One of the most important things you will ever give or receive in a relationship is a sincere apology.
We all make mistakes, and we’ve all been harmed by loved ones.
Most people treat an apology as a way to explain their point of view.
But that feels to the listener like making excuses or minimizing their experience.
The best apologies give you a reason to believe that you won’t be hurt again.
Here is the GREAT APOLOGY checklist:
A real, effective apology has 5 parts:
First, say what you did. Explicitly. And clearly. For example, “I was careless and accidentally broke your television.”
Second, apologize. This part’s easy. “I wanted to properly apologize for doing so. I’m incredibly sorry.”
Third, explain why what you did was wrong. “I should’ve taken more care and not been drunk.”
Fourth, explain what you’re going to do to stop it from happening again, or make it right. “I’m going to make sure I’m not drinking again at your place – there’s a lot of expensive stuff – and take more care in the future. I’m going to pay to replace it, as well.”
Finally: Ask if they’ll forgive you. “I hope you can forgive me, and again, I’m really sorry.”
This is an amazing life skill. Being able to properly apologize has saved relationships and jobs for me – a good one can salvage so many things!