Why???
My wife and I dated for 5 years before getting married, but decided to wait. (stupid looking back on it). On our wedding night things didn’t work out… Turns out she has severe vaginismus which means her muscles won’t allow penetration, therefore no sex.
Has she tried any kind of medication/therapy/whatever?
She was misdiagnosed with a “thick hymen” so she had surgery to repair that which ultimately made the vaginismus worse. Then she’s had other therapy including dilators and electrical stem. It’s helped some, but still not enough.
How would you say it’s affected your love life in general?
Our love life is pretty much non-existent. Neither one of us really make much of an effort because we know how it’s going to end up.
Does she object to trying anal?
Yep, completely. Trust me, I’ve asked. #2 pussy would be fine with me.
What is her objection to it?
She sees it as being dirty and gets creeped out by it. She won’t even let me touch her there… Which as you can imagine has led to several arguments.
Do you get blowjobs and eat her out?
Yeah on occasion… But there’s an overwhelming sense of unfullfillment because the whole time you’re just thinking about having sex with her… Which you know isn’t possible. Even oral or other stuff is pretty rare these days.
Have you ever tried hotdogging it? Put your penis between her lips and grind?
I have actually but she also has a mild case of vulvudynia meaning her lips are really tender… Sometimes it hurts her to even receive oral…
So… you wouldn’t have married her if you knew about her issue?
As shallow as it sounds, probably not… Especially if I knew what it would actually be like..
It doesn’t sound shallow at all. Sex is a big part of most relationships, and it’s a dealbreaker for a lot of people. Having both people’s needs met is important in a relationship, and sexual needs are totally valid. Shame on her for lying about it.
Just to be clear, she’s never lied about it. I genuinely believe she wasn’t aware of the situation before we got married. She was just as surprised as I was.
You said that your love life is pretty much non existent, but does that mean you don’t love her? Basically, has not being able to have sex affected your feelings for her?
Unfortunately yes. It sounds really shallow, and I’m having a hard time accepting it but sex is a pretty vital part of a relationship. It starts messing with your head, wondering what’s wrong with me, maybe she doesn’t like me and shes faking etc… Builds up a lot of resentment towards her as well. Every time a reference to sex is made on tv I have a little breakdown in my mind…
Would she allow you to seek sex elsewhere?
No she probably wouldn’t. Just not the way she is. She’s still convinced she can get better.
Have you ever cheated on her?
No she probably wouldn’t. Just not the way she is. She’s still convinced she can get better.
Somehow I’ve never cheated on her, and hopefully I won’t. But its definitely crossed my mind on Numerous occasions. I work around a lot of girls my age, which doesn’t help matters
There has to be some kind of lemon law on the books for cases like this
Yu can get an annulment in our state but only within the first 2 years… After that you’re stuck… Bsically I’m penalized for still trying…