1. Literally nothing about stereotypes is true and it just fucking hurts everyone involved. I am pure African-American, no white genes or anything mixed in and I am 4 inches on a good day with girth less than two fingers together.
I have a good hookup rate with women at bars/college parties but like at least 80% of the time there is visible disappointment when they see it and like 20% of the time they will say something degrading like “oh arent blacks supposed to be bigger” or something like that. And of course some that just say fuck that and leave like I have so many of those stories and the feeling of being emasculated is probably one of the shittiest on the planet. Besides the racism/stereotyping, that hurts to a degree you don’t even know because it’s like not only am I a failure of a man but I’m also failing to live up to my race and that fucking kills me
Stereotypes lead to unrealistic expectations for everyone involved. I work out a lot and have seen many dicks of all sizes belonging to all kinds of people. Black, Asian, Latino, Whites, with huge snakes down there, a few like me with average or smaller dicks (I assume there are less I see because we always wrap ourselves in towels and are too embarrassed…)
Everyone just needs to shut the fuck up about stereotypes like cant people see how ridiculous it is we’re literally all human why the fuck do we enforce this thinking that we have such major differences because of such an arbitrary factor like the color of our skin. Just thinking about it can just ruin my entire day.
2. So I recently had sex for the first time. While I was thrilled to finally get to achieve this something happened that really hurt my confidence and ignited my anxiety. First off, I could tell the girl was a bit surprised by my small size (its hard to hide the look on her face). Thankfully she continued and allowed me to have piv sex. However, while I was inside her there was a moment where she was urging me to go “deeper deeper”. She was repeating that and said “just a bit further and thats the spot”. I couldn’t reach any deeper and thus never got there. I could tell she was a bit frustrated by this and it definitely highlighted my insecurities over my size. After (maybe stupidly) I asked if other guys had reached that spot and she said yes. I felt very inadequate.
3. It sucks having a small dick as a black dude It feels like this mega expectation that you just can’t and will never reach. When I watch porn almost every video has some variation of the title “big black dude with huge cock pounds girl” and I’m sitting here thinking hello wheres my long dong. I see the stereotype all across the internet and it kills me because its like sometimes I’m not black. It’s sort of invalidating. I keep seeing this sorta 6 foot ripped 6 pack chest black dude and all i see when I look in the mirror all I see is this 5 foot something tub of lard with a small dick.
4. My size is 3.75×3.5 and I’ve struggled with it all my life.
First time a girl saw me was high school, she mocked me and told everyone, I was bullied for months. This made me stay away from dating altogether for 5 years until earlier this year. I’m 22 now and I’ve been working with a therapist who told me that my size falls within the “normal” range. He said normal is defined as being able to cause a pregnancy naturally apparently. I have no idea why this is considered the normal range. So he said I shouldn’t worry as it won’t be a problem, as if people have sex only to reproduce. He said now people at this age aren’t like high school.
So I built up my courage and tried. I talked to a girl for over a month and we had several dates and everything was going well. Until we tried it. I was prepared. I had my own condoms (she also had condoms with her, but hers would probably not fit me at all). I had a perfect date with her and then went home, everything was ready to have a good night last night. When we got to the bedroom and were going to do it, she looked surprised but didn’t say anything. We actually tried. For a moment I thought it’s working fine, then she says “are you sure it’s in there?”
Yeah. That. I was sure but also knew what was going on. But we tried another position with her on top and it was the same. She says “Sorry, I’m not feeling anything in there…”
Then she came off and goes to the bathroom. Comes back and tells me that it’s not my fault, “we’re just not sexually compatible. Maybe we can be friends instead?”
Leaves. Sends text later asking if I’m alright.
Look. I’m not blaming her. She had good reasons to reject me and she was nice about it (unlike the girl in high school). Of course I’m not blaming girls here, I’m just blaming my bad luck. Sex is a two way street and I can’t contribute, so it makes sense that I’m not going to have a partner.
And screw my therapist for all the happy-go-lucky BS that he fed me. I wanted to go to him again and say it to his face but I don’t want to give him any more of my money.
5. When I see other guys on the internet, I honestly feel so pathetic and worthless. I don’t mean just porn either, everyone is much bigger than me. I know I should not look at these things or compare but it’s too late. Every guy is curious and looks when they are younger and now I will never forget. Guys talk about the “toilet roll test” where you try to fit inside and a lot of guys can’t. It literally looks like I could fit twice over. The Guardian did an article in 2017 showing 100 different men to reassure people they were normal. Literally all of them are bigger than me. Why the hell did I have to be born like this, I feel like a mistake.
The first time I tried on a condom I was worried and I knew straight away it wasn’t right. Then when I looked up the average and measured myself I wanted to cry. I do cry about this a lot. I don’t care if that’s pathetic, I can’t help it. I’ve completely stopped looking at myself down there no matter what and I will try to never look again. I just want to forget it’s even there but I know that’s not possible. There are so many posts and articles from women talking about this issue, asking if there is a way for them to dump a guy because he’s too small, the disappointment of finding out a “perfect” guy is small, etc. Conversely there are always posts about how great it is to find a guy who is big, or how good it feels to use a bigger toy, etc.
The only girl I have ever been with broke up with me after we had sex once. I asked her why and she basically said we aren’t compatible, despite everything else being great. I should have left it alone but I asked if it was because of the size and she told me she could barely feel anything. For the next 2 years everyone teased me about it because she obviously told people. I love women just like any other straight guy and I hate being alone but I’m never trying that again. I almost failed school because I didn’t even want to go outside. The only reason I’m still here is because my roommate stopped me doing anything drastic, more than once.
I hate that the only way I could ever make a woman feel good is by “compensating” with other things. I hate that I will never know what it feels like to have any normal sexual experience, even on my own. I see people who can barely put their fingers around, and even use two hands. All I can do is use fingers and it doesn’t even feel good. Luckily ever since I realised how bad of an issue this is my libido is basically non-existent. So I’m never going to be with a woman or have sex again. But most likely I won’t be here long anyway so who cares. People say “there’s more to life” but I wonder if any of them have ever been in this position and said that. I highly doubt it. Just because there are other things to do in life doesn’t make it worth living if nobody will ever love you.
6. As A Half Black/Half Senegalese man. It hurts everyday that I’m not even average in my own culture or average in general. That’s why I hate sometimes to hear people with average size complaining but then again I understand because there are probably women who don’t even like average. It’s a constant hate cycle everyday with myself even with dating. You know before I even date a woman I always have to give them a disclaimer about my size or with some women if I hear how big there last partner was or the biggest partner they’ve had I don’t even continue with the dating or trying to court process.
But today is where I take a stand I don’t care anymore it’s funny because it took a person Adam Pearson to change my mind. When he said I can”You can Either live the the life you have or Mourn about the one you don’t”
So fuck all those size queens those hypocritical body positive women except when it comes to penis size , all you well endowed men , fuck all of y’all because my penis isn’t something I can control. But the way I feel about myself and the way I choose to live my life is. So fuck it I’m Half Black Half African and I have a small penis yes it’s 3 inches fully erect and I’m proud and I don’t care.
7. Finally fucked my girlfriend. I was of course nervous at first. I’m overweight so that really doesn’t help my confidence but i bent her over and put it in. When i fucked my ex she made absolutely no noises at all and i avoided sex for 3 years after that due to embarrassment. My current gf has been with 2 men before me who were average and she knew i was insecure about my size. Once i started thrusting….i heard moans! Of course i immediately thought “she’s faking it” but i kept going and after about 7 minutes i felt her vagina began to get tighter? I can’t really explain it but i know for sure she came and was moaning. She’s also told me im the best oral sex she’s ever had.
I feel like i can finally breathe now and rest easy knowing i can do it!…..but i think we both know its not so simple for people with our mindsets. My current gf is very small and her vagina isn’t very deep (she’s 5 3 and also overweight). I’m afraid i just got lucky and found a small woman with a small vagina to accommodate my small size :/. Obviously only time will tell on this one as i continue to fuck more women over my lifetime but for now i enjoy my victory!