I used to have a wonderful relationship with the woman I love. However, five years ago, she got drunk, had a one night stand, and got pregnant from it. Can’t be mine, I can’t have kids due to a horseback riding injury when I was a teen. Didnt get the guys name, no way to find him, so he’s out of the picture. My wife decided to keep it, and we almost went through a divorce, but couples therapy made us decide to try again. We’re still in therapy now, since I still have a hard time trusting her.
So, she had her son. We talked a lot about it, and I made it clear that I’m ok taking on a step-parent role, but I wasnt willing to fully be his dad. I wouldnt adopt him, but I would help raise him and get him off to college. My wife agreed to this, became a stay at home mom so she could take care of him with help from her parents, and I’ve pretty much been the fun uncle like guy. I play with him, buy him games, try my best to not resent him (and I am in therapy for this), and mostly just stay out of the way of my wife’s parenting. He even calles me “Uncle,” instead of dad. He knows I’m not his father, and is just happy to play video games with me and chill.
Well, recently, my wife has started talking about me adopting him, something I’m not willing to do. I made it clear that if anything happened, he would go live with her parents, and I’d send child support. If they couldn’t take him, I wouldnt put him in foster care or anything, but I also wasnt willing to take on the responsibility of being his father when I’m not. I’m happy being an Uncle to another man’s kid, since thats what life threw at me.
This has greatly upset her, and she’s trying to find a way to force me into adopting him. She’s even been manipulating the poor kid, saying he should start calling me dad instead of uncle like he has his entire life, which is upsetting and confusing the poor boy. This situation has worked for the last 5 years, and I dont know why she’s trying to change something that isnt broken, or force me into a role I told her years ago I wasnt willing to accept, which she was fine with until just recently.