“Not-Enough” isn’t your friend.
If you’re like me, then you’ve been plagued with the sense of “not enough” your whole live-long life.
It’s always been; not enough money, not attractive enough, home isn’t good enough, grades aren’t high enough, I’m not loved enough, not enough sex, not enough experiences, not enough travel, not enough likes, followers, upvotes.
Whenever we believe in not-enoughness then we’re operating on unstable ground. To feel like we haven’t done enough, or that we don’t have enough – is to feel a sense of insecurity, a sense of unwellness, and a need to arrive at the place of Enough.
This is something that I think all of us are going through. It’s nightmarish, isn’t it? To think that we’ve gone our entire lives with this sense of never totally arriving, never totally getting to where we’re trying to get to?
Because every time we GET what we think we need, it never turns out to be the real deal. There’s a temporary moment of satisfaction before we move onto the next thing.
What’s particularly fucky about not-enoughness is that you would think that we’d want to get rid of it as soon as we can. There’s nothing we want more than to arrive at that place of “Ahhh… I’ve finally made it. I’m good. This is enough.” And YET simultaneously, we are repulsed by it! We actually defend not-enoughness by saying things like “It will never be enough, and that’s good! It gives me my drive to go forward. If I felt like I had done enough, I wouldn’t do any more!”
So it’s like – on one hand we’re fighting tooth-and-nail to accomplish our goals… and on the other hand our deepest goal, to finally have done enough… is something that we never intend to actually arrive at!
Give yourself the gift of enoughness.
I suggest that you give yourself the gift of enoughness.
You can give this to yourself AND STILL accomplish your greater human potential. In fact, you’re much more likelier to if you do.
Remember, whenever you affirm that “this is not enough” in some way, you’re creating insecurity in yourself. You’re making your own existence hostile. You’re judging yourself and your own efforts negatively. Conversely, if you were to start giving yourself the gift of enoughness then you no longer need to feel like you’re somehow coming up short of yourself.
See we all hold this idea of “where I should be” or like “I should be a X and Y by now.” But that’s false! How can we say that we’re supposed to be anywhere other than we are? How does that make any sense? We’re just judging reality. To judge reality is to generate unnecessary suffering.
This is not the same as wanting to improve something. You can get better in some way – lose weight, earn more money, be healthier etc – without a heavy sense of “should” or not-enoughness. That is the key insight.
When you give yourself enoughness and operate your life from enough – then everything is a plus to your existence. It was already good, and now it’s better. And now it’s even better. And now, even better still. This is the upward spiral of existence.
When you give yourself the gift of enoughness then your life takes on a more benevolent tone. It’s nicer. It’s juicier. There’s more creative flow. More enjoyment. More reason to get out of bed. And you can finally get out of this mentality of constantly failing yourself.
All the best!