1. Absolutely. It’s the best thing ever. It can be hard sometimes but a good attitude goes a long way. Some of mine are grown or almost and some are not so I am in the lucky position of getting to see the payoff while still in the trenches. I can tell you I am just as head-over-heels about my 21-year-old as I was when she was a baby. She is still the very best girl ever, and I am super lucky to be her mom.
2. It isn’t always fun and games, but those kids eventually grow up to be adults. Mine turned out fairly awesome and I love hanging out with them. We all text daily, we see our son (middle, 31) the most, then our oldest daughter (33) the next, and then the youngest (29). But that’s geography. The boy lives the closest, the oldest is about a 30 minute drive and the baby of the family lives just over an hour away. We see her less often, but when we do, it’s awesome fun.
We had our ups and downs, of course, but we made it through and I didn’t kill anyone and they didn’t kill me.
3. Oh gosh, yes. But it changes.
When my kids were little, they were adorable and my wife and I were their whole world.
Now, they are young adults, and I take immense joy in conversing with them, learning from them, and watching them take their first steps into the grown-up world.
4. I have a 14 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. My wife and I tried for a long time to conceive our son and when we stopped trying he showed up. I love both of my kids but I dont like my son. He’s one of those kids that makes everything harder and if we had him first there would have been no second. I look forward to going to work on Monday so I can have a break from him. The people who wished they never had kids probably had a very difficult child.
5. It was my wife’s idea to have our son when we did. We were nearing 30 and she felt the urge to have a child. I didn’t feel this yet but I love her so agreed. I am so thankful to her for as this was the best thing we ever did. The amount of joy this one decision bought us over the last 22 years has been immense and there is no comparison to it. I can make myself happy by just thinking about him and the times we had before he left home and the person he has become. I can’t believe how much I love him and when he left home – initially to go backpacking but then for college – I felt actual physical grief similar to the death of a loved one; even though I was in contact with him on social media etc. It took me a year or so to get over this.
Until my son was born I considered my wife to be my best friend and couldn’t imagine how anyone else could ever be that close to me. For the past 22 years I have two best friends.
6. I didn’t have an ‘initial rush’ of joy – I was relieved and happy that the babies and my wife were AOK and that I witnessed their births and first breaths. There is immeasurable joy getting to hold them for the first time, bringing them home and then watching them grow into adults, seeing them become parents and then grandparents. Years zoom by much too quickly. Every hour of every day is worth it, except maybe those phone calls from school principals.
7. Absolutely, being mom is still very rewarding even though all four of my children are grown adults. My role in their lives is minimal at this point, but if you raise your kids to be strong, independent people who believe in themselves and their ability to make good decisions, you kind of work yourself out of a job. I’m very proud of all my kids, they are good people, kind & caring to everyone and they are responsible, hardworking and successful. I enjoy hanging out with them individually but getting us all together is a hilariously good time. My third child, a boy, told me at Christmas that I’m going to be a grandma and I’m so happy. He and his fiancé will be great parents. The love I have for my children and they for me was the motivation for all the work and sacrifices in raising them. I have never regretted a second of it, they were worth it
8. It’s really hard. When they are little it’s hard. When they grow up it’s hard. Do I regret it? No. Am I tired of taking care of all living things (besides my cats)? Yes. Am I glad I had them? Definitely.
9. Best thing I ever did. There have been good times and bad, but it’s all worth it. I have grandchildren now, too. Having children taught me what it means to really love another person.
10. Yes. I’ve had rough times but I’m now a mother of two kind, intelligent, respectful, resourceful, hard working, independent and funny boys ages 27 and 31. My love and pride for them are beyond explanation. But I’ve gone through a lot of shit to get here. But worth it.
11. My daughter, now 29, is the #1 most amazing thing that’s happened in my life. My wife would say the same. She’s been a most unusual person since she was a baby, and she’s been a constant delight and inspiration.