Dating, for a guy, is a pretty lonely ordeal. Most men don’t really talk about relationships the way women do. Nor do they often have the support that women do, either. So, it’s not surprising that a lot of men end up getting lonely and unable to find quality advice.
Part of the issues that men face when dating is that they don’t know where to turn for advice—and often end up turning to the wrong sources. The biggest part of the issue is that guys often believe that relationship books are only “a girl’s thing.”
That’s just not true!
While it’s true that relationship advice books are mostly bought by women, there are a ton of books out there that are meant to help men get the success they’re seeking out in love. Many of them are ideal for helping men get out of toxic cycles and into healthy, happy relationships.
If you know a guy who’s struggling in love, you might want to gift them one of the best dating books for guys—such as these relationship-expert approved titles below.
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty ― Mark Manson
“A man’s attractiveness is inversely proportional to how needy he is. The less needy he is, the more attractive he will be to women on average. The needier he is, the less attractive he will be to women on average.
Neediness is when a man places a higher priority on others’ perceptions of him than his perception of himself. A needy man’s actions and words will therefore be primarily motivated by impressing and winning approval from others. Non-neediness is when a man places a higher priority on his own perception of himself than the perceptions of others. A non-needy man’s actions and words will therefore be primarily motivated by embodying his own values and desires.
Neediness, therefore, infiltrates all behaviors because it is what inspires and instigates all behaviors. A lack of neediness also infiltrates all behaviors for the same reason. Because it underlies all of your actions and words, to be non-needy is to be more attractive, in every way. It defines and resonates in everything you say and do, the way you stand, the way you smile, the jokes you tell, the people you associate with, the car you drive, the wine you drink, the jacket you wear.
When people say vague things like, “I like the way he carries himself,” or “you just need to believe in yourself,” or, “he just has ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is,” they are referring to a man’s lack of neediness. It exudes from him in everything he does. Paradoxically, a man’s lack of need for attention and admiration is itself a magnet for attention and admiration. A man’s comfort and acceptance of the possibility that some people will not like him makes people like him even more. A man’s respect for differing opinions makes those around him want to agree with him more.
A needy man is constantly investing in the perceptions others have in him. He is being extra nice and friendly when he doesn’t want to be because he believes he must do this to be liked and loved. He is buying a fancy watch and season tickets to the local sports team so that he will be admired and loved. He is coming up with fake compliments or pretending to be a bad ass because he thinks it will get him attention and love.
A non-needy man may still do these behaviors — he may still buy the season tickets or make the jokes. But his intentions are different. Whereas a needy man says and does these things for approval, the non-needy man does them simply for the pleasure of doing. The needy man tries to control what others think and feel more than what he thinks and feels himself. The non-needy man is more concerned with controlling his own thoughts and feelings rather than the thoughts and feelings of others. A needy man will be more invested in the woman he is with than in himself – he will be more concerned about her opinion, about him, about the weather, about everything other than what he actually thinks and feels. A non-needy man will be more invested in himself than the woman he’s with.
The Dating Playbook For Men ― Andrew Ferebee
When you ask a woman what she want’s in a man one of the first thing she’ll say is “a nice guy”. Yes, it’s what women want, but it’s not what they respond to. And I am not suggesting that you go completely 180 right now and turn into an arrogant jerk either.
Ok, you’ve eaten a Snickers bar right? Deep down in there is the soft chewy center of a man. It’s not a bad thing to be soft and vulnerable inside, but just be aware that women are not necessarily ATTRACTED to the soft, limp man until she’s first seen the HARD side of him and knows it’s there.
Because when you’re soft (expressing feminine character), you put the woman in a masculine role. Typically, a woman can only feel attraction for a man when she is in her feminine, therefore as a man you need to step into the masculine dominant role more.
You become soft because you have the scarcity mentality. You’re not thinking about the big picture. You think there are just a few women out there and there’s nothing you can do about it. You think: “There is NOBODY out there for me so I better treat this one girl amazing because I don’t know if and when I will ever experience this again”.
Having a low opinion of yourself is not “modesty”. It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not “egotism”. It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success. – Bobbe Sommer
When you start thinking like this, you start liking girls that remotely show any signs of interest in you. You think you can’t create that same connection with another girl, so you settle for less than you deserve without even realizing it
YOU NEED TO REMOVE THE SCARCITY MENTALITY FROM YOUR LIFE AND SWITCH TO THE ABUNDANCE MENTALITY.
It is strictly social conditioning.
There is more than one girl that you can have this feeling with. In fact, there are billions of women out there. And you can date these women when you take women off the pedestal you hand crafted out of gold for her.
Stop placing women on pedestals!
It doesn’t serve you and women don’t like it in the long run.
Check this out: Let’s say you meet a guy as a friend and then after only a few days he started buying you a bunch of stuff and paying for all your food and drinks. Then texts to make sure you got home ok, and “likes” all your facebook posts. Sends you random gifts. What a weird dude…
Do you know what the pedestal does? It allows women to recline into the comfort you lavish them with, put their foot in your mouth that gives too many fake compliments, buys too many gifts, always being available and lets her walk all over you. Too early man it’s over before it started…
You minus well lay on the floor and tell her to walk all over you!
The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck ― Mark Manson
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be “positive” all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.
For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. “F**k positivity,” Mark Manson says. “Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it.” In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—”not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.” Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
No More Mr. Nice Guy – Dr Robert Glover
Your boss consistently asks you at the last minute to come into work on the weekend. You say “yes” every time even though you have family plans. You stew with resentment as you pore over TPS reports on a Saturday.
You order an expensive steak at a restaurant, but when the waiter brings it to you it’s way over-cooked. When he asks, “How is everything?” you respond, “Fine,” while you glumly saw your charred hunk of meat.
You want to take a jiu-jitsu class, but you don’t think your wife will be too happy with you spending an hour or two every week away from your family, so don’t you even mention the idea to her.
Your neighbor lets his dogs bark all night, and it’s keeping you from sleep. Instead of talking to him about it, you bad-mouth him to your friends on Facebook.
If any of these situations hits close to home, then you’re likely one of the legions of men who suffer from “Nice Guy Syndrome” – a set of personality, attitude, and behavioral traits described by Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy
Nice Guys take a passive approach to life and relationships. Instead of standing up for themselves, they let others walk all over them. They’re pushovers and perennial People Pleasers. Nice Guys have a hard time saying no to requests — even unreasonable ones. They’re considerate to a fault. When they want or need something, they’re afraid to ask for it because they don’t want to inconvenience others. Nice Guys also avoid conflict like the plague. They’d rather get along than get ahead.
At first blush, Nice Guys seem like saints. They appear generous, flexible, and extremely polite. But if you scratch beneath the surface, you’ll often find a helpless, anxious, and resentful core. Nice Guys are often filled with anxiety because their self-worth depends on the approval of others and getting everyone to like them. They waste a lot of time trying to figure out how to say no to people and even then, often end up still saying yes, because they can’t go through with it. They don’t feel they can go after their true desires, because they’re locked into doing what others say they should do. Because “go with the flow” is their default approach to life, Nice Guys have little control over their lives and consequently feel helpless, shiftless, and stuck. They’re also typically resentful and vindictive because their unspoken needs aren’t being met and they feel like others are always taking advantage of them – even though they’re the ones who allow it to happen.
In worst-case scenarios, the Nice Guy’s pent-up resentment from being pushed around will result in unexpected outbursts of anger and violence. He’s a volcano waiting to erupt….