(Photo by Alex Green)
1. In a pretty nice but fairly clueless guy’s apartment one afternoon just hanging out, making increasing hints that I’d like to get naked and play cowgirl. After about an hour he said he needed to step out, and as I was getting ready to leave, I basically blocked his hallway and mentioned that I’d never gotten the tour of his place before. He nodded, pointed out the kitchen and the living room. I rolled my eyes, and mentioned how nice it would be to see his bedroom. Obligingly, he pointed at the open door of the room and said, “There it is,” and then asked if we could get together later in the week?
Two hours later it must have sunk in what I was going after because I got a frantic call asking me to come back to his place, he’d be happy to give me that tour. Sorry, Kevin, but I really did have to meet my folks for dinner that night; I wasn’t just making excuses.
2. Spent the day at the beach with a male friend. We were flirting and having a great time the whole day. Came back to my house, we both need to shower. I say something along the lines of “You know it’s hard to wash all this hair by myself sometimes” (my hair is long as FUCK). He responds with “Luckily I don’t have that problem!!” ?
A few days later he straight up asks me if I was inviting him in the shower with me. I say yes. He calls himself an idiot and says he was nervous lmao
3. I’d been talking to a girl who was helping me get with a girl I liked. It didn’t work out, and I was EXTREMELY bummed. So the girl who was helping me asked me how I was doing. And then asked what I saw in the girl I was into.
Then she started asking about what I want in a relationship. I’m a physical touchy person, SO IS SHE WOW. I’m very open and would like someone else like that, WHAT DO YA KNOW SO WOULD SHE. It even got to the point that she said “it’s crazy that we both want the same thing from a relationship!”
And my dumb ass ignorant ass had the nerve to be surprised when she then told me she liked me. And had liked me for months. She was only helping me get the other girl because she wanted me to be happy.
We’re dating now and I treat her like a rare jewel, no worries
4. “Can I take a nap on your bed again? I’m going to take off my pants because I can’t sleep with them on. Do you want to take a nap too?”
5. Sent a guy friend a picture of me in just a tank top, pulling the lower part of it down to cover my lady bits. Honestly a really sexy picture I thought. Also let him know I was bored and lonely.
Nothing came from it. He told me a couple weeks later that he had a huge crush on me but i had moved out of town.
6. I went out with girl from work to a lounge. I was 19 at the time and she was 22. She ordered an alcoholic drink. I commented on how I can’t order one too cause I’m not old enough. She asked me if I wanted to try some of hers, which I happily accepted. Instead of letting me sip from the cup, she takes a big swig, presses her lips against mine and lets the liquor pour into my mouth. I thought it was so they wont see me drink. Then she did it one more time. Clearly I wasn’t getting the hint so she left it at that.
I’m a dumbass.
7. She invited me to her flat to ‘hang out.’ So we hung out. After about an hour she said ‘do you want to leave?’ I said ‘no, why?’ She said ‘Because I brought you back here so we could fuck and you’ve been trying to make small talk for the last hour.’
8. When I was pretty young, I was at my then-girlfriend’s house and she wandered off to the bathroom. Eventually she called my name, I wandered over, and found her in the bathroom doorway mostly nude. She asked if I wanted to help her shave her legs. I said “Nah, that’s kind of weird” and wandered off.
That’s a weird hint. Just saying.
9. Before I started dating my husband I went swimming at his apartment and asked to take a shower so I could rinse the chlorine out of my hair (freshly dyed red, wanted to keep it nice). I asked him to untie my bikini top bc “I couldn’t reach it” and he did, I let it fall and turned around to face him topless and he had left me alone and shut the door behind him.
He was a decent guy, I give him props for that.
10. When I was a young teenager a girl told me she was going to take a shower and asked if I wanted to join her. I just laughed it off, because obviously she must have been joking, right? Right?
I still kick myself for that one.
11. I had a girl keep sending my topless pics while she was home alone but she was pointing out how long her hair was. I was like “yeah, your hair is pretty long lol.” I woke up around 2 in the morning kicking myself for not getting the very obvious hints.
A other time with a complete different girl on our first date we were watching ant man. I remember joking around saying “I could do that” about dumb things making her laugh. Well when the kissing scene came she asked “can you do that”, while close to my face. I was like “man I dont know, I might have to practice” and then watched the movie. When I dropped her off and was driving home and had to slap myself.
12. Guy here. I was walking a friend home one evening and I mentioned to her that I am quite oblivious about when a girl likes me. I said ” a girl could smack me on the head and I wouldn’t realize she was into me”.
She then smacked me on the back of my head and I responded with “Ow! What the hell was that for?!?”.
13. When we first met, I was still a smoker. She brought in cigarettes the next day (she’s never smoked) to give herself an excuse to be around me. She wore the lowest cut top I’ve ever seen and when we were alone together she’d often say she really needed a massage.
I went back to hers one evening to help her with her studies, and despite her changing to her underwear part-way through that’s exactly what I did.
It took me two weeks of this to finally click on.
14. Met a nice, interesting, funny boy at a bar (still living at home, relevant), and we talked for a good hour or two. He walked me to the train station, and it turns out I’d just missed the last train home. I said gee, too bad you live with your parents, I could totally crash at your place! He said it’s fine and we headed back. He made me up the spare bed at the other end of the house and said goodnight. After a while I texted him saying I couldn’t sleep, did he want company? So we hung out in his room. He invited me into his bed since I looked uncomfortable sitting next to it.
We spent the night together in a single bed without a single thing happening. I’d only ever been with one guy, so I just figured I had no mojo. Turns out he was trying to be respectful since he really liked me