How do I know if I’m good in bed? It’s a question we all ask ourselves from time to time but hardly ever ask other people, probably partly because we are afraid of what they will say.
In general, we all think we are good in bed. After all, there is no evidence to the contrary is there? Nobody runs away halfway through, or deletes us on Facebook the day after. No, all the information points to a godlike stature in the sack and who are we to argue?
Obviously we can’t send out a survey or questionnaire to our past and present lovers. It would be bad-taste to re-friend our college girlfriend on Facebook just to ask her the question. And so the question remains:
How do I know if I’m good in bed?
Well, the answer might be simpler than you think. There are certain signals and responses that come in the moment of passion that no one can lie about. Once you can spot them you can put the big question to rest, once and for all.
How do I know if I’m good in bed? Clue #1) There is a second time
The first and most important factor that determines your bedroom rating (or lack of) is whether there is a repeat performance or not. After all, you wouldn’t go back to a hotel that had bad food and smelled funny, would you? If something is good, we generally find an excuse to do it again. Sex is no different. Thought, of course, people may try it a second time just to see if it could possibly be worse than the first. Maybe this clue should be based on there being a third time…
How do I know if I’m good in bed? Clue #2) Lots of noise
Studies have shown conclusively that vocal couples have a far better time in bed than their silent counterparts. Therefore, a good amount of shouting and screaming should indicate things have gone well. Obviously, the noise has to be authentic, which is something to consider. Anyone who has watched When Harry Met Sally will tell you that sex noises are easy to fake. How do we know the difference? Oh, you’ll know. Just don’t ever ask your partner.
How do I know if I’m good in bed? Clue #3) Spontaneity
The people who are best at sex tend to be hunted down by their partners, no matter the time of day or situation they find themselves in. If you are propositioned by your partner the moment you wake up, that may be a strong indicator that you are good in bed. If they look for any excuse to get you back between the sheets in a Saturday morning, that’s another strong indicator. If sex is gone at a routine time with minute-by-minute precision in your house, you probably suck.
How do I know if I’m good in bed? Clue #4) Variety
Almost everybody (but men in particular) fail to understand the important role of variety in their sexual performance. Doing the same thing day in and day out, whilst easy to do on autopilot for some quick satisfaction, is bound to become boring for even the most devoted partner. The art of being good in bed comes down to being surprising and adventurous, which comes down to a distinct lack of inhibition. If you’re boring in bed (and now you know for sure that you are), try and throw a new move in there, or do something different that will have your partner asking where you learnt such a thing. Initiate sex somewhere completely random and watch your rating shoot up. Just watch out for other people walking by, unless you are into that sort of thing.
How do I know if I’m good in bed? Clue #5) Post-sex cuddling
What’s the deal post-sex? Does your partner want to hold you and tell you how much you mean to them? Or do they get up immediately, clean up with a baby wipe and flick the kettle on? As far as our sex factor goes, what happens afterwards is just as important as what happens in the middle. If you are used to the first one it may be that, yes, you are good in bed. If your partner can’t wait to get away from you, however, you may have some work to do.
How do I know if I’m good in bed? Clue #6) Good foreplay effort
Someone who is naturally good at sex will generally spend much more time on foreplay (obviously not always – variety is key, remember) than their less-gifted contemporaries. A willingness to spend time in the nether regions or showing your partner that you appreciate their body already puts you in the top 30% of love-makers out there. If you can throw a few pre-penetration orgasms in there, you might be nearing the top 20%. Good on you, but there is still work to be done.
How do I know if I’m good in bed? Clue #7) Scratching, slapping and any other playful violence
Good or great sex is almost always accompanied with a temporary loss of control. Emotions run wild. As a result, that slap or smack on the butt could well have been an indicator that you actually know what you are doing Scratching your back until you look like a roadmap is also another positive signal. Unless, of course, it was followed with a “get off me you loser.” Then, well, you’re obviously not very good at all. Get some more practice.