How did it begin? How old were you when it started?
I was 15 when it started. He was 38. He’s 23 years older than me.
His classroom was directly across from my art class. I hated art class and usually skipped it. He is a special needs teacher and had a sensory swing in his room. He offered for me to hang out in it and I spent every single art class in his classroom instead.
I was a neglected mentally ill teenager with dead dad and abusive mom issues. It started out of friendship. And became flirtatious.
I think he was looking for attention outside of his falling apart marriage and I was looking for a stable adult and once we exchanged numbers it was all over with.
We started asking each other questions and they grew more and more intimate and once we started private messaging each other it was on.
My attraction wasn’t immediate but the closer we got the more it grew. I thought he loved me and I was in love with him.
I was close to 21 when it ended.
Was he the one that got physical first or was it you who made the first touchy move?
I made the first move. I kissed him first. We were in a park.
And he didn’t turn you away from that?
Nope he was happy to give me the attention I craved
Did you sleep with him willingly or did he force you to sleep with him?
It was willingly I thought I was in love with him I was to young to see the consequences
Where did you spend time together over that five year period?
Never on school grounds though I spent A LOT of time in his classroom. A lot of flirting and messages sent during school but no sex. He mostly came to my house. We’d meet at parks no real dates but we spent a lot of time together a lot of hikes ect he attended all the high school foot ball games so I did too. He’d “run to the store” in the evenings and come by or take his kids to band practice thenz come by until they were done ect things like that
How did you hide it from your friends and family?
I moved out of my childhood home by the time I was 16 and lived alone so my mom didn’t find out until I was an adult. I just kept my mouth shut some people had suspicious. His wife knew.
How did she know?
She found our messages. It was a really weird time. She got me a graduation present.
What did she get you?
she got me art supplies
How did you prevent getting pregnant?
I have pcos (Polycystic ovary syndrome) and luckily was on birth control from a really young age to stop my symptoms
How has that experience affected you?
A lot of trust issues and anger and emotional issues. I’ve had a hard time maintaining meaningful relationships and trusting them. And mostly just a lot of emotional pain
The older I get the more the effects become apparent it’s caused more trauma than I ever imagined I go to therapy weekly.
Honestly I didnt notice the impact until this last year because up until now I felt like the home wrecker not the victim. But the absolute toll it took on my mental health rocked me to my core. I feel betrayed and duped. I thought he was in love with me. I thought he was going to leave his wife. We had plans and I couldnt see the bull shit as a child.
How are you healing?
Im am okay. I have just recently started really talking about it in detail. A lot of people know but I still can’t seem to talk about it to the ones around me which is why I post here. I need to talk about it but to strangers if that makes sense mostly because I felt guilty for a long time.
Totally understandable, sounds like you just want to get it out of your system. Is there anything you want to get off your chest about it?
His wife knew and was jealous instead of wringing any alarm bells I’ve felt alright guilt for sleeping with her husband for years and now I’m realizing she’s a shit person.
I was in love with this man. We had plans he told me he was leaving his wife for me. I felt like the other woman the home wrecker the guilt ate me up for years.
I still cant openly talk about it to the ones around me even though they know now because part of me still feels like the dirty mistress not the abused kid . But i also need to talk about it and tell everyone what he did to me that’s why I’ve come to strangers on the internet
What finally ended everything?
He tried to end things prior via email (that I still have ) but they just didn’t end then when I was like 20 years old. I just kinda snapped and completely ghosted him mid conversation.
Are you still on speaking terms with him?
No he messaged me a about a year ago to apologize for hurting me
Is there any way he can be put into jail for rape? Or has the statute of limitations passed?
I’m in the process of pressing charges. We are in Louisiana I’m not sure what our statue of limitations are for rape or grooming but I’ve only come forward about it all recently so now it’s a he said she said deal.
Do you have evidence?
We mostly emailed and used google hangouts to talk i still have most of them. he is under investigation but it has just started
Since you have started the process of legal action, do you know if it has gotten out yet?
It hasn’t gotten around our town yet but i know it will
Where’s the teacher now?
Unfortunately he still works at the same school. I kept quiet until I was an adult so when I didn’t start telling people it was mostly swept under the rug despite me having ample evidence and screenshots and pictures all dated