1. I think the thing lots of guys don’t understand is there is a difference between being nice and being kind. Anybody can be “nice” but if you’re only being nice to someone to gain something in return, I think most people can pick up on that and it’s a huge turn-off. However if you’re genuinely a kind person and treat people well regardless of what they can offer you, that is very very attractive.
2. “Intelligence and naturally fluid conversation get me every time, and well-fitting clothes convey thoughtfulness and poise. You could look like an inflated lawn gnome and if you’ve got those two things goin’ on, I’d hit it. And I totally dated a guy (with those qualities) that was the spitting image of an inflated lawn gnome. Like to the point where complete strangers would comment on it. So yeah.”
3. Style and hygiene. Good dresser and smells good, your ugliness will kind of fade in the background.
4. A great personality and sense of humor. There’s been so many times that I initially found a guy unattractive, but after an hour or so of laughing and joking with him I’ve realized “Shit, I want to get his pants off.”
5. I find responsibility and ambition extremely attractive. It’s not about money. It’s about a guy who has his shit together, who’s looking for a partner and not a mother.
6. Being really clever. You can have the body of Adonis but if you can’t make me laugh, the panties are staying on.
8. Passion is the hottest thing ever. I don’t care if what you’re passionate about is weather patterns, or M:tG, or heck, phytoremediation. If you talk about it with enthusiasm and are patient in explaining the basics to me, oh man. That’s hot. That’s like, the hottest thing.
9. A warm personality. Sometimes you can tell that from just looking at someone, they have a really welcoming and nice demeanor.
10. Intelligence, a good balance of confidence and modesty, a great (but appropriate) sense of humour, good hygiene, and ambition/drive.
11. Being able to participate in a well-balanced conversation is a big one for me. (I.e. being able to both listen to the other person and talk about yourself when either is appropriate).
Superficially, I’d say well-fitted clothes are a turn-on. Even if you’re a bigger guy, hiding under a tent is not the answer. Shoulder seams should be on the shoulders, pants should not be overly baggy or sagging off your butt. This goes doubly for skinny guys because hiding under baggy clothes makes it worse.
One, good, tailored suit jacket is an excellent investment for men of any size.
12. Personality. Funny, smart, polite, considerate, etc.
I’d rather date and overweight guy with a receding hairline that could make me laugh and hold an intelligent conversation than a pretty boy who was as interesting as a box of hair. I’ve done both. Pretty boy gets old real fast.
13. Being well dressed, well groomed, and taking an active interest in other people and the world around you. A lot of young men, whether or not they were blessed in the looks department, seem so fucking terrified to be seen as “trying” or “giving a fuck” or “looking stupid.” So they schlump about in the same ill-fitting shorts and ugly haircut day after day, making a big show about how they can’t dance with you or go beer tasting or visit a museum or watch a sporting event because taking care of yourself is “gay” and taking interest in things is “pointless.” I’d much rather be around a not-so-handsome guy in a nice pair of jeans who was interested in things than a super hot guy who thought he was above combing his hair or doing anything but play video games alone.
14. A t-shirt that actually fits well – not baggy, not skin tight. Just fitted enough to actually show off your general shape and a bit of your arms.
Having your own personal style is great too, and can be hugely attractive. My comment’s aimed more at men who just don’t care about the clothes they wear. Fitted over baggy will almost always make you look a LOT more physically appealing to my eyes (and those of most of my girlfriends, as it happens).
15. One of my best friends is about a 4 in the looks department but he is just such a sweet quiet guy with a daft sense of humour. He has such warm genuine smiles. He works hard and I’ve never heard him once complain about being single or become jaded about women. In a different universe where I had not have met my fiance I would snap him up. My heart breaks for him as I don’t think people really give him the chance he deserves because he is shy and not conventionally attractive. I can’t tell him how wonderful he is without it being inappropriate. I really hope he finds someone who makes him happy. His personality alone pushes him to our a 7 or 8
16. The split second a guy gets technical and passionate about his topic(s) of interest, I melt. Something about that excitement in his voice and that outpouring of knowledge…swoons
17. Confidence is a big one, not bravado, but the kind of confidence you get from being cool with who you are. Also, never underestimate the power of a good hair cut.
18. “A great sense of humor. The first guy I dated was not conventionally attractive—red hair, covered in freckles, kinda tubby and awkward…but holy shit, he made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe, until my face hurt! He was one of the funniest, most quick-witted people I’ve ever known. Totally smitten.”
19. “Generosity (helping others when opportunity arises) and muscles. A nice hard body with definition. These are the top two. You can have a face like a slapped arse but if you’re generous/kind and muscular, you’re VERY attractive.”
20. “Courage. Not just the confidence to approach a girl and brush off minor ego injuries, like we always see in response to these threads. Real courage, the kind that leads a man to start a business, or admit when he’s in really bad trouble, or go solo backpacking in the far reaches of nowhere, or stand up to something wrong that his friends are doing, is an aphrodisiac.”
21. “The ability to fix stuff. For some reason, I love that in a man. I’ve fallen for more than one ugly mechanic…but in all seriousness, my husband can fix anything. If he doesn’t know how, he looks it up. He has no formal training or anything. I think it goes back to security. I feel safer when I know my man can fix stuff.”
22. “Seriously, even a moderately attractive guy playing with his cute dog = ovaries exploding.”