We’ve all gotten it, the proverbial test women will throw at us, either when we first meet, or when we start dating, or much further down the line. I keep seeing men freeze up in these tests, often forgetting that…
These tests are a good thing!
First, let’s take a look at how she will test;
She will test by complaining, challenging, changing her mind, doubting and distracting.
Those are the main forms in which she will test you. I do have to point out something that many of you might not have the stomach to accept:
Stop hoping for it to get easier. As you grow in success so will her testing.
Yep, there isn’t some kind of testing threshold you need to pass before she gets all cute and happy ever after. The more of a man you become, the more she will test you. The more successful you become – with women, with business, with your goals and passions and indeed, in life itself, the harder you will be tested for it.
Why she tests
I said earlier that a woman testing you is a good thing, and I meant it.
Understand this; women will test you to feel your masculine core.
Yes. It is through discovering your unshakable masculinity that she comes to understand her own femininity.
Let me explain…
Most men nowadays are grown up boys. As such, they seem to want a mother more than a partner. Look no further than your friends, or even your own past relationships. Turn on your TV and watch all these Beta male, lovably loser, ‘good enough’ characters who always seem to get the girl in the end.
This is not TV, this is real life gentlemen. No quality woman will accept your mediocrity, or cuddle you when you allow the world to overwhelm you, or stick by you when you have no goals, dreams or passions.
And don’t get resentful of women for it either – it’s not a bad thing. It means the women in your life will constantly be holding you to a higher standard. It’s the reason that guy from that band no one’s ever heard of still manages to get laid – it’s not the fact that he’s a musician, it’s the fact that he’s working towards something.
Look, it all comes down to trust.
If she does not trust you, she will not follow you. A man that has high self esteem and possesses self control can be trusted. If she feels that you can handle yourself, she will let herself be handled by you.
A man that handles himself has self respect and the confidence that he can face any problems coming his way. A true man not only faces his own problems but the problems of his loved ones.
Only when she can see that you can handle her tests, life’s tests, and other people’s tests, only then will she trust you.
If you get emotional and snap at her, you will break her trust. She will no longer think that you’re stoic and unshakable. She can see that you no longer have the ability to remain unaffected by the outside world. She cannot rely on you now, because you bend over backwards.
If you break down emotionally and throw in the towel, she will no longer trust that you can handle the world, life and perhaps a family one day.
If you get carried away with love and emotions, she will no longer trust you with other women. You’re easily manipulated. You can be emotionally dependent and will seek the next “fix”.
If you start rewarding her bad behavior she will no longer trust that you have self respect, nor will she have respect for you either. Make no mistake about it gentlemen, a man that loses his woman’s respect will soon lose that woman along with it.
Essentially, she will want to be a good woman for you because she is confident in your ability to be a good man for yourself, for herself, and for the future children you might one day raise together.
How to pass tests from women
Once you understand the reason she tests you, you will instinctively know how to pass them. As your success in life grows, so will her testing, and through it you will flourish.
Passing her tests becomes incredibly simple. You can go the traditional route and always have something better to say, or say something funny, and that works to a limited extent, but the ultimate, best way to pass her test is this; Stay with her intensity. embrace her in love. If it is real, she will feel it.
If she throws a taunt your way at the club, don’t clench up and retreat into your head. Breathe from the pit of your stomach, strong and powerful breaths. Stand firm and look deep into her eyes. Do not think about a better answer, do not think about the content of her words, just stand there like a man. Then smile. Smile and spin her, tease her, flirt with her – allow her to feel that you are unshakable and stoic, that you can handle the world and what it throws at you.
If she throws a taunt your way years into your relationship and wants to divert you from your path, stand firm and look deep into her eyes. Take a step closer and take her into your arms – let her feel that she can count on you, that your mission is sacred and that nothing can divert you from it. Then she will trust you.
This has to be real, there is no other way. If your voice shakes and you are weak, she will see right through you.
Can you remain loving, full, joyous and peaceful in the midst of her chaos? Do you rely on her validation in order to feel good about yourself?
Just some things to consider.
– Patrick Ananda