Most people assume that ‘having your shit together’ means you’re successful in your career or that you make a lot of money.
It simply means that you are in control of your life—you take active ownership of your living environment, your health, your ambitions, and your finances. You put in work maintaining certain aspects of your life, which allow you to thrive and maintain your sense of independence.
Having your life in order indicates that you not only can take care of yourself, but you are able to contribute to a relationship and not be a burden. This is why responsibility is sexy—men and women are biologically driven to seek partners that not only produce healthy children, but can help provide for and raise their children effectively.
No matter how physically attractive someone is, if their life is in disarray—their place is a mess, they have toxic personal relationships, they have no solid goals, etc.—it is a massive turn off. If someone can’t handle their own lives, how can they be reliable in a relationship.
Feeling safe emotionally is particularly important for women. Personal Instability and lack of reliability is a significant source of emotional distress.
It’s ultimately up to you how you get your shit together, but here are some general rules:
Keep your living environment clean and organized. This is paramount. A simple act such as making your bed every morning, doing dishes, making sure your bathroom isn’t nasty and stays fresh. When you bring someone over and your living environment is chaotic, they will feel uneasy and lost attraction.
Be a person of action, rather than words. Instead of telling someone you’re going to do something, take actionable steps towards your goals. If you say you’re going to do something, follow through.
Stay on top of your finances. This doesn’t mean you have to be wealthy, but having an understanding of your expenses and savings. Having a basic understanding and knowledge of investing (stocks, mutual funds, ETFs, dividends) is necessary to build wealth for yourself.
Most importantly, maintaining your health. This is not about maintaining your physical appearance(although it’s a positive bonus), but rather making sure your physical and mental well being are maintained. This isn’t always easy—eating well, getting proper sleep, limiting caffeine and alcohol—can be sacrificed for easier options that provide more monetary pleasure. These seemingly small decisions will have a massive impact on your mental health and quality of life