Where are you from and is it common in your culture?
I’m from Kuwait and yes its really common. Its even rare to find someone not in one.
Would you have rather chosen a husband yourself?
Well I don’t because I never dated but I think I got really lucky with my husband.
And I think it have saved me a lot of time and effort.
Did you have the choice to say “No dad, not this one, find someone else”?
Well I did the same thing with another guy before.
What made you decide to reject that man before your husband? How did your father react?
The three 3 times we met he just kept saying nice things about me. It was a marriage interview and he said nothing about marriage or our responsibility or children or anything important.
My husband understands the “ways” to get married.
Did you ever wanted to have a boyfriend or date someone you like?
Having a boyfriend? No never, I find it disgusting and gross. How could I sleep with a man who doesn’t hold an responsibility towards me and I don’t have responsibility towards him and I find it a risky thing.
How did the process work? Did you know your husband before you were arranged to marry?
Ofcourse, I had to know everything that happened.
He was the son of my father boss and I saw him couple times at events but never talked to him.
But afte my father came to me to tell me that I have marriage proposal and then I met him for coffee couple of time before we got engaged.
Was there any money exchange? Or any sort of exchange as sign of arrangement?
Yes there were a money exchange. The man had to pay the woman family a (jeza) and mine was 80k dollars .
A business contract? No but I had to sign a marriage certificate ( it means that I the woman approve of that man to be my husband)
How long have you been married?
Are you happy? Getting a good life?
Yes I am really happy and life have been treating me good.
Do you love him?
Do you love him?
What are the positive and negative aspects of your situation?
Positives: it was straight forward and it was good communication.
Negatives: that it felt like a job and he was at first like a business partner ( before we got engaged) and it felt like people was expecting something out of it.
Do you have a proper education or have you just been raised to be a wife?
Well a lot of girls are raised as future wives and to have education at the same time . So I was expected to study a lot and be a good caretaker.
But yes I have a master degree in math.
What are your career goals?
I stopped working after I got married.
But my life goal is to raise my son as best as possible and treat my husband with the most respect and make him feel like a king.
Will you push your children to be in arranged marriages?
Yes but I won’t be against him if come and tell me that he loves someone and wants to marry them.
What if ur daughter doesn’t want an arranged marriage
And that my friend a problem for future me
Would you want the same for your daughter, knowing the risk of choosing someone she would not be happy with?
I knew the risks when I first got on the “market” but I think it’s safer choice then the “western way”.
And yes her opinion matters.
To answer your question yes I want her to do the same
What do you think is unsafe about the Western way?
Like if my husband cheated on me I have to take half his money but in the west with dating he can cheat and nothing bad would happen to him. We have responsibility give by god to be a team.
And also what if i became pregnant with a man I don’t know who would take care of the baby. Those are my reasons.
Do you feel that you are judge by western people for being in such an arrangement. If so do you think there is any validity to their judgment?
Yes I do but i understand why. They want maximum Freedom to their life even if its lead to bad or good thing and what I did goes against what they believe. and they see me take part of it as the same as promoting it. But its human nature and I do the same. Like with drinking, you think drinking is working and not effecting you but it ruined alot of lifes. So I judge you for drinking because I see you promoting it.
I hope I explain it ( sorry my English is not good).
What will you do if your husband turns out to be physically abusive, does your father resolve that or it’s up to you? Are you allowed to file for divorce?
No it’s my father responsibility and mine to solve this maybe I can forgive him or I can go to the police or divorce him.
And yes physically abuse is one of the reasons for a divorce.
Is he allowed to have other wives?
Yes he is allowed to have more wives but we had an agreement that if he brings another woman I’m out.
When you and your husband have intercourse is it for enjoyment and pleasure, reproduction purposes, because your husband wants it, or all of the above?
It’s for lust on both sides. But I think in Christianity you do it for reproductive reasons only ( correct me if I’m wrong).f