1. Make it difficult for you to meet/connect/spend time with family or friends and will repeatedly make critical comments (to isolate you)
2. They don’t respect your boundaries. And they subtly push them until you find yourself tolerating things you would usually run for the hills for
3. It’s never their fault
4. When everything you do, they always make it sound like nothing important. Downgrading or belittling it. You’re never as good as them, your hobbies or work isn’t as hard as theirs and you feel like you don’t matter.
5. When you are nervous next to them and “relaxed” when not. When your phone buzzes with a notification and your first reaction is a tightened stomach and caught breath.
6. Gaslighting. Somehow, every thing is always your fault and never theirs, and they’ll beat you so much with their version of the truth, you start to believe it. They will belittle your argument or dismiss it.
7. Controlling behaviour – always assuming control, and undermiming your ability to do anything yourself.
8. Makes out that they’re the only one who cares about you (to make you stay/rely on them)
9. Gets angry and offended when confronted about their own issues and gaslights you into saying sorry or that it is YOU who has to do better in the end.
10. Threatening to breakup with you after every argument or threatening suicide if you break up with them
11. Your feelings don’t matter, and no matter what happens, everything is your fault. You’re trying to talk about a problem and by the end of the conversation you’re the one apologizing.
12. When they show no pity or remorse for something they did that hurt you.
13. You’re always walking on eggshells
14. They leave you questioning your worth and character.
15. When you find yourself doing things not because you want to make them happy, but to avoid them becoming angry.
16. Friends and family mention this person isn’t good for you and you feel like their lawyer when talking about them to your friends and family.
17. If you find excuses everyday not to go home on time after work.
18. he good times always feels like a high you are always chasing.
19. Subtle criticism of your clothes, body and behaviour (so you’ll be worn down and have low self esteem because it makes you more compliant