If you were wondering what human meat taste like, wonder no longer! I compiled a list of testimonies from cannibals, psychos and degenerates to help you better understand the flavor profiles of human flesh.
1. Back in the 1920s, one man set out to provide a detailed record of the societies that devour human flesh – and went so far as to taste it himself. American adventurer William Buehler Seabrook wrote of his experiences in his book Jungle Ways, published in 1931:
It was like good, fully developed veal, not young, but not yet beef. It was very definitely like that, and it was not like any other meat I had ever tasted. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitiveness could distinguish it from veal. It was mild, good meat with no other sharply defined or highly characteristic taste such as for instance, goat, high game, and pork have. The steak was slightly tougher than prime veal, a little stringy, but not too tough or stringy to be agreeably edible. The roast, from which I cut and ate a central slice, was tender, and in color, texture, smell as well as taste, strengthened my certainty that of all the meats we habitually know, veal is the one meat to which this meat is accurately comparable.
2. In 2007, German cannibal Armin Meiwes — who’s serving a life sentence for killing and eating a man — likened it to good pork only a bit tougher and a bit more bitter. In his first TV interview, Meiwes said his dish consisted of human steak in a green pepper sauce with croquettes and Brussels sprouts.
“I sauteed the steak of Bernd, with salt, pepper, garlic and nutmeg. I had it with Princess croquettes, Brussels sprouts and a green pepper sauce,” he said. “The flesh tastes like pork, a little bit more bitter, stronger. It tastes quite good.”
3. According to Issei Sagawa, who killed and ate a Dutch exchange student and who is currently roaming Tokyo as a free man, it tastes odorless, is not at all gamey, and is delicious:
Also, you know how beef or whale meat has a sort of beastly smell to it? Human meat is odorless. I actually believe that human meat is the tastiest of all meats. It doesn’t have any of that gamey animal smell. When I ate some more a couple of days later, just before I got arrested, the meat had become sweeter and it tasted great. The meat on the soles of her feet smelled bad, though, and didn’t taste very nice. The neck was the best. The meat tastes more delicate as you move up the body, especially above the torso. Her tongue was delicious as well. I took it out of her mouth and chewed on it raw. Neither the neck nor the tongue has much meat on it, though, so if you really want to feast, you should eat the thighs.
4. Alferd Packer, famous for killing and devouring five members of his Rocky Mountains prospecting party when provisions ran low, told a reporter in 1883 that breast muscle tissue was “the sweetest meat” he’d ever tasted
5. Omaima Nelson, who cooked and ate her husband in 1991, echoed Packer’s sentiment, calling the ribs she prepared “so sweet,”
“I only eat the parts with muscles, particularly thighs and calves, which are my favorite. I make a very tasty stew with the tongue and I use the eyes to make a nutritious and healthy soup.”
6. Dorangel Vargas, known as the ‘Hannibal Lecter of the Andes’.
“The breasts of man…are the sweetest meat I ever tasted.”
7. According to a guy on Reddit who ate part of his amputated leg, it tastes "like bison, but chewy"
On this scale I would give it a solid 6.5, but keep in mind that I have had a lot of good food. So it’s way better that a hot dog or regular burger. Maybe equal with regular bacon, which is pretty decent. But no where near as good as butter seared sea scallops or a rare sous vide tenderloin seared in grape seed oil in a cast iron pan.
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.