Being a beta male has nothing to do with your physical strength, financial success, or aptitude with women and dating.
These external factors can serve as indicators of whether a man is an alpha or beta, but in and of themselves, they are insufficient to “diagnose” a man entirely as alpha or beta. Because the defining characteristic of a beta male is not their external successes (or lack thereof), but the driving force behind those successes.
By very definition, beta males live their lives based on the values and vision of other people. They seek validation at every turn and because they lack self-reliance and a strong sense of personal identity, they fall into patterns of neediness and approval-seeking behaviors.
They do not believe that they are “enough” as a man and so they desperately seek to prove their worth through any means possible.
Ironically, one of the best examples of covert beta behavior in action is the “classic” alpha male.
A man’s man who seems to have everything figured out. He has a thriving multiple 6-figure career, a sports car, a physique that puts the ancient Spartans to shame, and a stack of cash in the bank.
On the surface, he seems like an alpha male, right? He has all of the outward trappings of success. And most men would kill just to spend a day in his shoes.
But when you look beneath the surface, you find something rather interesting.
Despite his external successes, the man in question is not happy or fulfilled. His life is covertly built entirely on seeking approval from others and every action that he takes is permeated by an unhealthy desire to be ‘liked’ and validated by those around him.
Sure, he makes $250,000 a year working as a corporate executive. But he silently hates what he does, suffers from crippling anxiety, and wants nothing more than to quit the corporate world and pursue his real passions.
But he’s too afraid to take the leap. He’s terrified of what other people would think if he turned his back on such a lucrative career and so he spends years miserably clocking in and clocking out so he can prove his worth to the father who never loved him and “friends” he doesn’t really have.
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