Emotionals: Flatlines. Most days are just flatlines. You go out there, and you do what interests you, and sometimes the monotony of your existence is punctuated by events.
Sometimes you feel pleasant and happy, sometimes you feel angry, but your emotions are like calm ocean waves.
It comes, and then it goes, invariably around the clock, and they’re just as mild and watery as waves. There are no tsunamis in our world. We do not implode. We do not explode.
Our emotional range typically lacks the highest peaks and the lowest lows, but especially not the lows.
Relationships: We don’t love, and we don’t bond, and we don’t grieve. I treasure some people, but if they fell off a really tall cliff I would ask why and (if no justice needs serving) I move on. There are psychopaths who invest in people and have inner circles. There are those who do not. I’m one of those somewhere in the middle, with an inner circle I will not kill for. Regardless, we are fiercely loyal to our people. We go to great, incomprehensible lengths for them, because we are never concerned with the question, why me?
Why me, is for me, the singularly most damaging, self-pitying question people ask in a relationship. Why me? Why do I have to put up with this? Why do I have to suffer so? Why am I trapped into this? Well, we don’t have that. When we want to leave, we dust off our asses and get on our bikes and ride into the satanic sunset. If we stay, we are doing it of conscious choice and we don’t fucking whine about it.
Most importantly, we do not stalk, and we do not trap you into a relationship you don’t want to be. Your stalker ex? Not a psychopath. Your boss? Not a psychopath.
A mask is something we use to fit in.
It is the minutiae of faking empathy, emotion, and NT thought processes in order to fit in. It is not some glamorous Sailormoon transformation process that immediately levels us up from human to dark vigilante. It includes, but isn’t just limited to:
- Responding with ‘I’m fine’ instead of ‘Fuck off’
- Caring about your epileptic kid stories
- Being afraid with everyone else when an escaped lion appears, and screaming like a little girl.
- Griping about bills.
- Nervousness about a big day, speech etc.
- Caring deeply about being fired
- Complaining about the prices of things.
- Showing low-self esteem sometimes ala ‘I’m so fat! I hate myself!’
- Pretending to remember and keep grudges from that time Albert from Accounts was slightly rude to you, because that’s expected behavior and you don’t want anyone to know that you’ve all but forgotten his existence.
Extrapolate to everyday interactions that fits this trend. In other words, it’s mostly to cover up the fact that we biologically cannot give a shit, because everyone else expects us to give many shits and fit in with their model of NT behavior.
You dial these up and down depending on what your culture/society is like, but the end goal is the same — to fit in.
In tldr terms, we biologically cannot give a shit about most things that people give many shits about, so we have to hide it.
Diseases and assorted NOs:
No, we do not get PTSD. No, we do not get depressed. No, no insecurity, nor arrogance. Not sadism usually, but there are exceptions. We do not play with people for fun. We do not kill. We do not kill ourselves either. We do not post our brain scans online. We do not self-diagnose. We do not care what you think about us. We are all here for a reason, and that reason is not to nurture your disbelief.
I hope that is comprehensive insight into our day.
– Carlis Kwok