I got rejected last week. Actually, I get rejected every week – I approach women daily, and a few inevitably say “No.”
Some have boyfriends. Some are too busy to stop and chat. Some just don’t like what I have to say – or maybe they don’t like my face. To be honest, I don’t care.
Most people are terrified of fucking up, but I’m not – and you shouldn’t be, either. Failure is the best teacher, the fastest way forward, the only way to become wildly successful in everything you do.
Here’s why getting rejected is the best thing that’s ever happened to you – and the secret ingredient to being succesful with women.
Why We’re Scared of Rejection
The fear of being rejected by a woman is incredibly potent. Most men would pick wrestling alligators, fighting dragons or swimming across the Atlantic over talking to a cute girl at the bar.
I used to think that this was because women are inherently scary. You know – evolutionary psychology, “men have evolved approach anxiety as a defense mechanism”, all that jazz.
I no longer feel that way.
Women aren’t scary – what’s scary is the possibility of rejection. Not because girls are physically threatening – but because getting rejected is an ego-crusher.
What if a girl tells you to fuck off? Or tells all her friends about the weird guy who tried to talk to her? What if getting rejected means you’re really, really bad with women and will never-ever get laid or find the girl of your dreams?
That’s what’s really scary – the threat of other people thinking you’re shitty; the chance you won’t measure up to your own hopes and expectations.
In other words, getting over that fear isn’t an outside job; it’s not about forcing yourself to approach hundreds of girls, waiting for the anxiety to go away. It’s all about having the right perspective.
Why You Shouldn’t be Scared of Rejection
I’ll tell you a little secret. You’ve got nothing to be afraid of – because you have nothing to lose.
At the end of the day, we’re all just meat and flesh and bones. Right?
One day, you’ll die. I’ll die. The cute girl at the bar will be dead and gone. In the grand scheme of things, does it matter if she says “no”? Fuck no: nobody really cares, and you definitely shouldn’t care. You’ve got nothing to lose except for your unrealistic expectations and swollen ego.
You do, however, have a lot to gain. If you forget about your ego for a minute and accept that you will get rejected – sometimes harshly – you’ll see what I mean.
You can stay at home and be 100% rejection-proof or you can go out there and get rejected. And guess what? Every fuck-up is going to teach you more about yourself and women than sitting on your couch ever will.
More importantly, nobody gets rejected every time. Even if you’re really shit, putting yourself out there will get you laid. It will make you new friends. It’ll expand your comfort zone and make the previously impossibly – possible.
At the end of the day, which would you rather be – 100% successful at jerking off or 3% successful at seducing real-life women?
Exactly. So go out there and remember – you’ve got nothing to lose.
The Pareto Principle
The Pareto principle states that 80% of effects come from 20% of causes. This applies to getting girls: most of your insights will come from a few really big fuck-ups. Learn to love those epic failures more than anything in the world.
Here’s another little secret about failure: there’s nothing wrong or unattractive about it. We all screw up, and being comfortable with that is really attractive.
If you’re afraid of being unattractive because you screw up (like the rest of us) – don’t be.
We’re all human. Failure is natural, and people will really dig you for being real about it. Be vulnerable; embrace failure; flip your bastard ego the middle finger.
You’ll be wildly attractive to women. Trust me.
Like I said earlier, rejection is the best thing that can happen to you. It’s a great teacher and a natural companion to success. If you want to accomplish anything in life, you’ll have to fall down and get back up a few times.
Because in the end, there’s only difference between a loser and a winner: a winner plows through as many failures as it takes to get what he wants.
Yes, it’s scary to go out there and know that you might get rejected. But remember, you have nothing to lose – and everything to gain.
Take more chances. Embrace failure and rejection. Become unstoppable.
– George P.H.