First, you have to go back in time to when you’re a child. From a young age, you start hearing comments about your appearance. Random family members will say things like, “You may not be pretty, but you have brains. Being smart is so much more important.” Or, “Don’t worry, you’ll grow into you looks some day.”
Even starting preschool, you start getting mean comments. Kids call you names and point out any flaw you have. Kids don’t want to play with on the playground, and will tell you it’s because you’re too ugly. You get older and get used to mean comments and exclusion. But it gets even worse when you reach jr. high. The boys start making jokes about how gross you are, say things like, “I wouldn’t fuck her with a paper bag over hear head.” They laugh and make comments while other students join in. They pretend to ask you out, while laughing, and then run to their friends joking about how disgusting you are.
Mean girls make fun of your clothes, shoes and anything you do or wear. When the teacher assigns them to be partners with you on a group project, they act visibly disgusted, and beg the teacher for a new partner. The teacher then laughs and says, “In the real world you have to work with all types of people you don’t like, so get used to it.” Deep down you’re dying cuz all you do is act polite and normal, yet you’re hated and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Of course you make some friends, but they feel awkward and uncomfortable when they see you being bullied. They like you and feel bad, but there’s nothing they can do about it. It’s humiliating, because you don’t want your friends to pity you. You come home from school, sad and depressed.
You know the way you’re treated is because of physical features you can’t change. Your mom tries to comfort you by saying, “You’re beautiful the inside”. Your dad makes light hearted jokes to cheer you up, “Fuck those vapid mean girls, one day you’ll grow up to be rich , and you’ll be laughing at them.” Deep down you know this isn’t true, but you try and focus on other things.
You get older. Start high school and begin puberty. You see all the girls you are in school with look more beautiful than ever. Your body and face does not look like theirs at all. You see them in the locker room and they all look normal. Your saggy uneven boobs, and boxy body fail in comparison to them. You ask yourself why this happening. You ask god, why your body isn’t pretty like other girls! Why your boobs and body are misshapen! You didn’t do anything! You just grew wrong.
Every time you look in the mirror you want to die. Everyday you see girls better looking than you, and feel intense envy! You start to feel lonely. You see other girls getting boyfriends and going to dances. You realize no guy would ever want to date you, and those pretty prom dresses wouldn’t even look good on someone as oddly shaped as you.
Boys are still mean to you, or completely ignore your existence. You try and talk to a guy you have things in common with, but he acts uncomfortable and tries to leave the conversation immediately. You then see that same guy laughing and flirting with another girl, five minutes later.
Valentine’s Day is sin fuel. You see all the girls getting flowers, candies, and cards. You get nothing. You can only imagine what your life would have been like if you were genetically normal.
You want a boyfriend, but guys won’t even treat you like a human being. They either see you as a joke, or they don’t see you at all. You walk home from school, and you hear grown men yelling obscenities to you from their car windows. “Kill yourself fatty”, or “Damn that’s an ugly bitch”. This happens every time you go for a walk.
You graduate high school with very little social experience, a few friends that you hang out with occasionally. But they have other friends and party’s to go to, so they’re busy a lot. They don’t invite you, because they assume you won’t enjoy it. You don’t know why they think that, because you’ve never been to a party, so even you don’t know if you’d like it or not. You understand that it’s probably because your ugly, and you’d probably be excluded from conversations anyway.
You get a job and realize work and high school are weirdly similar. No one openly bullies you, but people treat you rudely and ignore you. The Beckys, Stacys, and Chads are treated better and given more respect. You are invisible and only a few people talk to you and are nice. You’re used to it though. You try and talk to your single male co-workers to see if maybe one of them may possibly be interested. Sometimes you forget you’re ugly for a moment, and think you have a shot. Nope, he’s not interested, and is a little insulted you even tried to flirt with him. He’s obsessed with a Stacy, that is in a happy relationship and barley knows he exists. Oh well you focus on your career.
You try internet dating. Tinder is a toxic waste dump, but you’re desperate. You get very few matches. When you match with someone, you text, “Hi, nice to meet you”, and then they unmatch instantly. Eventually you switch to bumble because you hear it’s less sleazy. You get a few matches to text back. Only one word answers. No effort. You don’t get asked out on dates, only Netflix and chill type deals. Also you have to drive to their place, and don’t forget to eat before you come, there won’t be food. You go. Remember no man has ever even had a conversation with you before.
You jump at any opportunity to get to know someone. You want a connection. You want to feel like a Prom Queen on Valentine’s Day. But you quickly realize that’s not going to happen. The men you meet are not nice. They don’t want to get to know you. They don’t care about your hopes, dreams, or career ambitions. They don’t even seem to like you. You try to get to know them, but every conversation turns sexual. You dodge, but then they get annoyed. They say oddly mean things like, “You’re not really my type”, or “I was hoping you’d look better than your photos”. They tell you, “you should leave before my roommate gets home”. You’re crushed because all you ever wanted was love and acceptance. You know that because you’re ugly, you’ll never find a good man that will love you, and treat you well. You’re lonely and it never gets better. The end!