The first time I fell in love, I was 13. I wanted her to like me back so much I was prepared to do anything. I did my best to be nice, kind and giving – but none of it worked.
So I spent 2 years watching my first crush date asshole after asshole. She’d fall for the cheaters, the jerks and the guys who disrespected her. Every time, I was the one she cried to when things went wrong for the Nth time.
I didn’t get it. Here I was, giving her so much and ready to give more; we’d be great together… But she kept choosing them over me. She wasn’t the only one; over the years, many of the girls I liked ended up with assholes.
So when I finally decided to get with women, the first thing I wanted to know was, “why do girls like assholes so much?” – and whether I had to become one to be loved.
Here are the answers to those questions.
1. Girls Like Assholes because They’re Strong
Assholes have tough, dominant personalities. They’re not afraid to assert themselves over other people – in fact, they rarely show fear at all. They take what they want from life and don’t care what anyone thinks of them.
This is incredibly attractive because girls want to be with men who make them feel safe and protected. They like strong guys who know what they want and aren’t afraid to take it. Assholes have all those qualities – and so women choose them.
2. Girls Like Assholes because They Have Other Priorities
Women like successful, accomplished men. Just look at how they act around rockstars, actors, etc; success is an incredibly powerful aphrodisiac.
As an extension of that, girls are also attracted to guys who’ll be successful in the future. And what kind of man has the capacity to succeed? One who feels passionate and ambitious about his life’s goals, of course.
On the other hand, a man who puts his woman first is unattractive. There’s no challenge to him, his life has no great purpose: nothing sexy or interesting there.
By putting their women second, assholes project the potential for success. This is the second quality that makes them so attractive to women.
3. Assholes Create Emotional Ups & Downs, a.k.a. Chick Crack
A girl can talk to her friends for hours, whining about a guy who keeps being hot & cold; complaining how she can’t figure him out. (Some even make funky songs).
But at the end of the day, she’s talking about him, isn’t she?
Women are attracted to drama, mystery and challenges. They might not enjoy emotional ups and downs, but they’re attracted to the men who create them. Assholes are real good at that, which is the third reason chicks dig them.
4. Assholes are Direct
One of the most unattractive things about “nice guys” is how murky they are about what they want. They’re so busy trying to protect themselves from rejection that they don’t show the girl what they want from her.
This is extremely confusing to a woman. Try to put yourself in her position – imagine someone is being nice to you for no reason at all.
A stranger starts being nice to you on the street. You suspect he wants something – maybe money, maybe to sell you something – and so his niceness comes across as an act. You don’t know his intentions, which puts you on guard.
That’s how women feel about men who aren’t clear about what they want.
Assholes are always direct. They may not be nice, but at least they’re real – which is infinitely more attractive. This is the fourth and final reason women like them so much.
5. Main Point… You don’t have to be an asshole to be ANY of these things.
I spent so many years thinking girls like assholes… But I was wrong. After spending years talking to thousands of women, I can tell you that much for sure.
Look back at the previous four points. Do you really have to be a bad person to have any of those qualities?
You can be strong; you can have things going on in your life; you can learn to know when it’s time to keep your distance; you can be direct… And still be a great guy.
All the most attractive men I know are incredibly kind and generous. Being an asshole isn’t sexy or manly; when given a choice between a good guy and a bad guy with all of the above qualities, women will always pick the good guy.
Girls don’t like assholes. They like strong, challenging men with exciting lives. You don’t have to be a jerk to have all those attractive qualities – great news if you’re like me and enjoy being nice to people.
Yes, a very small minority of women confuses cruelty with strength. They’ll always be attracted to men who mistreat them – but you don’t want those girls anyway.
The ones you do want will appreciate your niceness and love you for it. Find them, attract them with your awesomeness and don’t be an asshole!
by George P.H.