1. Never change your patterns.
If you and your spouse work from home and are together all the time, you cannot suddenly be away from home for hours at a time (this is just an example). There’s groundwork that must be laid…in advance.
One of the easiest things to spot, that screams “I’m having an affair”, is a sudden and abrupt change in patterns. These things need to be a slow roll.
2. When you ghost someone, you cause a lot of pain. People in pain often then get angry. Angry people then do things that might jeopardize your opsec.
Yes, Mutually assured destruction is always in play, but if you piss someone off enough, they might just not give a damn.
Before you ghost, think about the incriminating evidence/experiences you have exchanged with this person and the possibility of an Ex-AP wanting to throw you under the bus if contacted by your SO because you ghosted like a fucking teenager.
I advise to break it off like a grown-ass adult.
3. If you’re using a location or activity as an alibi, make sure they’re still open durin Covid.
On a local Facebook group somebody posted that a large, popular gym is closed (they shut down yesterday).
Someone commented: “Oh it can’t be! My husband is there right now, he’s been there for a couple hours”
4. iPhone check list:
Have you turned off/disabled:
1). Screen time 2).Location services and Significant locations (hidden in system services in location services) 3).Tracking 4).Siri and search 5).Notifications 6).App download history (can only hide, not delete) 7).iCloud sync 8).Camera roll sync 9).Find my iPhone 10) camera roll sharing app option
Check your app settings (telegram etc) individually and with a fine tooth comb.
Battery Usage is a tricky one that can’t be changed.
5. Be mindful of receipts, both paper and electronic. Everything we do these days creates a digital or real paper trail. Of course hotel receipts are obvious. Leave them in the room or trash in a safe place. But watch out for other transactions that could put you in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe you bought a present for AP or even just got gas or a coffee in a place you have no business going. Use cash in those areas and toss the receipt right away. Check your car, pockets, purse afterwards.
6. Use Telegram or Signal to message your partner. I prefer telegram because you can erase messages for both people even after an infinite amount of time. Messengers like whatsapp does not let you do a clean delete. In Signal you can set the messages to automatically self destruct after 5 mins. Other messengers apps like Facebook messenger might have a similar feature but it will have your name and display pic. If someone sees you texting your AP they will know who you are texting. Just use telegram or signal. Delete the chat once you are done texting. I prefer telegram and i will tell you why in a minute.
7. If you haven’t already, check your google account activity. Every google search, every use of google maps, and use of every app attached to a gmail account (tinder, text free, etc.). Some pretty serious evidence.
I’m not talking about just search history like some of the comments are saying, if you log in to your acct, and specifically search for “google activity” you’ll see every activity linked to google on a timeline. Even if you’ve deleted search history, google maps, or apps that you linked to a google account. It will still show up in google activity. It has to be cleared by specifically going to google activity, unless you have it turned off. I didn’t even know it existed
8. Metadata on your pictures. Take a screenshot of the picture you want to share with a current or potential AP. No metadata on screen shots.
9. Your phone or keyboard app has a clipboard where everything you have copied-and-pasted is saved. Depending on how your setup is, this may contain sensitive information and may need to deleted.
You need to clear the clip board and auto replace.
10. Stay away from iMessage. There are 1000’s of stories out there of someone being naughty via iMessage and their SO reading all their shit on another device or an iPad, Mac or any other device that is connected to the same Apple ID. Even if you turn it all off, sometimes this shit just magically turns on after major OS updates. It’s really mother fucking annoying. Just stay away from iMessage to do any sort of texting.
11. iCloud: Similar to iMessage but not as severe, this bitch will back up everything unless you turn it all off. So if you are on a shared account, your pictures, messages, applications, Safari search history and much more is being backed up and easy enough for a savvy SO to pull down from another machine. I am pretty technologically hygienic but I still find random settings, search histories or pictures here and there from other devices that I thought I deleted years ago. It’s crazy.
12. Notifications: Turn all this off. Nothing like you in the kitchen while your phone on the dinner table is receiving dick pics or a sexy shot of tan lines for everyone to see. If you are not worried about this, the least you can do is “turn off details”. This means you get alerted for a message or email, but can’t see its contents (just the icon). You never know when prying eyes are around (work, bar, public place, coffee shop, gym etc…)
13. Google Photos / Photos on iOS: You are for sure taking pictures. Don’t deny it. You’re cheating and want to show yourself off. It’s okay, all the cool kids are doing it. Just be careful of Google Photos and Photos (connected to iCloud on iOS). All that is being backed up. Get ready to delete after you are done with your fun! and don’t forget to empty the trash.
Fun fact: If you use Google Photos on iOS, your pictures are also in the native Photos app (they have to be deleted from both Google Photos and the Apple device Photos app (and trash).
If you are on a Samsung or another Android device same issue as above. Make sure to checks to see if your device does not have another app where the camera stores pictures.
Again, be careful of syncing across devices (via Google Accounts or iCloud). Hygiene is key and do spring cleaning often.
Google Photos introduced a “secure folder” type situation recently. It’s nice because its protected and those pictures dont back up to the cloud – but in a pinch if your SO ever finds it asks you to unlock that folder on the spot, you are fucked – and not in the way you really need right now. So I just advise against keeping any photos in locked folders, locked apps etc. Just have your fun and delete that shit. Plus, novelty is fun. You can exchange new stuff later.