I’m teaching in South Korea at the moment, which recently surpassed Japan in suicide rates. South Korea has the highest suicide rate in the world, among the top 31 wealthiest nations now, and suicide is the number one cause of death for people under the age of 40 in the country.
The week or so after I arrived, a 10 year old girl at a school near my town got a decent grade on a report card. It wasn’t the best grade, it wasn’t the worst. Her mom was pissed and, as a punishment, took her to the barber shop to get her hair cut way shorter than usual. A few days later the girl jumped from the 17th story of her apartment building. She left a bunch of notes written to her friends in crayon that said “Life is too difficult.”
Even in Asian countries that aren’t communist, the cultures are still collectivist. You’re not really you. You are a cog in your society. You’re expected to do your part, keep your head down, bust your ass, and not think too much about why.
Kids here, even the tiny elementary school kids, have longer days than I do.
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They go to school at 7:30, get out of school at 3.
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go to after-school classes and clubs at 3:10 until 4:30. English club, science club, etc.
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after that they go to piano lessons. or taekwondo. or swimming lessons.
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then they go to a Hogwan, or private English school in the evenings from like, 6-9.
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then they come home and study until bedtime.
The pressure is enormous to be AT LEAST as good as everyone else in the system. If your kid got a B on his test and the neighbor’s kid got an A, you’re gonna bust his ass until he gets that grade up. Anything less than everyone else is disgraceful.
You ever watch shows about the 1950s in America? Where the housewife’s always peeking out the window and saying “Our neighbors just got a new grill. We need a new grill,” or whatever? It’s EXACTLY like that.
Not only that, but kids who are different don’t get the help they do in the Western world. If you’re ADHD or dyslexic or autistic or colorblind or have a speech impediment or, fuck, artsy, there is NOTHING for you. NOTHING.
They’re also super repressed. I know a 25 year old school teacher who lives with her parents, has a curfew, and isn’t allowed to go on dates with boys until she brings them home to meet the folks. This isn’t unheard of.
They don’t really have hotels here, but they have love motels. These motels were built literally so people can fuck. The walls are super thin in most homes, so if you want to have sex and not have anyone else in your family know, you have to go to a love motel. This makes for some really frustrated teenagers, some really awkward romances, and some really sexless marriages.
Prostitution here is out of CONTROL. Brothels, brothels everywhere. And a ridiculous number of men cheat on their spouses because women aren’t really allowed to like sex. They don’t even show kissing on TV here, so I wouldn’t be surprised if a girl was considered a slut if she liked kissing boys in high school… much less giving head or ridin’ that dick any time in life after that. So guys go to get blowjobs and things from the cathouse down the street so they can stay sane. And the women just get really naggy.
There’s more to it than that of course, but I’m tired of writing. Point is, you take all that pressure and mix in a subtle difference and suddenly kids are throwing themselves out of windows.
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