it out. My main concern was that it would speed up my heart beat and I really don’t like things that mess with my pulse. They assured me that it wasn’t like speed or coke. And I wasn’t disappointed.
I am not really sure about the dose, as they did everything for me (except smoke it!) I think it only took 1 or 2 crystals in the shalay (3 hits) to get me off. It was pretty much, instantaneous. Maybe 2 or 3 mins before I started to feel good. This was around 3-5pm. By feeling good, I mean I felt almost euphoric. I was really up, and happy. I felt energetic, but not sped up. My heart rate remained calm and even and I was not nervous or fidgety at all.
I did get the sudden urge to go outside and jump on my neighbors trampoline. (I hope he didn’t mind, cause I didn’t ask!) The plan was to go to a dance club and a strip club that nite (as I had never been to a strip club before) and well, dancing is a great way to spend some of the energy I had. We drove to a big city (because where we live is a southern baptist bible belt, dry ass (no bars), small minded town). Not that I don’t like it here, you just have to drive a long way to have fun.
We smoked about a quarter bag of ice between the four of us and crushed and snorted a line a piece, and did one hot rail a piece before leaving the house that night at 9pm. So about four hours of time with about a quarter and a half of ice between four people.
I never felt any different than when I first hit it earlier that day, but I still continued to take the hits offered to me by my friends.
Upon reaching our first destination (motel room) we got ready to go out and did some more ice. It was probably around 11pm when we got there. We probably did about another quarter between the four of us again. We never made it to the dance club, as it was already 2 am before we actually left the room, and no one else wanted to go dancing but me. But we did go to the strip club which was open until 6am! And I did get my first lap dance from this really hot chick!!!!My bf paid and then enjoyed the show!!! That was a grrrreat time!
We left the club at 5:30am and went back to the room. We ended up doing more ice, off and on, until around 12 noon. So total was between 2 and 3 quarter bags, between 4 people, in 8 hours. I had no fatigue at all was still feeling pretty good. A little restless, but I think that was due to the fact that I am normally an up person and constantly moving anyway. We started heading home around 2pm Saturday and I started coming down pretty hard.
One of the reasons I wanted to share my experience with you was because of what I learned from this drug. For a first time user don’t over do it. I didn’t realize that. Just one dose would’ve been enough to keep me going all night and I may not have crashed as hard as I did. I already suffer from manic depression. I am not currently being treated though because I can’t afford the meds or the doctors (thanks hmo’s). Therefore when I came down, I came down hard. I couldn’t eat for four days and even then I had to make myself eat just a couple of bites here and there. I had outbursts of crying, and anger, and stress, and worry, and anxiety (you get the picture). It was the worst case of manic depression I have ever suffered through. I didn’t sleep much for the first three days. About 5 or 6 hours total, and I couldn’t function at all. And I couldn’t stop talking for 5 minutes at a time for about three days. So basically what I want to say to you is please be careful! If you suffer from depression like I do, take it slow and make sure you have someone you can talk to when your coming down.
It all happened on a warm day of September, 3th September 2017. Me and my friend already had a small experience with this substance (Psilocybe Tampanensis, Philosophers Stone), but all we achieved was disappointment, probably due to a lacking dose; this time the dose was fairly enough to have a decent Level 3 to 4 trip. I drove to him at 12PM, he lives about 35km far, he lives in a countryside place full of woods.
Firstly, he took me to a big forest, which sadly was entirely burnt, we laughed at how we would be getting such a bad trip in there as everything was black and burned, so we moved to another place. We ended up on a lovely hill, full of pines, typical mediterranean flora. We ingested the truffles at about 1PM, none of us had any breakfast or food to maximize the effects; all I had was a beer to cool down the anxiety of the come up, not that great idea since I ended up with an uncomfortable nausea, while my friend didn’t.
About 1 hour later the effects started kicking in, I didn’t really trip hard until I laid directly under the sunlight. It seemed to hugely amplify everything, closing my eyes I would have 3D visuals such as a digital spiky dragon which was getting closer to me. I laughed at the fact that he was trying to scare me. By this time, I put my headphones on and after a bit, ‘Sigur Ros – The nothing song’ started playing; the childish voice somehow reminded me of my sister who died of cancer at the age of 3, it was a strong hit, and I had to take my headphones off. Having my eyes open, instead, would show me a brighter blue up in the sky.
I tried to eat something at this point, about 2:30 hours after ingesting truffles, a very bad idea, my mouth was so dry I couldn’t throw down anything, I ended up spitting the food out, otherwise I would definitely have suffocated. Sipped some peach ice tea after this. Later on, I realized that staying with my friend would limit my effects, so I decided to have an adventurous walk upon the hill; once I reached a forsaken tower the environment surrounding it was just sensational, the sight itself was amazing, but in that moment it was 10x better, and it caused me a strong emotional feeling, a mixture of discovery, curiosity and joy. After a while I went back to our basement, and my friend said he didn’t even realize I had a walk. We ended up talking and joking on the fact that each other’s presence would limit the effects, so I told him to go and check out that wonderful place on his own. He did.
By this time my thoughts were not the best thoughts I could get, I started thinking about the fact that my dad is a tobacco addict and about his life assurance. I thought that I couldn’t stand his death, and I ended up tearing a bit. The tears caused me a deep feeling of satisfaction, like I’ve been trying to get this out for so long; now I wasn’t sad anymore, as I was laying on the towel with my belly down on the ground and my face staring at the trees, I somehow experienced being nothing for a short time. I was literally nothing, and it was not good, it was not bad, it was just linear and stable nothingness.
I was literally nothing, and it was not good, it was not bad, it was just linear and stable nothingness.
As my friend came back I cleaned my tears and we talked about religion and afterlife, and I stated that death mustn’t be so bad, and I actually think this, I think life is much harder and painful than death, when you’re dead you don’t feel anything, you don’t have any needs, no thoughts, you’re nothing, as you used to be before your birth. It was kind of bizarre realizing for how of a short time we’re alive in the entire time’s timeline, I kept wondering when did time start running? It always ran? How? Will it run forever? While talking about this some small trees would turn into some minecraft-like texture, it was cool. I realized in this moment that visuals are just a side effect of this substance, the main changes are in your perspectives.
I first tried weed late in my freshman year of college. I had seen other people doing it plenty of times, had hung out with high people, but had never been there myself. Finally, in Decemeber, I decided to try it out, and asked a couple of my friends, W and T, who smoked up frequently. W, who provided, was incredibly experienced, so the shit I smoked was probably really strong.
The three of us gathered around a bong, and I managed to take three really good hits and hold them in without coughing too much, though I couldnt do any more without coughing. 5 minutes go by, nothing. I can tell that W and T are starting to get high, but I just feel tired. 10 minutes, still nothing. W tells me a lot of people dont feel anything their first time, and I start to feel like I wasted my time. Finally, about 15 minutes in, I started to feel something. Now, everyone told me beforehand that weed makes your mind work differently and makes you think of profound things. NO ONE told me about the physical effects, so that took me by surprise.
It felt at first like a pressure in the back of my head, sort of like someone was trying to tickle or grasp the top of my scalp. This feeling gradually turned into a pressure and an intense tingling that worked its way through my head, down my face, down my neck, and to the tops of my shoulders. I was just starting to get used to the tingling when it quickly washed all over my body, and my whole body at once felt very tingly and numb. I was sort of scared, because I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I felt every part of my skin on my clothing, and it felt nice to move the clothing around. I felt every joint as it moved. It was beautiful, like a artificial orgasm. Though honestly, it did nothing to expand my mind. I became a moron. Nothing new occurred to me, only now I was more interested in things that I already understood. Like, I was fascinated by T’s keyboard, though I already knew how it worked. It was like the weed was blocking a part of my mind that already knew things and was jaded to how they worked.
We went into another room to play 4 way Goldeneye and eat and drink some juice. The Sour-Cream and Onion Pringles were fantastic, I ended up eating about half of the canister. The orange juice tasted so good, i just stuck my tongue in the cup and left if there, to continue to experience the taste. As far as the video game, I kept looking at the wrong side of the screen and wondering why my guy wasnt doing what I told him to, and why they told me I was losing. I also sort of degenerated into a child again. It became fun to pretend I was a super-hero or to pretend to shoot the bad-guys and play games like that. Finally, after about 2 hours of all this junk, I came down, and went to bed soon after.
The reason weed frightens me and why I have not done it much since my first time came the next day. I was very fuzzy, and had trouble holding onto thoughts. I couldnt study, couldnt concentrate, couldnt work my mind the way I needed it to work. It really took 2 or 3 days before I felt completely back to normal.
Since the first time, I have smoked up about 7 other times, from different people’s stashes and in different settings… 6 that same year, and once a few months ago, after not having smoked for 2 years flat. The experience has always been the same: the wonderful orgasmic physical sensation, the mental dullness, the childishness, and the fuzziness and forgetfulness for days afterwards. No visions, no amazing revalations, no life-realizations. I realize this is atypical, but I did not see one report under Weed Experiences that was similar to mine. Overall, its not worth it for the toll it takes on my mind. Yes, the physical sensation is great, but its an artificial, outer sort of great. Not the same sort of lasting, inner great you get from, say, falling in love. Weed is nice but its cheap and artificial, and we’re not meant to feel that way. I dont know if I’ll smoke again, but I’m thinking probably not.
Unlike being drunk, its not an experience that I can begin to do justice to through words. I have tried my best to describe it, but its even more intense than that. Just be careful, and be mindful of your thinking capacity afterwards.
Presidents Day rolled around and me and Peter met at Toms house with Tom to begin our trip. We all walked into the kitchen and discussed the amount we would take. Tom decided to do a full tab, as it was his second time tripping and he felt comfortable doing so. Peter decided to do a third as it was his first time, and I also decided to do a third as it was my first time
I also decided to do a third as it was my first time. We all took our blotters and had a small toast to the upcoming experience.
We all walked outside and sat down and patiently waited, Peter and I were somewhat giddy with anticipation as to the effects of the LSD. Tom was less giddy as he had already had a previous experience. After about 25 minutes, Peter and I were talking about any changes in our vision that we may have noticed or placebo’d ourselves into seeing. This did not consist of a whole lot, yet. We waited another 15 minutes, and proceeded to have another conversation. This time, speaking about how all of the trees outside suddenly looked outlined, as if they had a high resolution filter on them. They were unmistakably noticeable, as if they demanded that they be emphasized out of the rest of nature. We talked about these details and then decided to walk inside. We all went to Tom’s room where Tom’s girlfriend was, Tom began cuddling with her and was mostly focusing on her for the majority of the trip. Me and Peter moved to the hallway outside his room and gawked at a painted canvas hanging on the wall, this canvas had a sunset over a small island with a palm tree, the sunset reflected off of the water and made the ocean look beautiful in the picture. We marveled at these colors and then moved to sitting on the floor and watching the carpet move and breathe.
It was not long after this that I decided to move outside again, I went outside and laid on the deck. I listened to the wind against the leaves of the trees and heard all of the tiny sounds coming from all parts of the nature that surrounded me. This was by far the most calming and absolutely gorgeous sound I had ever heard. I flipped onto my chest, as I was previously laying on my back, and saw a leaf lying on the deck. I stared at this leaf, and watched all of the tiny, intricate patterns in the leaf dance and breathe as if it was just as alive as I was. I absolutely marveled at these details and was astonished, at the fact that something so small and minute as a leaf, could have so much detail put into it. I continued to lay and stare at this leaf in awe as I pondered this question of detail in small forms. After about an hour of staring at this leaf and listening to the sounds of nature as it was living alongside me, I closed my eyes.
When I closed my eyes, I suddenly saw a huge burst of color, and this burst of color then faded to a deep, and beautiful purple mixed with other colors that seemed to be in a transparent layer behind the purple. Barely visible, but visible nonetheless. Then, surrounding and inside of this purple hue that I was viewing with my eyes shut, I saw small white dots lighting up everywhere in random spots on the purple hue of color. This looked like what I would imagine the universe as looking like if I could clearly see it in the middle of the nothingness it engulfs. As the white dots appeared in this “universe”, I witnessed a tree growing out of nothing in the color and white lights that I was seeing. This tree continued to grow right in plain view of my mind, and I witnessed it growing from nothing, to being a mature tree, and then watching the leaves it grew ever so slowly, very slowly falling off the tree one by one. Till the tree was barren and empty. Then, I viewed its leaves regrowing and the cycle repeating itself. This cycle of this tree growing and dying and growing and dying continued on in my mind. I realized at that moment as it repeated itself. That human existence is no different than the tree and its leaves. We grow as people and expand ourselves, only to die in the end, only to rejoin the rest of the universe as one, as the leaf falls to the ground and decomposes to provide the soil with more nutrients that provide plants more fertile soil to grow in. Everything is an extension of another thing, and that continues until the last extension is a extension of one single thing. Everything.
At the time I realized this in my trip, I smiled very wide and opened my eyes. A warm feeling unlike anything I’d ever felt coursed through my body. I felt so pure, and genuinely happy. I felt as though all of my questions were answered and that I could rejoin the universe and exist in harmony as I should have been doing all along. This truly felt like the first time I had ever felt genuinely happy, and to this day continues to be one of the most absolutely beautiful and defining moments of my entire life. I still tear up when thinking about it, as it is truly the one time in my life when I felt whole. I felt pure and I felt the clarity that I strive to attain in my life now.
It is beauty in and of itself that I wish I could hold onto. But, nonetheless, after I had this realization, I stood up. And just stared into the woods surrounding the majority of Tom’s house. I smiled wide and full as I stared at the woods. I stood there like this, probably looking absolutely ridiculous. But feeling absolutely amazing, for quite a while. My friends then walked out and retrieved me from the deck and walked inside with me.
I felt as though my first trip had taken an extremely thick fog that resides in my mind, and blew it clear away. And left me with no confusion or non awareness of the paths I could choose to follow in life, and it began the next step of my journey. Which is still continuing on, and I have a feeling it won’t end anytime soon. My first trip was the most loving, beautiful, and enchanting experience I have ever had the pleasure of living through. I very often sit and wonder if I will ever find my answers I search for, I think maybe I will one day. But I think deep down I know, that truly, I won’t find them in my own life. Initially this may seem disheartening, but my friends, please, if you take anything from this, take and remember this one piece of advice.
Often times, the journey is far better than the destination.
Everyone says that heroin is the most hardcore drug that one can do…one that will consume you, spit you out, and continue to chew you until there is nothing left. Thats the absolute truth. Its arguably the best times of your life, along with the worse. A heaven and hell complex, if you will. With the good, comes the bad, and I was soon going to learn that the hard way.
I still remember the first time I did heroin. ‘You tryin to shoot some dope today?’ My friend J asked me. He was with another one of our friends B, and I had met them up at the local college. ‘Yeah, I’m ready’ I thought, already stoned from the weed from earlier. The boys hopped in my car, and we drove downtown to the city..the first time for me. The boys already knew where to cop, who to go to, so I didnt ask many questions..just drove to the ‘spot’. Once we got there, J got out of the car with our money and copped about 5 pills. Usually with a tolerance, one pill of good quality heroin will suffice for a user. Hence it being my first time, the boys said that I should only do about half of a pill.
The boys told me to drive to a safer location for administering the substance and chilling out for a bit. We drove a few blocks to a different parking lot. When we got there, I was anticipating what I knew would be one of the greatest drug experiences of my life, and I was not wrong. B prepared the shot for me, and he asked me if I was ready. I was still in the drivers seat at the time, and I said yes. He used his belt to tie off my arm to find a good viable vein for injection. I told him that I didnt have very poppy veins, and that it might be a little hard for him to find one. ‘I can always find a vein man, just sit back and relax, itll be done in a sec’ B said, already slightly nodding out from his shot. I said okay. *Prick* B pulled back the syringe to see if blood pulled back, making sure he was in the vein. I saw him slowly push the plunger in, and releasing the heroin into my body.
‘Make sure he doesnt fall out’ I heard J tell B.
‘should I feel it soon?’ I asked B. ‘Ohyeah’ they both told me.
The very second those words left my lips, I felt an incredible surge of relaxation shoot from my solar plexis, outwards to the rest of my body. My vision waved from the top right of my vision to the bottom left like flipping pages. It felt like having a full body orgasm while slowly sinking into a jacuzzi. I felt slightly queesy but after a minute it subsided. All I could mutter was ‘wow’ my whole body screamed and indulged in the opiate bath it has been given for the first time.
I vomited about an hour later, and I was extremely high and nodding in and out for the rest of the day.
For about a month or so later, I continued to use maybe 4 times a week, every time with my buddy J. He would administer the shot, and my habit did not really get bad until he went to rehab about a few months later. I learned how to obtain the drug on my own, how to administer it to myself, and I was with a new crowd of people that were hardcore addicts. At my worst I was having to steal 350-400 bucks a day to support a speedball habit-concoction of heroin and cocaine, buying crack, and using 10+pills a day. This continued towards a downward spiral where I lost my job, lost my phone, the respect of my family, my car, and eventually my house. I would have to steal from family in order to support my habit, and I was kicked out twice. I still remember stealing to support my habit AND pay for a motel, and continuously stealing and shooting dope. Going through physical withdrawal would be a living hell. Constantly dry heaving, throwing up foam, your bones feel like they are being drained and hollow, and your muscles continuously ache with unwarranted pain. It is one of the worst feelings one can go through..not just physically, but mentally as well. You can smell the heroin cooking in your skin when you are sick.
I eventually got my life back to normal.
I got my car back, worked on my relationship issues with my parents, and found another great job.
I have seen my life, and the lives of my friends who were also using just hit rock bottom, and I learned the hardway how heroin can consume your whole being, all for those 5 heavenly minutes of the heroin rush and high.