1. I once met a girl who made a very good living through a .onion site where she’d fulfill the sexual fantasies of people who had very graphic, violent or dangerous paraphilias.
Those that would be impossible to realize without committing at least a sexual assault, at worst a violent rape, GBH or even murder: all of which would involve going to jail, and so for most people would remain a fantasy, because:
Most people would A) not commit such an act on another person and B) prefer not to go to jail before being placed on the sex offenders register.
Importantly, her early teenage years had been a litany of horrendous abuse. Among other things she had witnessed the sexual murders of two girls her own age, one was 14, the other 15. As a result she had a number of paraphilias that would be considered extreme, but the experience had also given her an enormous amount of insight: she realized that most of us don’t have a choice about what we find sexually arousing- her paraphilias included being sexually aroused by the idea of her own death, specifically by her own public execution, which nobody in their right mind would choose as a sexual fantasy.
However she made a very clear distinction between HAVING an unsavoury or unusual paraphilia and ACTING on it.
What she did was allow people to act on their less acceptable sexual fantasies with her as the willing participant, so nobody who wasn’t 100% consenting would be involved.
I asked her (who could honestly say they wouldn’t be curious?) what people requested, she said the most common fantasies were rape, choking and other “predictable” things.
She told me that she listed the more unusual scenarios on her website along with photos- people had requested everything from hanging to mock beheadings, (some of which were violent enough that she wondered if she was going to survive) even knifing and impaling. So I could imagine stumbling upon her site would have been considered “horrible”— especially because it boasted a pretty graphic photo gallery, with her being knifed among other things.
One thing that struck me was her lack of affect, despite being unusually attractive, ridiculously intelligent and very charismatic she was very down to earth, and you certainly wouldn’t imagine she ran what was apparently one of the most “mythical” websites ever created.
I should point out that I still know her well, but she gave up the business and all it entailed after she did an impalement fantasy for a group of people and nearly bled to death- a pretty disturbing story told to me by the subject herself… maybe she’ll let me tell it someday.
2. I once came across a site that was solely dedicated to motivating people who want to commit suicide.
The words on the sites were carefully crafted to pull your legs until you jump over the cliff.
Who in their right mind encourages another human to commit suicide to the extent of building a website for it.
Some people are just crazy.
3. It was last year when I thought of exploring the invisible web (deep web) and the dark web for the first time, I was really curious about it, being a Computer Science and Engineering student. But, I didn’t know how to access it. So, I searched for a while and then got the required resources ready.
After entering the dark web and surfing for about 10–15 minutes, I found a web page with a lot of onion URLS (URLs of dark web sites). So, I decided to visit some random URLs, as there were hundreds of them.
That time, I had no idea that this could cost me a night’s sleep.
I visited the 1st URL, and it was a website selling drugs. I knew that I could encounter this kind of stuff, as I had read about Silk Road during the research I did about Cryptocurrencies.
Then, I visited the 2nd random URL, and it was a website for hiring contract killers. All the killers were listed with their codenames and their skills, kills, success rate, cost of hiring, etc. were mentioned alongside, like the image below:
(Image for reference – belongs to Counter Strike Game)
At this time, I got a little nervous, but then proceeded towards the 3rd random URL. This one took me to a website selling human organs. where various organs were listed, along with the base price, and one could enter the quantity and then order them.
After that, the 4th random URL lead me to a website teaching torture techniques. There were many videos in each torture technique of people belonging to different gender and age groups. Those videos were too cruel to watch and were of hours length. In those videos, maybe the person/kid died in the end (I wasn’t able to watch them all the way through).
At this point, I was kind of feeling disgusted and took a break from my computer.
Then, after about 15–20 mins, I proceeded towards the 5th random URL, and it lead me to a website featuring illegal and banned porn. The next few random URLs were the same. All the websites were featuring the illegal and banned porn, and were requesting users to buy it.
After this, I was thinking of exiting the dark web, but just thought to give it a last try and if the next website also comes to feature the same content, I’ll quit.
Then came the worst part, my Nth random link, it took me to a website which was teaching how to cook people, keeping them alive to the maximum extent. Not just this, but it had the different procedures to cook people based on their geographical location, age, gender, built, etc. Along with that, there were videos attached in each procedure. I wasn’t able to play any of them, as even their thumbnails were disgusting as hell. I don’t understand why anyone would do that. This thought crossed my mind and I quit the dark web.
After this, I was traumatized for a few days.
I’ve accessed dark web many times after that for research purposes and just out of curiosity, but that was the worst.
4. I have spent time pretty much every day of the past four years on the dark web. I’m a member of many of the black markets (the ones that sell drugs, hacking tools, stolen credit cards and financial information) and actively participate in many forums.
The truly horrible stuff on the dark web revolves around child pornography and the worst of the worst are the “hurtcore” sites. The hurtcore sites are where the infamous Daisy’s Destruction – a series of three videos depicting the torture of a toddler, once considered an urban myth of the dark web – were hosted. Unfortunately, they were not a myth.
These sites, the most famous of which was called Hurt2theCore, were available to any6one, but to get full access, members had to prove they were actively involved in hurting children by providing videos or pictures not available elsewhere. The highest level of access was the “Producers Lounge” where people would gather and produce videos to order.
Hurt2theCore’s owner, Lux, the most evil person on the dark web. He ran what he called a “Pedo Empire” which was very popular with pedophiles and others who enjoyed watching children get harmed.
Lux was caught a couple of years ago and in the same sting the producer of Daisy’s Destruction, Peter Scully, was also caught. Lux was recently sentenced to 17 years in Australian jail. Peter Scully is in prison in the Philippines for not only torturing Daisy, but facing murder charges of another girl of around 9 years old, whose body was found at his house.
Most of the rumours claim Daisy was killed on film (and thus the only existing proof of a snuff movie) but she is alive and being looked after.
I attended the trial of Lux. Read more about it here: You wanted darker web?
5. I remember the first time I went online on TOR, almost giddy from excitement of exploring the unknown. I navigated to the Hidden Wiki page with its extensive link catalog. I visited some online gun & drug stores and called it a day. Exciting, but nothing out of the ordinary.
But things got messy the next time I opened TOR.
I came upon an anonymous chat site that anyone could use by signing up. The guys there seemed really nice. I told them I was new to the whole TOR thing and they took their time to explain to me the basics and how everything worked around the network.
“Take it easy,” one of them typed back. “So, what are you looking for?”
“I’ve been hearing stories about the dark web, so I came to check out what the deal was, but it’s all pretty mellow,” I responded. “I guess I was expecting some surprises, but drugs and guns are all that’s here.”
I had given my honest opinion.
“You’re a nice chap. If you like surprises, follow this link,” he then typed, and he signed out.
The link took me to a private forum. Sort of like Reddit, but more basic. The first thread was an extensive discussion on how to make cocaine from locally available substances. It also talked about different other unconventional types of highs like injecting oneself with a mixture of Chloroxylenol (Dettol) and ground sugar. A user reported that the high was so potent, 12 hours later he was still reeling!
Another thread discussed the best ways to have sex with your pets. As gross as it was, the users also posted links to porn sites that had human-animal sex.
I had been looking around for a couple of hours when I came across an innocuous-looking link sitting quietly at the comments section, with the subject line NSFW. At this point, I had already seen a woman have sex with a horse, so there wasn’t really much that could surprise me. Or, so I thought.
The link took me to a video feed of a girl sitting in a chair with a countdown clock running at 11 minutes to zero. The girl looked sleepy, possibly drugged, as she looked right at the camera, eyes half-open. I had no idea what was going on. The website was minimalist, just a comment bar, and no other frills. I tried typing something but the website told me that I was a guest and to leave a comment I had to sign up and pay about $50.
Five minutes to zero, a man entered the room and started hustling furniture around. The comments section suddenly fired up. There were about 50 other users signed in, and they were all leaving obscene comments. The man came near the monitor, seemed to read something from it, smirked, and went back. It suddenly dawned on me that perhaps this was a live feed. As the countdown clock counted down to zero, Beethoven’s Ode to Joy began to play in the background. The man came back on screen, this time with a Swiss Army knife. The comments section, in the meantime, was bustling with perverse comments.
“Tear her shirt down,” somebody wrote.
And in a moment, I saw the man slash through the girl’s shirt, making her partially topless.
“Spit down her throat,” someone else wrote.
And the man did it.
Suddenly, the quantum of the incident dawned on me. There was this girl who was being tortured live for the viewing pleasure of a bunch of sick human beings. I almost felt like throwing up.
“Hit her ribs with the bat,” was the next request. I watched in horror as the man pulled out a baseball bat from underneath the table, swinging it for her right chest and toppling her over by sheer force of the hit. The girl howled in pain as the commentators typed in their ‘haha,’ and ‘Loved it, once mores.”
“She’s got a perfect nose. Let’s break it,” somebody typed in.
“Hey, what happened to waterboarding her,” typed another.
A chill ran through my spine. Somewhere, there was this girl, locked away in a dungeon, possibly abducted from her family, to be tortured on a live stream and ultimately be killed at the end of the show.
I closed all connections, my hands still trembling, as I proceeded to shut down my PC and take a walk to get some fresh air.
It remains to be one of my most unpleasant memories. I can still hear her scream in my head as I type this sentence. I still have TOR on my computer, but do not use the service anymore. I just figured I was happy without it.