1. Met him when I worked as a cashier in a small downtown shop. Wasn’t my type and seemed a little off, but I was young and had zero real dating experience.
Agreed to grab coffee as a friend and made it clear I didn’t have a romantic interest. He became convinced he was Gatsby and I was his Daisy (the Great Gatsby film had just come out that year).
Started stalking me and endlessly sending letters and gifts to me at work describing how we were fated to be together. When I confronted him to stop, he started having his friends follow me at work or drop by to “check in” on me.
Prowled outside on nights I had to close shop alone. I ended up quitting that job and things fizzled.
Seven months later I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. It was the same dude — he just got released from a short prison sentence and was letting me know he thought of me every day and was going to find me so we could finally be together.
I made up a story that I was travelling abroad for college and would be gone indefinitely. Changed my number and luckily haven’t heard from him again!
2. We had a terrible date, I wanted to cancel beforehand but felt guilty doing it. He texted A LOT after. I told him straight that I did not feel the same way about him and wait for it…. he took it well. He thank me for being straight with him and for giving him a chance. I hope he found someone.
The creepy behavior was (mostly) before the date. I was working a temporary bartending position while the usual bartender (a friend) was on unpaid maternity leave. It was a small, hole in the wall type neighborhood bar. In addition to off-putting/ creepy jokes and comments, there was also an incident where he offered to wait to walk me to my car and I declined. I still found him hiding in the shadows waiting for me as I walked out. He almost learned what a stun gun feels like that evening. He claimed he was just worried about me because he saw some sketchy people outside when he left. Do I know that’s what it was for sure? No. I definitely questioned his motives but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
I asked my friend what his deal was and she said he fell into the “creepy but harmless” category. After talking with him over the few weeks I was at that job, I took him as someone who had very poor social skills but not a bad person. I think the creepy vibe came from the lack of social skills. He needed a lesson in not trying to act cool or tough with his comments or jokes because it contributed to the creep for sure.
I accepted the date on my last shift at that bar figuring that if it went really badly, he didn’t know where I usually work and I made sure to drive myself there and had people on standby should I need help.
3. After a few dates he started to get way too serious. I told him calmly and honestly that I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship and he deserved to be with someone who was. He completely flipped shit and after a bit of name calling I stood up and started to leave the bar. He then said “you should watch yourself in the future. Especially when getting into your car…”
I was extremely paranoid for months after. Would check my backseat and under my vehicle. Never saw him again so just an empty threat, but not a fun time. That was like 15 years ago. Yeah he’s still single.
4. I bought him a coffee one time and we chatted about our music tastes. Three days later, I was sitting in my dorm and I got a text from him that was just a selfie. I sent one back and the conversation got really boring so I sent him a snap of a black screen. He responded, “are you in a dark place?” And I said “yeah lol”. His response was “well you’ll have to leave soon because you have class in (insert building with insert professor) at 6:00.”
I literally never told him anything about my classes so he just fucking stalked me until he learned my entire schedule. It turns out he was a serial creep preying on freshman girls.
5. At the end of a weird and terrible date, he asked me for a hug as I was turning to leave. I thought, “whatever gets this over with.” As I was pulling away, he forcibly grabbed the back of my head and shoved his tongue in my mouth before I was able to break free. The next morning I had a three page email in my inbox telling me all the things that are wrong with me and why he is not interested in a second date.
6. I had a bad vibe but my friend told me he was a “good guy.” So we went on a date and he asked to drive my car. He curbed my rims and talked about how he was fired unfairly from his job. The next weekend I avoided his calls and instead went out to dinner with friends. While I was gone, he broke into my apartment. My neighbors and the cops were waiting outside when I got home. I spent the night at my moms, he showed up at 0300 when they let him out and was trying to get in a window. Wonderful officer spent the rest of the night in the driveway. Fast forward a couple weeks and he shows up at my work, mopes over to me and hands me folded papers.
It was 8-10 handwritten front and back notebook papers where he alternated between telling me I was the love of his life to why he hated me and wished I would die. I was terrified, security escorted him away.
Never saw him again but found out later he did the same thing to some girl in Spokane but he was able to actually get in, beat her and landed her in the hospital.
7. On our first date, he told me he loved me and that he would let me pick out the color of our house. The rest of the evening was super awkward. I never talked to him again.
8. He stabbed my end table with a knife after getting upset with me. Then started stalking me. I moved and invested in cameras for my house and a dash cam. One million emails, police reports, etc. oh and his twin brother raped and stalked girls a few years prior. Ended up killing two police officers. Seems like “creep” runs in the family.
9. This guy was handsome but way too into me for knowing nothing about me. It wasn’t like when we spoke I was an open book or felt a strong connection that would lead me to want to share info with him. This was not a “I feel like I’ve known this man forever” connection. I just thought this was normal dating but had a gut feeling something was off…he talked to me like I’d been his girlfriend for months.
We went on 3 dates…never even had sex. After 3rd date I had made my decision based on our short time getting to know one another and let him know I had no interest in continuing to date and that I didn’t see us being compatible long term.
He then locked me in his car, proceeded to ask if I wanted to move to California with him (wtf), and started crying/begging me to “work this out.” I tried to be very nice but it got to the point I was scared and wasn’t sure how this was going to go since he was virtually a STRANGER, so I hit his dashboard and said if he didn’t let me out of the car immediately I was calling the police. Then he threatened to kill himself if I didn’t spend the night with him at his house…I’d never even been to this man’s house. He finally let me out after like an hour or two but stayed in the parking lot of my apartment almost the entire night and called me non-stop…about a month later he texted me out of the blue a reaaaaaaally long paragraph apologizing profusely and saying if I ever change my mind to call him. I just said thanks for the apology and wished him well.
Hope he’s doing okay but I wanted no part of that.
10. On our first date I ordered a beer. It came to the table super frothy. I was distracted for a moment but when I looked at it again there were very clear “drip” marks in the foam like something had been dropped in it. I made up some excuse about not feeling well and got out of there.
Oops! Can’t leave. My dumbass drove and my car was valeted. I, VERY uncomfortably, got the car from valet and we both got in. He asked me to stop at a gas station so he could buy smokes on the way. Thank god because I knew going to his house was not a good idea. As soon as he got out at the station I peeled out and left him there. I never should have let him in my car, but I panicked. I didn’t know what he was capable of.
This was 15+ years ago. I’m now happily married to the best thing that ever happened to me.